


Come My Way

by TheWeaverofWorlds



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Weed, anti-Semitism, ballet dancer Bev, ballet dancer Eddie, ballet dancer Stan, eventual reddie, eventual stenbrough, skater Bill, skater Richie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWeaverofWorlds/pseuds/TheWeaverofWorlds
Summary: Stan will do anything for his friends, but when, mutual friend, Bill Denbrough asks him to pretend to date him in order to get their friends together he isn't so sure. Not to mention Bill is a skateboarder, who smokes weed, and attends the prestigious Derry College Prep. Stan, who has never smoked a day in his life, does ballet, and attends Derry Public with idiots like Patrick Hockstetter and Henry Bowers. Talk about a recipe for disaster. Besides Bill is acting super strange, and he can't have a crush on Stan as he is definitely 100% straight. And Stan certainly does not like him. If anyone asks he's doing this for Eddie.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 406
Kudos: 387





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love like yours will surely come my way  
> "Everyday" - Buddy Holly

The ballet studio was unbearably warm. Spring had come early, and the sunlight which streamed through the large windows did nothing to help the matter. Stan watched his reflection, ensuring that the positioning of his feet were correct, before returning his focus to his partner. This week they had started partnering with the girls, who until now had been cloistered away in the afternoons for pointe lessons. Stan didn’t know how Beverly, his partner, made dancing on her toes look so easy. She looked like she was floating on air. Only Stan, who was taking her weight, knew that that was a lie.

The class was working on an adagio when their concentration was broken. Outside shouts could be heard. Instinctively, Stan turned his head and saw a pair of boys his age riding by on skateboards. He recognized one of the skaters as Richie Tozier, a boy who went to his school. Eddie, who had also seen Richie, nearly dropped his partner in the process. The boy Stan didn’t recognize was laughing and shouting something indistinguishable over his shoulder. His red hair gleamed in the sunlight, and Stan couldn’t help but notice the powerful strokes of his legs as he pushed himself forward.

The ballet master coughed. All the students returned their focus to the adagio. Only Stan noticed how flushed Eddie looked, and it wasn’t from the heat of the room.

By six o’clock the lessons were done, and Stan and Eddie went to the locker room to change. They didn’t discuss what happened that afternoon, but Stan knew Eddie was thinking about it. It was probably the school’s worst kept secret that Eddie had a thing for Richie. The only person who didn’t seem to know it was Richie. To everyone else the crush didn’t make sense. Eddie was a straight-A student, and Richie was Derry High’s greatest burnout. But what the rest of the school seemed to forget was that Richie used to be smart, smarter than Eddie. Hell, probably even smarter than Stan. And that they used to be friends. Stan could still remember middle school, when the three of them had been like the Three Musketeers. All for one and one for all, and all that crap. Eddie had had it bad for Richie, even back then. The boy who was ruled by germs, illness, and his mother – none of those things came close to the softness he held for Richie. So when Richie started smoking weed, and hanging out with the other burnouts it had hurt. Eddie was clearly more upset than Stan, and it had been his job to comfort his friend. But Stan had lost a friend too, and fuck it sucked.

“Hey, Eddie. Bev and I were going to go to the library. Do you want to come?” Stan asked.

“I can’t. My mom is expecting me.”

Stan tried not to sigh. Eddie’s mom was the definition of a helicopter parent. She never let Eddie go anywhere unless she had a full day’s notice and always expected him home after ballet lessons.

“Besides, I have very little interest in third or fourth wheeling.” Eddie said. He was referring to the boy who worked at the library who always flirted with Bev when she came in. Stan thought it was a little unfair for Eddie to so quickly pounce upon the awkwardness of third wheeling as that had been Stan’s entire childhood with Richie and Eddie. History repeated itself, only this time it was with Bev and Library Boy. Jesus, that was depressing.

“Alright, Eddie.”

“Stan, are you mad at me?”

“Nah, just tired.”

Eddie nodded, but the anxious look on his face had yet to dissipate.

“Really, Eddie. I’m alright.”

“You’d tell me otherwise, right? I mean we’re still best friends right?”

“Yeah, Eddie.”

Eddie let out a breath. “Okay, cool. Sorry. You know how it’s been since...”

Stan didn’t need Eddie to finish his sentence to know that Eddie was talking about when Richie ghosted them. “I know.”

“I’d better go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Eddie hurried out of the locker room leaving Stan to his thoughts. He carefully clipped his kippah back into his curls before re-tucking his shirt into his slacks. Already his muscles ached from the day and all he wanted to do was go home, but he had promised Bev that he would go with her to the library.

He exited the men’s locker room to find Beverly leaning against the wall. Her hair was still up in its bun, but she had changed back into her regular clothes. An unsmoked cigarette was tucked behind her ear.

“You ready?”

Stan nodded, and Bev led the way down the long staircase. The ballet studios were on the second floor of the Ukrainian Club. The first floor had a multitude of rooms for cultural gatherings as well as some classrooms for pre-k. To be honest the first floor was a mystery shrouded by thick Ukrainian words that neither teen could interpret. Stan and Bev rarely liked to linger there. They made it out into the fading sunlight and turned down Main Street to go to the library. As they walked, Beverly lit her cigarette and began to pull pins out of her hair. She stuffed them unceremoniously into her coat pockets, and Stan was sure that by tomorrow she will have lost them all.

“Today was so fucking strange,” Bev said.

“Yeah?”

“I mean Richie fucking Tozier riding by, haven’t thought of him in a hot minute.”

Stan shrugged.

“And he was with a Derry Prep boy, weird.”

So that’s why he hadn’t recognized the other boy. Stan, Eddie, Richie and Beverly all attended Derry Public High School which was a poor excuse for a high school. Just across town was Derry College Prep, an all boys’ school for people who actually had a future and were likely to get out of Derry. Why a DP boy would be riding a skateboard with Richie Tozier was beyond Stan’s comprehension.

“Earth to Stan, you still there?” Beverly asked interrupting his train of thought.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I just was saying it’s weird to see a DP boy out of uniform.”

“You see Library Boy out of uniform.”

Beverly rolled her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you and Eddie, his name is Ben. And besides, Ben is still dressed in a respectable manner. The boy Richie was with looked downright feral.”

Stan didn’t think that was a fair assessment. He had thought the other boy had looked good in a sort of scruffy way. He wouldn’t have guessed that he was a DP boy.

They had reached the library and any semblance of conversation stopped. Beverly touched the stone lion’s head lovingly for good luck, before putting out her cigarette. She led the way inside to their usual table, right by the help desk and pulled out some books to “study.” It didn’t take long until she was up and had wandered over to the help desk where Ben was working. They struck up an easy conversation, to which Stan couldn’t help but be a little jealous. He continued to work on his calculus homework and did his best not to feel alone.

“Hey. Sorry to interrupt, but you’re Bev’s friend, right?”

Stan looked up to see another boy who worked at the library. The boy had a kind smile as he looked over to where Bev and Ben were still chatting.

“Yeah. Stan.”

“Stan.” The boy’s smile grew. “I’m Mike. Anyway, this Friday I’m having a party out at my place. Ben will be there, but he’s too chicken shit to ask Bev. So I was wondering -”

“If I’d bring her?” Stan asked.

“Yeah. And you can invite any other friends of yours too,” Mike said. “It’s just a small house party. Nothing too crazy.”

“You go to Derry Prep?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason.” 

Derry Prep parties were known to get out of hand, but Mike seemed alright. And deep down Stan was a bit of a romantic, so if it meant that he could help Bev and Ben get together he would probably end up agreeing.

“Alright. I’ll do it.”

“Cool. I live out on the Hanlon Farm. My folks won’t be around, so we have the place to ourselves,” Mike said. “Come around 10 or 11.”

Stan nodded.

“And Stan? Thanks. I’m excited to see you there.”

Stan blushed a little. Mike was looking so intently at him that he wasn’t sure how to feel. “Um, I should get back to my calculus homework. I’ll see you Friday.”

Mike laughed softly. It was a rich, warm laugh that made Stan stiffen slightly in his chair. He didn’t relax until the other boy had left.

“Who was that?” Beverly asked bounding back to their table.

“Mike. He invited us to a party at his place on Friday -”

Beverly whistled softly. “Fuck. We have to go.”

“- Ben will be there.”

“Forget about that, I mean don’t forget about Ben obviously, what I mean is we have to go so you can get some of that,” Beverly said.

“Excuse me?”

“Did you see how he was looking at you, like you’re some Jewish pastry that he could swallow in one bite,” Beverly said.

“Ew, Bev. It’s not like that.”

“Admit it, Uris, when was the last time you’ve had someone look at you like that?”

Never. But Stan wasn’t about to tell Beverly that.

“My point exactly. This is your chance, Stan. You don’t have to go further than you want to, but what’s some harmless flirting and possibly making out a little. You deserve some fun.”

“Beverly, no. I just met the guy.”

“Even better. Anonymous fun. No strings attached.”

Stan couldn’t tell her that he wanted the strings. That he wanted to kiss someone and to have it matter. She didn’t understand what it was like to want to be desirable since she already was.

“Fine. But Eddie’s coming too.” Stan said.

“Duh.”

–

“Absolutely not,” Eddie said.

It was the next day and things were not going well. 

“My mom will kill me if I go out to a party on Friday.”

“C’mon, Eddie, it’ll be fun,” Beverly said.

Eddie shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. Do you know how many diseases there are at parties. STDs, mono -”

“Eddie you’re not going to get mono unless you kiss someone,” Beverly said.

“I could get mono from sharing a drink -”

“Yeah, but are you really going to do that?” Stan asked.

Eddie sighed. “My mom -”

“Tell her you’re staying with me after ballet. She’ll be okay with that,” Stan said.

“C’mon, Eddie. It won’t be the same without you.” Beverly said.

Eddie’s eyes flicked across the cafeteria to where Richie was holding court with the other burnouts. Stan didn’t know what Eddie was searching for, but whatever it was he found it. “Alright. I’ll go. But we have to come home by 1 am.”

“Unless we’re having fun,” Beverly said.

“1 am.”

“Fine. 1 am.”

–

Eddie was able to get permission from his mother to stay at the Uris’ so long as he promised to call her before he went to bed. He had packed an overnight bag, which currently was sitting on Stan’s floor. He sat on Stan’s bed to stay out of the way as Bev paced the entire length of the room. She was wearing a black crop top, that Eddie was sure her parents’ didn’t know she owned, as well as ripped skinny jeans. Her hair was down, like a fiery mantle across her shoulders. She looked good. Powerful. Eddie wished he could share in some of her confidence.

“C’mon, Stan. It’s getting late.” Bev said.

“Keep it down, do you want my parents to know you’re in here.” Stan stepped out of his closet wearing a button down and slacks. “How about this?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “It’s a house party, not a funeral. Don’t you have anything a normal teenager would wear?”

Beverly pushed past Stan to get into his closet. She began pushing hangers aggressively to the side until she found something suitable. She pulled out a black tank top that Stan wore for ballet as well as a pair of jeans he had never worn.

“Absolutely not.”

“Staaaaannnnn,” Beverly said. “You cannot go to a party dressed like a professor.”

“I’m going to look ridiculous.”

“No. You’re going to look hot.” 

Beverly moved and began unbuttoning Stan’s shirt. She tugged it off of him before tossing it towards Eddie. Stan got the idea and took the black tank from her. He pulled off his undershirt and slipped the black one on.

“Now the pants,” Bev said passing him the jeans.

Stan sighed. His mother had bought the pair for him a couple years ago, but he had never had the courage to put them on. They were snug, he had grown since freshman year, and he suddenly felt self conscious.

“How do I look?”

“Very handsome.” Bev said.

Eddie nodded.

“Everyone ready?” Bev asked.

She led the way to Stan’s window and gracefully climbed out onto the roof. Eddie followed her, leaving Stan alone in his room. He turned out the light before stepping out onto the sloped roof. They walked carefully over to the old tree by the corner of the house. Beverly, who was the most used to climbing the tree, made her way to the bough with ease. She climbed down the tree and was on the ground before the other boys had even gotten there. Eddie was much more cautious about the whole matter. He had never used the tree as an entry point to Stan’s house before, and was anxious of doing any noticeable harm. After what seemed to take so long that Stan was sure his parents would discover them missing, Eddie was safely out of the tree. All that was left was for Stan to climb down. He’d only done it once before, when Richie was still his friend, and although he was a lot bigger now it felt like he was a lot farther from than ground than when he was younger. 

Once he made it on the ground, the three friends walked to where they had stowed their bikes earlier that day. The Hanlon farm was too far out to walk to, and none of them could think of an excuse that would warrant borrowing their parents’ cars. So biking was the only viable choice. Stan hadn’t ridden his bike in years, he felt rusty and a little foolish but it was faster than walking and with their 1 am self-imposed curfew speed was the name of the game.

A thrill of adventure caused Stan to shiver as they road out of town. He had never done something like this, and it only felt appropriate that Beverly and Eddie were with him. They arrived at the Hanlon farm just past 11:15. Already there were cars all along the driveway, and lights streamed from the house. Even from the road Stan could hear the music, its thumping bass calling for a dance so different than what happens on the second floor of the Ukrainian Club.

The three of them hid their bikes near the road and began the long walk down the driveway. The closer they got to the house the more insistent and needy the music became. It was a siren’s call. There were red plastic cups littered around the yard, and Stan could smell the aromatic heady scent of someone smoking.

“Fuck,” Eddie said. He reached for his inhaler. “I don’t think I can do this.”

Beverly took his hand. “Yes you can. Just until 1 am.”

“Bev -”

“You promised, Eddie.”

“Alright. 1 am.”

“1 am.” Beverly promised.

“1 am.” Stan said.

Eddie looked a little relieved and together they made their way into the house.

Mike had definitely miscalculated by calling this a “small house party.” The living room, turned dance floor, was packed with students from Derry High and Derry Prep alike. Dancers were grinding on each other, and there were some couples making out. From the kitchen there were shouts and cheers, which suggested a lot more people.

“I need a drink,” Eddie said.

Beverly and Stan looked at him with some surprise. As a unit they made their way into the kitchen. The kitchen was more brightly lit. On the counter was a plastic tub filled with a pinkish-orange liquid. At the table an intense game of flip cup was occurring. Stan recognized Mike and gave a nod of recognition.

Mike touched a girl’s shoulder whispering something to her before making his way over to them “Hey guys, I’m glad you could make it!”

“Hi Mike. You know Bev, and this is our friend Eddie,” Stan said.

“Nice to meet you Eddie. Just so you know we’ve got Jungle Juice that you’re more than welcome to help yourself to,” Mike said. “I’d better get back to the game. Let me know if you need anything.”

Eddie made his way over to the counter and dipped a cup into the juice. It was surprisingly sugary. He could barely taste the alcohol. When he turned around, Bev and Stan had disappeared into the crowd. Eddie began to feel like he couldn’t breathe again. Blindly he made his way back past the dance floor. He made a wrong turn or two and ended up on the back porch. He closed his eyes, enjoying the clean cool air. It calmed him down and it took him a moment or so before he realized he wasn’t alone.

“H-hey. Are you alright?”

Eddie opened his eyes and was startled to see two boys sitting on the railing. A joint was between one of the boy’s fingers and the other boy… was Richie Tozier.

“I – I gotta go,” Eddie said stumbling away from them.

“Eds?”

Eddie closed his eyes. It had been years since he had heard that stupid nickname.

“Are you good?”

Eddie let out the air he hadn’t known he had been holding. He opened his eyes before turning to face the pair. “Just peachy.”

“He d-doesn’t look so g-good,” the other boy said. “You want a hit?”

“Eds doesn’t smoke.” Richie replied.

Anger stirred in Eddie’s gut. What did Richie know what he did or didn’t do? They hadn’t been friends in years. 

“Sure.”

Richie looked taken aback as his friend passed the joint over to him. It couldn’t be any different than his inhaler, right? Eddie breathed in, and immediately began to cough. 

Richie smirked. “Told you.”

“W-w-wanna shotgun it? It’ll be easier, I p-promise,” Richie’s friend said.

Eddie nodded, if only to defy Richie and his stupid expectations. Richie’s friend smiled. He hopped off the railing and came over to Eddie. Richie watched them carefully.

“You know how?”

Eddie nodded. He’d seen movies. He assumed it was easy, just breathe in as the other person breathes out, right?

Richie’s friend took the joint from between his fingers and brought it to his lips. His pupils were blown wide, and his eyes were bright. He inhaled, and brought his other hand to the back of Eddie’s neck. He nodded and Eddie opened his mouth as the other boy exhaled. Eddie could taste the dry, heady smoke in his mouth and he tried to ignore just how many respiratory diseases he may have caught. Richie’s friend had yet to move his hand from the back of Eddie’s neck, and he could feel the warmth spreading from there through his body. The other boy didn’t take his eyes off of him, and his lips were so close that Eddie wondered if he was about to get his first kiss.

“Bill. Enough.” Richie said.

Bill laughed easily, pulling away from Eddie. “D-damn, Tozier, I see what you mean. He really is cute.”

“Shut up, Bill.”

Eddie was at a complete loss at what to say.

“Eddie?”

He turned, Stan was standing in the door. He looked more rumpled than usual, his curls were a mess.

“Fuck.” Bill murmured staring at Stan.

“I got worried. We should go now,” Stan said.

Eddie nodded and allowed himself to be pulled back into the writhing mass of bodies. Once they had made it through the house Stan turned on him.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know.”

“You were smoking weed with Richie Tozier?”

“Um-”

“Did he say anything? Did he apologize?”

“No.”

Cute. Bill had said Richie called him cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. What the hell did that mean?

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Stan. I’m alright. What happened to you and Bev? I turned around and you were gone.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Eddie suddenly felt very tired. There was something Stan wasn’t telling him, and Beverly wasn’t by their bikes like he was expecting. The night had been very strange, and to be perfectly honest Eddie was ready to go to bed.

–

The two boys rode home without Bev. After climbing back through the window, Eddie went into Stan’s bathroom to change into pajamas. His clothes reeked of weed. He had hoped that the bike ride would clean the scent from his skin, but its cloying smell hung around him. He scrubbed his face and brushed his teeth twice in the effort of getting rid of the taste and smell. All it made him think of was Richie, and he was definitely not alright with that. Once he felt clean, or as clean as he was going to get, he returned to Stan’s bedroom.

Stan had made a pallet of blankets and pillows on the floor for him and had already turned out the light. It was clear that Stan didn’t want to talk, but Eddie wasn’t ready to give in so easily. He crawled into his nest before turning on his side to face Stan’s bed.

“Stan, what happened tonight? Why did you and Bev disappear?”

“When you went to go get a drink, Ben appeared and asked her to dance. She pulled me along before I could say anything.”

“Oh.”

“Why were you smoking with Richie?”

“I started freaking out, and needed some air. I got a little turned around and ended up on the back porch. I didn’t realize Richie was out there until later...his friend saw how upset I was and offered a hit. I couldn’t… I didn’t… We ended up shotgunning it. Why didn’t Bev leave with us?”

Stan remained silent.

“Stan, is Bev okay?”

“She’s fine, Eddie. She and Ben decided to take a walk, they wanted to chat. She said that if the 1 am curfew came to just leave without her.” Stan said.

Eddie twisted around to look at the clock on the Stan’s bedside table. It wasn’t even close to 1 am yet.

“Stan, what happened?”

“I’m not a casual person.”

“I know you’re not.” Shit was Stan crying?

“I just couldn’t do it. After Ben and Bev left some guy came up to me and started grinding against me, and I thought I was okay but then he got more aggressive and handsy.” Stan was definitely crying. “He wanted to make out, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give my first kiss away to that creep. I just wanted to leave. I’m sorry, Eddie.”

Eddie pushed the blankets off of himself and climbed into Stan’s bed. His friend’s eyes were red, and tears stained his cheeks. He pulled his friend close and just held him as he continued to sob. He carded his fingers through Stan’s curls until he heard a soft, “don’t.”

Eddie understood immediately and moved his hand to Stan’s shoulders where he rubbed soothing circles. They fell asleep curled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I have another chapter written, which I just need to edit, so hopefully I'll have that posted soon! Please leave a kudos and comment to let me know what you think! I love to hear your thoughts.  
> Fondly yrs,  
> TheWeaverofWorlds


	2. Chapter 2

By Monday morning Stan was doing everything he could to forget about Friday. After Eddie had left Saturday morning he had taken three hot showers, practically scrubbing himself raw. He had thrown out the jeans and black shirt as he never wanted to see them again. He just wanted to forget how desperate and lonely the whole thing made him feel. It was pathetic. 

He was doing an alright job of ignoring his emotions until Richie came up to him in third period.

“Hey, Stan. Didn’t expect to see you at Hanlon’s party on Friday.”

Stan looked up from the lab report to stare at Richie.

“Did you have fun?”

“What do you want, Tozier?”

“Last name basis, ouch. Do you and Eds still take classes at the Ukrainian Club?”

“Why should I tell you that? You’re just going to make fun of us like Bowers and the rest of them.”

“No, no, no, no, no. Shit, man. Do you really think so poorly of me?”

“I’m not really sure what to think,” Stan said.

“Right.”

“Is that all? I really should get back to my report.”

“You never answered my question, Stan.”

“Really I don’t think-”

“Please, Stan, if you ever cared about our friendship you’ll tell me.”

“That’s a fucking low blow,” Stan said.

Richie couldn’t help himself. He laughed. “Stan The Man gets off a good one.”

Stan’s walls cracked, he hadn’t heard that in years. Nostalgia and grief pooled in his stomach. “Yeah. We still take lessons. You better not use that information for harm, Tozier, or I’ll set Beverly Marsh on you.”

“Noted. Thank you, Stan the Man.”

Stan turned away from him, he felt like he had just betrayed Eddie. He tried to bury himself in his work.

–

At lunch, Stan met Beverly and Eddie in the cafeteria. Beverly filled any uncomfortable silence describing her Friday evening.

“It was absolutely wonderful. Ben took me up on Mike’s roof and we just sat there and talked for hours. He’s so smart. He wants to be an architect. He wrote me a poem, isn’t that cute?” Bev said.

“I’m happy for you, Bev. You two are really cute together,” Stan said.

“We stayed out all night and then got breakfast at Al’s at like 5. He wants to hang out tonight after classes, he took time off and everything.”

“Wow that’s great,” Eddie said.

“Isn’t it? He’s just so sweet. I really like him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. But what about you two? Did you have fun? Did Mike talk to you at all?”

Stan shook his head. 

“Aw I’m sorry. I was sure he was into you,” Bev said.

Eddie watched them with a confused look.

“What about you, Eddie, have any fun?”

“Um parties really aren’t my scene,” Eddie said.

“Boo. You boys need to learn to live a little.”

Stan felt Eddie staring at him, but he pointedly looked anywhere but at Eddie. He glanced over to the burnout table and found Richie Tozier grinning at him. He rolled his eyes and returned his attention to Bev who had returned to talking about Ben. There really was no winning today.

–

Close to the end of the ballet lesson there was a loud disturbance outside. All the students turned their heads to look out the windows. Below them on the street, a shop owner was yelling at two boys for riding their skateboards on the sidewalk as there were pedestrians. Stan’s stomach lurched as he recognized Richie and his friend from the other day.

“Students, focus,” the ballet master said. “Now the adagio, again.”

The accompanist didn’t wait for them, and began to play the familiar tune from the beginning. Stan tried to focus on Beverly, but he kept looking out the window to see if Richie had left yet. To his horror he found Richie and the other boy were sitting on the steps of the building across the road as if they were waiting. The other boy was definitely smoking something, and Richie was periodically looking up a the windows. Stan had to remind himself that the other boy could not in fact see into the studio from his vantage point.

“Ow! Eddie stepped on my foot,” Greta, Eddie’s partner, said.

“Mr. Kaspbrack, focus. The outside world is of no consequence right now. We shall discuss your lack of attention in my office after class,” the ballet master said. “Everyone again, from the top.”

All the students knew better than to groan. They went back to their beginning positions to start again. The accompanist began to bang out the opening chords.

“What’s got him so riled up?” Beverly asked under her breath.

“Richie’s outside.”

“Still?”

“It looks like he’s waiting.”

“Shit.”

After the lesson, Stan changed quickly. Eddie had a meeting with the ballet master and Beverly had hurried to get ready for her date, so Stan was left alone with his thoughts. He raced down the stairs, ignoring the ache in his calves. Outside, Richie and his friend were still on the stoop across the road. With little care of oncoming traffic Stan made his way to them.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hi to you too,” Richie said.

“Are you here to mock Eddie, because I didn’t tell you that we still took ballet so that you could make fun of him.”

Richie’s eyes widened comically behind his thick coke-bottle lenses. “That’s not it at all.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to see him. To check up on him after Friday.”

“You could have done that in school.”

“You know he won’t talk to me in school.”

“So you thought surprising him would be better? You know how anxious he gets.”

Richie rubbed the back of his neck.

“Rich, maybe we should go,” the other boy said.

Stan looked at him before returning his attention to Richie. “You should listen to your friend, Rich.”

“Is Eds, okay?”

“You know he doesn’t like to be called that.”

“C’mon, Stan the Man.”

“I think you should leave.”

Richie sighed. “Alright.”

The other boys stood, and brushed past him on the stairs. They set their skateboards down with a clatter before riding off. Stan watched them go. Richie’s friend turned to look at him curiously before turning the corner.

Stan didn’t realize he had clenched his fists until they had gone. He slowly unfurled his fingers examining the angry red imprints in the palm of his hand. He returned to the front of the Ukrainian Club to wait for Eddie. It took ten more minutes for the other boy to show up.

“You okay?”

“Sure. Is he still here?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Did you want him to be here?” 

Stan was afraid that he had done the wrong thing in sending Richie away.

Eddie shook his head. “No. I don’t want to see him again.”

Stan nodded. He didn’t think he wanted to see Richie Tozier anytime soon either. As they began to walk back towards Eddie’s house they heard a roaring engine, which could only mean one thing in a small town. Bowers. Or to be more exact it was Belch Huggins’s car, and where Belch was so was Patrick and Henry. It was like an unholy trinity.

The car pulled up to them and idled for a moment.

“Faggots going for a walk. Ain’t that cute?” Bowers said.

Patrick flicked his lit cigarette at them with a laugh.

“How was the dance class? Your mothers must really hate you to make you go to ballet lessons, or maybe you like it,” Bowers said.

“Shut up, Henry,” Stan said.

“What are you going to do, kike?”

“You’re an asshole,” Eddie said.

Bowers laughed. “What a bunch of losers. Have fun sucking each other off.”

Belch revved the engine before driving off.

“I hate them,” Eddie said.

Stan couldn’t say anything.

“Are you okay?”

His words were gone, used up on a homophobic, anti-Semetic prick.

“C’mon it’s getting late.”

Despite the hatred they had just experienced, Eddie took Stan’s hand and began leading the way home. When they reached his driveway he asked Stan if he would be alright walking home alone.

Stan nodded, “Sure, Eddie. I’m okay now.”

Stan knew it wasn’t convincing, but what else was there to say?

Eddie eyed him over before nodding. “If you’re sure.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah I’ll see you.”

Stan left. 

Eddie watched him go and wondered what was going through his friend’s mind. He was about to turn into his driveway when he heard a familiar clattering of wheels on asphalt. He turned and found Richie riding up to him.

“Richie, what are you doing here?”

Richie stopped his skateboard, before popping the tail and catching it.

“I wanted to make sure you were alright after Friday, but Stan scared me off. I forgot how tough he could be,” Richie said.

“Yeah, Stan’s the strongest guy I know.”

“Are you two dating?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Forget I asked.”

Eddie nodded uneasily.

“So are you alright?”

“Yeah. Sure. It was just weird.”

“It was great to see you at Hanlon’s party. I didn’t know you go to parties,” Richie said.

“I don’t.”

“Oh.”

“Look, Richie, I better get inside before my mom freaks out and sees me talking to you -”

“I bet your mom is as sexy as always, do you think she’d let me take her out on a date?”

“Stop, Richie. You don’t get to make those kind of jokes anymore. We’re not friends.”

“Right.”

“Is that all you wanted, to check in on me?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Well I’m fine. So you can go now.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Bye, Richie.”

“Bye.” 

It sounded hollow to Eddie, but he didn’t bother trying to say anything else. It already hurt too much. He turned away from Richie and walked to his front door. He was tired and he felt like he wanted to cry.

–

The rest of the week dragged on. Eddie and Stan barely saw Bev anymore because she was always hanging out with Ben. However, on Wednesday night she invited them to a lacrosse game the next day.

“It’ll be fun. You can get to know Ben better, maybe meet some of his friends,” Beverly said.

“Since when have you ever wanted to go to a sporting event before?” Stan asked.

“We don’t have to watch the game. I just think it would be a way for us to meet some new people,” Beverly said.

“Since when do DP boys count as people.” Eddie asked.

“Ben’s a person!”

“We’re not saying he isn’t. But a lacrosse game? Jesus, Bev, that kinda sounds like torture,” said Stan.

“Look, I get the party was a flop. But this will be different. Just some good honest school spirit.”

“What have you done to our friend, Beverly?” asked Eddie.

Beverly laughed. “Oh shut up. Are you in?”

Eddie smiled. “Yeah. I could use the distraction.”

“Okay. Fine.” Stan said.

“Thank you, both. I mean it.”

–

The Varsity Lacrosse game didn’t start until 7 pm on Thursday so Beverly, Eddie, and Stan went to grab food before heading over to Derry College Prep. The school was located in the more affluential side of town and was a lot prettier than Derry High. After a flood in the sixties, their school had been rebuilt in a style which demanded squat brick buildings. Derry Prep had been built much earlier. The granite used had come from Derry’s quarry. The whole place looked like it ought to belong in A Separate Peace or Harry Potter.

“Shit it feels like Hogwarts,” Eddie said looking at granite spires that rose among the trees.

“I wish it were Hogwarts. The classes would be a lot more fun,” Ben said meeting them at the front gate.

Beverly flew into his arms. “Ben, these are my friends, Stan and Eddie.”

“Hi guys, I’ll show you to the athletic fields. They’re just beyond the school.” Ben said leading the way.

Stan couldn’t imagine attending a place like this. He wondered if there were bullies here too. And if so, were they as bad as Henry Bowers? Stan doubted it.

In the dying daylight the athletic fields were lit by stark lights that flattened and bleached everything. The lacrosse team was already warming up on the field as the JV game had ended. Ben led them over to the bleachers. He offered Beverly a hand, which she took and followed him to an empty row. The spring evening was chilly which allowed Beverly to lean against Ben for warmth. The boy was practically glowing at her touch.

The conversation came surprisingly easily between the four of them. Stan found that he was having fun. However, by halftime his ass and back were aching from sitting on the cold metal bleacher.

“I’m going to take a walk,” Stan said.

“Want someone to go with you?” Beverly asked.

“I’m alright.”

“If you’re sure,” Beverly said.

“Yeah, thanks though.”

Gingerly Stan made his way down the bleachers, careful not to trip. He walked a half circuit around the field, glad to regain some feeling in his legs as well as to warm up. He was about to turn back towards the bleachers when he heard someone call his name.

“S-stan?”

He recognized the boy as Richie’s friend, the one with whom he skateboarded. He certainly didn’t know how this boy knew him or why he would be at a lacrosse game. Surely he was another burnout like Richie, albeit a wealthier one.

“Yeah. How do you know my name?”

“Oh sorry. R-richie told me it. I’m B-bill. Bill D-denbrough.”

“Hi. Um can I do something for you?”

“Y-yeah. I kind of have an a-awkward r-request. D-do you have time to chat? M-maybe after the g-game?”

“Can I ask what this is about?”

“Sure, but not here. Al’s d-diner?” Bill said. “I’ll m-meet you there.”

Stan nodded.

“Thanks, Stan.” Bill smiled.

He watched the other boy amble off toward the home team and couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had just happened. He made his way back to his friends.

Beverly and Eddie had gone off somewhere, leaving Ben to watch their things.

“Hey, Ben, do you know Bill Denbrough?”

“Sure. We used to pretty close. Why?”

“I guess I wasn’t expecting to see him at a lacrosse game, that’s all.”

“Oh well his brother is on the JV team. He always comes to support Georgie’s games, then they stay to watch varsity together.” Ben said.

“Oh. I sorta thought he was a pothead.”

Ben laughed. “I mean he smokes, but his home life is a bit of a disaster. He does it to help take the edge off. But he’s a good guy.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Stan, is everything alright? Did Bill say something to you?”

“Everything is fine. I just thought he was someone else.” Stan lied.

“Oh. Okay.”

The conversation was dropped as Beverly and Eddie returned with snacks. The game resumed, but Stan couldn’t focus. All he could think about was why Bill Denbrough wanted to meet with him at Al’s.

After the game Ben offered that they all hang out at his house, but Eddie needed to go home and Stan had plans. Stan walked Eddie back towards his house before continuing on to Al’s Diner. 

Al’s was located in the heart of Derry, right between the two high schools. Students had been going their since their parents’ time, because the food was delicious and the prices were low.

When Stan arrived the place was packed. Bill Denbrough had arrived before him and was sitting at a booth with a younger boy who was drinking a milkshake. Bill looked up at Stan upon his arrival.

“Stan, this is my little brother, G-georgie.”

Georgie rolled his eyes. “You can call me George. Bill’s the only one who insists on calling me Georgie anymore.”

“G-georgie, how about you go sit at the c-counter and t-tell Al all about how you scored the w-w-winning point,” Bill said.

Georgie looked from Stan to Bill before getting up and taking his milkshake with him.

“So what is it you want to talk about?” Stan asked.

“D-do you want to order anything f-first?”

“I’d like to know why I’m here.”

“Alright. I j-just want to ask that you hear me out entirely. I don’t w-want you to walk out on me t-til you’ve heard me out. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Richie has a c-c-crush on Eddie.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It’s t-t-true, Stan, I swear.”

“I’m leaving.”

“You p-p-p-promised to hear me out.”

“No, what I said is okay I’d listen. I’m not going to listen to you spread rumors about my best friend that will only hurt him.” Stan said.

“He w-w-wants to ask him out.”

“Bullshit.”

“He’s afraid, Stan.”

“If this is true, and that’s a big if, why the hell should he be afraid? Everyone knows Eddie still loves him.” Stan blanched. He hadn’t meant to say that, not to someone who could be manipulating him to play some sort of sick practical joke.

“Okay, sure he’s a little afraid of Eddie’s response after everything that happened b-b-between you guys after middle school. B-b-but he’s really scared of what this t-t-t-town is going to do to Eddie if they start d-d-dating.” Bill said.

“You’re kidding right?”

“You k-k-know B-b-bowers. P-p-p-patrick H-h-h-”

“Yeah I know them.”

“R-richie doesn’t w-w-want to make things w-w-worse.”

“I’m sorry, that sucks for him. What am I supposed to do about it?”

“W-w-well I had this idea. Maybe if there was someone else g-going through the s-s-same thing it would be easier for them. G-give them something to believe in,” Bill said.

“That’s a nice idea, but in this town who else is in a similar situation?”

Bill stared at Stan, begging him to understand.

“What?”

“Stan, please?”

“What do you mean ‘Stan, please?’” Panic was beginning to claw at Stan’s throat making it difficult for him to breathe. He began to see where Bill was going with all of this. “I’m not even out. How did you know?”

“Richie.”

“That bastard.”

“You’re the only one w-who can do it.”

“No.”

“You do b-ballet.”

“No.”

“E-e-eddie looks up to you.”

“No.”

“You’re strong. The w-w-way you talked to Richie the other day, the w-w-way you handled Eddie. It has to b-be you. Trust me I didn’t want it to be you, but it has to be you.”

Stan wasn’t sure if he should be offended or flattered. “So what I’m just supposed to find some guy to date? Hate to break it to you but there aren’t a lot of options.”

“No.”

“Then what do you want? Just spit it out.”

“I w-w-want you to pretend t-t-to d-d-date me,” Bill said looking up at him. “Just until prom.”

For a moment Stan was speechless.

“No.”

“Stan, p-please. They won’t get together unless R-richie knows it’s safe.”

“It will never be safe. Not in Derry. Not so long as there are people like Henry Bowers. Or Patrick Hockstetter.”

“I know, but we have to t-try.”

“I’m sorry, Bill. Find someone else.”

Stan stood to leave.

“I’ll p-p-pay you.”

“I don’t want your money, Denbrough.”

Stan did his best not to run out of the diner. Screw what Ben had said about Bill. He was awful. Sure his intentions were good, but to offer Stan money was adding insult to injury. Stan had never dated anyone, and Bill wanted him to pretend. How could he be so casual? Maybe Stan was being selfish. People called him cold and heartless, but his heart hadn’t belonged to anyone before. All he wanted was some say in who he was giving it to. Fuck, Bill Denbrough and his noble ideas of casual intimacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left me kudos or a comment. It means so much to me, I appreciate your support more than I can say. I hope to have an update soon. Please let me know what you think!!  
> TheWeaverofWorlds


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Stan was in a terrible mood. Not only had he gotten very little sleep, but he couldn’t help but still be pissed off at the nerve of Bill Denbrough. He understood wanting to help your friends, but he didn’t get why Bill felt the need to out him in the process. He doubted that Denbrough was even gay. No. It was a terrible plan, and if Richie wanted to date Eddie so badly he was just going to have to grow a pair.

Stan arrived at school later than anticipated. The halls were practically empty as people rushed off to homeroom. He made it to homeroom just before the bell rang.

Eddie wasn’t there. While it wasn’t uncommon for Eddie to miss school due to his mother’s constant concern, a sense of foreboding tugged at Stan’s gut. Stan checked his phone. Eddie usually texted him if he wasn’t coming to school. There were no new messages.

As homeroom continued, Stan began to grow more and more nervous. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and relief flooded his system. He pulled out his phone. His heart plummeted.

Richie: Eddie’s been hurt. We’re on the way to the nurse. He wants you.

–

That morning, Eddie’s mom had gone into a panic and had insisted on checking his temperature multiple times. Once Eddie had finally convinced her that he wasn’t sick, they were running late. His mom dropped him off at the West Entrance as it was more convenient, and told him to call her if he needed her for anything.

The school looked deserted as practically everyone was headed toward homeroom. Eddie began to trot up the stairs when two figures peeled away from the shadows. Immediately he recognized them as Henry and Patrick. He turned and found Belch following him up the stairs. He was cornered.

Before he could dart to the side Patrick and Belch bounded towards him, grabbing a hold of him. Belch tore his backpack from his shoulders, throwing it down the stairs. Before Eddie could register the pain in his shoulders, Henry came up to him and hit him in the stomach. “You fucking queer faggot. This is for you looking at my cousin. Don’t you ever do that again.”

Eddie grunted as Henry hit him again. “Do you hear me, fairy? Fucking respond.”

Eddie couldn’t breathe. Eddie tried to reach for his inhaler, but neither boy loosened their grip.

“Hey, wheezy, say something,” Patrick said tightening his hold as Eddie struggled.

Eddie’s shoulder popped unnaturally sending a shooting pain through his arm.

Distantly he could hear the bell ring.

“Fuck, Henry, we should go. We can’t be late again,” Belch said.

Henry punched Eddie again before spitting on him. “I hope you remember this, Kaspbrack. Next time we won’t be so gentle.”

Without Belch and Patrick holding him up, Eddie collapsed on the steps. Tears burned his eyes. He was struggling to breath and his arm was really hurting now. With his good hand he began searching his pockets for his inhaler. He looked up and found Richie staring at him from the bottom of the steps. His backpack was carelessly resting on one should and in his hand was a now forgotten cigarette. He was the poster child for lazy student, only his look of horror was out of place.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Richie bounded up the stairs to Eddie, kneeling in front of him.

“Richie?”

“Yeah, I’m here spaghetti man,” Richie said reverting to one of Eddie’s childhood nicknames.

Eddie coughed. “Fuck, it hurts to breathe.”

“Do you need your inhaler?”

“I think – I think it must be in my back-backpack.”

Richie ran to it and began pulling zippers open until he found the inhaler. He passed it over to Eddie who gratefully took the medication. Once that was done he pulled up his shirt to find bruises already beginning to bloom

“Fuck, my mom’s going to have a cow.”

“Don’t worry about that right now. We’ve got to get you to the nurse. Can you walk?” Richie asked.

Eddie looked up at him noticing how much he was trying to disguise the panic in his voice. He nodded.

Richie looked relieved. “Okay, good. I’m gonna help you up now.”

“Can you text Stan? Tell him what happened?”

“Sure, Eds,” Richie tried to smile.

Eddie stood up, careful not to jostle his arm and began to move towards the school. Richie pulled out his phone and texted Stan before grabbing Eddie’s backpack. It was slow going, and by the time they had reached the nurse’s office Richie found Stan waiting for them.

“Why weren’t you with him?”

Eddie looked at Richie to find him pissed.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Stan asked.

Eddie cut in interrupting any retort Richie was forming.

“Is the nurse in?”

Stan softened immediately. “Yeah.”

Eddie looked between Richie and Stan unsure of what to do.

“Go on in, Eds. I’ll tell Stan what happened and then come check on you,” Richie said.

Eddie nodded and went into the office.

“Jesus, do you have to be such an asshole?”

“Excuse me?” Richie asked.

Stan sighed. “Never mind. What happened?”

“Bowers’ gang cornered him by the West Entrance and began beating the shit out of him. That’s what happened.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck. Where were you? I thought you two were glued at the hip.”

“How was I supposed to know Eddie was coming in the West Entrance? He never does that. I thought his mom was keeping him home sick.”

“Well maybe you should have been there.”

“Really, Richie? You’re going to talk to me about being there? Seriously?”

“I’m sorry, Stan. I fucked up. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Go check on Eddie. I’ll find some excuses for first period. It probably won’t get us much but,” Stan shrugged.

Richie nodded. “Thanks, man. Sorry for losing it. I’ve just never been so angry.”

“I’m sorry too. Richie? Can I borrow your phone?”

“Why?”

“Left mine in my backpack. I just need to make a call. I’ll give it back to you in third period,” Stan said.

Richie nodded passing his phone over to Stan before going into the nurse’s office. Stan looked over to the floor where Eddie’s backpack sat. The zipper was broken. The straps were almost ripped from the backpack. Pens were scattered within the bag. There were crumpled papers, papers which Eddie normally tried so hard to keep pristine. In that moment Stan had never hated Henry so much. He had to do something. Stan’s hands began to shake and he found that he had to clench them in order to remain calm. He turned on Richie’s phone.

The other boy didn’t use a pass code so Stan was easily able to access Richie’s contacts. He pulled up Bill Denbrough and called him. The phone went to voicemail, which was no surprise as Bill was probably in class.

Stan tried again. And again and still no answer. He dialed the number one more time.

“J-j-jesus, R-r-rich. I w-w-was in class. What’s so d-d-d-desperate that you couldn’t just t-t-t-text me?” Bill’s voice echoed oddly, and if Stan had to guess he was probably in a bathroom.

“It’s Stan. Can you meet me at Al’s around 6 pm?”

“S-s-stan? Is everything alright?”

“Can you meet me?”

“Y-yeah. Sure. I’ll see you then.”

Stan hung up the phone breathing deeply. He knew what he had to do.

–

Eddie sat nervously on the table in the nurse’s office. The nurse had gone to get more supplies leaving him alone with Richie.

“I should have stopped them. I should have done something,” Richie said.

Eddie shrugged before wincing at the pain.

“You shouldn’t have faced them alone.”

Eddie didn’t respond.

“Eds? Say something.”

“I was all alone. An easy target.”

“Do you blame them?”

“Bowers?”

“Beverly and Stan. They should have protected you.”

“Richie, I don’t blame my friends for not being with me 24/7. I blame the people that did this to me.”

“I am kinda pissed that they weren’t there. That they couldn’t have prevented it.”

“That’s sweet, but I shouldn’t have need to be protected by some pack mentality.”

Richie looked thoughtful. “I’m sorry -”

“You don’t need to be.”

“No. I mean I’m sorry about eighth grade. When I cut you and Stan out of my life. It was a stupid thing to do. I just was starting to do poorly in algebra and my parents were putting more and more pressure on me to succeed. I started to feel like I couldn’t live up to their expectations. I wasn’t sleeping or eating, and I was anxious all the time. So I started smoking pot, and it helped. But then I started to let my school work slip, and my parents began ignoring me so I began to use more and more. It just made me feel better about myself. I don’t know. I felt bad when I saw you and Stan, like I let you guys down somehow. And the other guys I hung out with couldn’t believe that I was friends with you, they teased me about it. Eventually it became easier to not be friends. And I’m really fucking sorry.”

Eddie felt like he couldn’t breathe, and not because of the beating. “Oh.”

“Yeah, pretty shitty, huh?”

“And how do you feel about us now? Still think we’re losers?”

“I never said you were losers,” Richie said.

“You know it’s so easy for you to be pissed at Bev and Stan for not being there for me this morning but at least they have been there for me everyday since you left. Stan in particular. Do you know how hard it was on both of us to lose you as a friend? It sucked, Richie. It fucking sucked. We didn’t know what we did to make you leave, we tried talking to you but you brushed us off. Like you were better than us. Some pothead burnout who used to be our best friend who now thinks he’s too good for us.”

“I never thought I was too good for you.”

“Liar.”

“Eds-”

“Don’t call me that! You think you’re better than me and Stan because you have your skateboard, and you smoke pot, and you don’t do ballet like us fags.”

“Don’t say that about yourself, Eddie.”

“Why not? Everyone else does.”

“Look I apologized. I can’t take back what’s already happened. I just don’t want this to happen to you again.”

“Enough, Tozier. Can’t change the past.”

At that moment the nurse returned. “Alright, Mr. Tozier. You better get back to classes. Thank you for waiting here while I talked to the principal and got some ice packs.”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you, Eddie.”

“Bye, Richie.”

“Here’s some ice for the shoulder, your mom is on her way,” the nurse said.

Eddie nodded. He was too tired to protest. He knew his mother would drag him to the hospital and he would probably spend the rest of the day there being poked and prodded, and tested for injuries he most certainly did not have.

“You want to tell me what happened?”

Eddie shook his head.

“Well your boyfriend seems nice.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh, well I just assumed… I’m sorry, Eddie. He seems like a good friend.” The nurse said.

Eddie didn’t know what to say to that.

He didn’t have to wait long for his mother’s arrival. She was clearly upset by the situation and kept asking how he could be so careless, as if it was his fault.

“Eddie, I just don’t understand what happened,” his mother said as they were driving to the hospital.

“I told you, Patrick Hockstetter practically pulled my arm out of its socket.”

His mother clucked. “Well why did he do that?”

“Because I’m a loser.”

“Eddie!”

“I am mom. You have made me afraid of the world. It’s your fault that I won’t be able to dance anymore. That I won’t be able to do the one thing I love and -”

“Edward Kaspbrack. How dare you? I knew I shouldn’t let you hang out with Beverly Marsh. She is constantly disrespecting her parents, and it seems you’ve picked up the habit.”

“Her parents are terrible-”

“That’s enough out of you young man. You’re grounded. I won’t have you seeing your friends if they poison-”

“They don’t!”

“And Stanley Uris.”

“What about Stan?”

“I thought he would be a good influence, but apparently he’s been seen talking to some delinquents.”

“What?”

“Skaterboarders and potheads, that’s what Marsha told me.”

Stan wouldn’t. Was Stan talking to Richie behind Eddie’s back. He began gasping for air. His mother watched with satisfaction as he pulled out his inhaler.

“I think it would be for the best if you didn’t see Miss Marsh or Mr. Uris for the time being. Don’t you agree?”

Eddie’s hatred boiled up, and while he wanted to say something he didn’t have the power to.

They drove on in silence.

At the hospital a doctor x-rayed Eddie’s right shoulder and declared that it had been dislocated. He was lucky that nothing had been broken. They had also checked his abdomen. His mother insisted there might be internal bleeding, but there was nothing. Just some ugly bruising. He was prescribed some pain meds, and told to keep icing his shoulder to help the swelling go down. He left with his arm in a sling and his proverbial tail between his legs. He was his mother’s prisoner for the foreseeable future.

–

Eddie didn’t show up to any of his classes, and he definitely did not go to ballet. 

Stan couldn’t help but watch the clock. Six o’clock couldn’t come soon enough, but a part of him was dreading it. What was Bill going to think when he told him what had happened. Would he even want to go through with it? Stan was having second thoughts. It would have been so much easier if anyone else had asked him to do this. He didn’t trust Bill; maybe because of his lifestyle choices, or because he was wasting his opportunities at DP, or the fact that he didn’t even want Stan’s help with his plan. Stan wished he could do this with anyone else, but then he remembered how confused Eddie had looked at the nurse’s door. He remembered how kind Richie had been to Eddie, and he knew they needed each other. They needed each other, and they needed someone else to show the way. It had to be Stan, there was no other option – isn’t that what Bill said? Stan couldn’t back down.

He left ballet in more pain than yesterday. Every part of him was tired. By the time he got to Al’s it was 6:15 and there was no sign of Bill Denbrough. Stan got a booth and decided that he would wait until 6:30 at the latest. As the minutes ticked by Stan got angrier and angrier. This was so stupid.

By 6:29, Stan saw Bill darting up the steps and making his way to the back of the diner.

“S-s-sorry. I had to take m-my little brother home after practice, b-but he was running late.” Bill’s face was red from embarrassment.

“That’s alright.”

“W-what’s up? You sounded upset earlier. Is everything okay?”

Stan took a breath unsure where to begin. He was a bit unsettled by how intently Bill was looking at him. No one had ever looked at him like that before. He decided for the truth. “I want to go through with your plan.”

“W-w-what changed your m-mind?”

Stan told the story of how Eddie was beaten up, and how it was Richie who ended up being there for him. Throughout his narrative Bill’s look became more contemplative and determined. When he finished he hoped Bill would understand that he needed to do something.

“So what do you think?” Stan asked.

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Let’s d-d-do it.”

“Great-”

“We can’t discuss it here,” Bill said.

“What?” Was Bill ashamed to be seen with him? That boded well for their fake relationship.

“I mean there are too many people here for us to go over the logistics without being overheard. We should talk about this somewhere else.”

“Where?” Stan asked.

Bill smiled. “Do you trust m-me?”

“Guess I have no choice.”

Bill’s smile grew. He led them outside and instead of turning towards Main Street he veered off to the side of the lot where a large fence was. He jumped it, disappearing into foliage below.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Stan said as he found himself copying Bill’s motions. “Where are you taking me?”

“Welcome to the B-b-barrens. I used to play here as a child,” Bill said. “Mike, Ben and I once flooded the place out when we tried to build a d-dam.”

“Charming.”

“It was. N-now come this w-way, I think I still remember where our clubhouse w-w-was.” Bill said.

He led Stan further and further into the Barrens until they came across a small clearing. Bill began shuffling his feet across the ground until he seemed to kick something. He bent down to clear away the leaves and revealed a door. He pulled it up and Stan saw a pit in the earth. The soil was held back by boards of scrap wood. There were posts which kept the ground from caving in. Strung from two of the posts was an old hammock. Forgotten candles sat in busted up lanterns on other posts. It was surprisingly large, and homey.

Bill climbed down the ladder, lighting some of the candles as he went. “A-aren’t you coming d-d-down?”

Stan did so. He wasn’t fond of the dark, cold spaces, but being here with Bill was surprisingly nice. “Did you build this?”

“Ben was the m-m-master architect. Mikey and I just d-d-did as he said.” Bill looked around the space fondly.

“Why is it so big?”

“W-we wanted it to be big in case we m-made more friends.” There was a sad look on Bill’s face. He wouldn’t quite meet Stan’s eye.

“Oh. And we’re good to talk here?”

“I’m sure Ben and Mike have f-forgotten about this place. So long as you don’t m-m-mind spiders we won’t be d-d-disturbed,” Bill said.

“Oh.”

“So you really w-w-w-want to do this?”

“Yes. But I think we need some ground rules.”

“G-g-ground rules? Like w-w-what?”

“Well for physical contact,” Stan said.

Bill just stared at him.

“I just don’t want us to go too far and make the other uncomfortable,” Stan said. “It’s about consent.”

“I won’t j-j-jump you, I promise,” Bill said.

“You’re laughing at me.”

“No.”

“You are. You think I’m dumb for wanting to respect boundaries and -”

“Stan, I do not care w-what we need to d-do in order for people to believe we’re d-d-dating.”

“Yeah? Well maybe I do.” Did he really just say that?

“Oh.”

Stan needed Bill to stop looking at him. He looked down at the packed dirt beneath the crate he had been sitting on.

“Okay. W-what are you comfortable with?”

Stan shrugged. “Forget I said anything.”

“Stan, if this m-m-matters to you then it matters to m-me.” Bill said. “H-holding hands?”

“Fine.”

“H-hugging?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, you suggest something.”

Stan struggled to think of something couples do that had not already been listed and that was not kissing. “Lap sitting.”

Stan felt there was no harm in saying it as there was no universe where there would ever be a time Stan would actually need to sit on Bill’s lap.

Bill swallowed before licking his lips. “F-fine. Peck on the cheek?”

Stan found himself nodding.

“Anything b-but kissing, huh?” Bill said.

“Anything but kissing.”

“W-w-we should have a safe word. In case one of us c-crosses a line,” Bill said.

“Darling… It’ll sound normal to everyone else, but we’ll know what it means.”

Bill smiled. “Yeah that could w-work.”

“Great.”

“And no more offering to pay me.” Stan said.

Bill looked embarrassed. “Sorry about that. B-but this is big, it doesn’t seem f-f-f-fair that you’re g-g-going along with it all just because I asked you to.”

“When has life in Derry ever been fair?”

“I want to give you something in return.”

“Don’t. If it works that’s enough.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. So when do we tell our friends?” Stan asked desperate to move on.

“That we’re d-d-dating?”

“That this is fake.”

“We can’t.”

“What?”

“You know how D-derry is. If anyone knows this isn’t real then it’s not long until b-b-both our schools know which d-d-defeats the p-p-purpose. We c-can’t tell anyone. Not even our f-families.”

“Oh.”

“You still in?” Bill asked.

Stan thought back to Eddie. He would do anything to stop him from looking the way he did today. “Yeah.”

“We n-need to find a story for how w-w-we met.”

“We tell the truth.”

“Which is?” Bill’s eyes were searching Stan’s own.

“We met at the lacrosse game.”

Bill looked away. “Right.”

“Unless you have a better idea?”

“T-that’s f-f-fine.”

Stan nodded. “I think you asked me out after the game, and we’ve been seeing each other since then. Hardly a lie.”

Bill nodded.

“And once they get together in a few weeks we can go back to not knowing each other.” Stan said.

“W-when I suggested this plan I think I m-m-mentioned prom, right?”

“Oh, yeah. But they’re so close to getting together that’s not really necessary is it?” Stan asked, panic beginning to return.

“You know it is. If we break things off b-before they’re comfortable w-w-with one another it might discourage their relationship and then all the h-h-hate will be t-t-targeted back on them. We have to go until p-p-prom.”

“Bill, prom is two months from now.”

“I know.”

“You’re going to lie to your friends and family for two months? You’re going to lie to Georgie for two months?” Stan tried to push down the panic, but instead his voice was becoming more and more hysteric.

Bill gritted his teeth. “I’m not h-happy about it but-”

“Are you even gay?”

Bill stared at Stan and he regretted even saying it.

“N-no. I mean I – no.”

“I see. Why is this so important to you?”

“B-because Richie is my b-b-best friend and I can’t w-w-watch him like this anymore. He’s w-w-worried about Eddie, but he’s too afraid to do anything. This town is killing him. And from what you’ve told me, it’s killing Eddie too. Don’t they deserve this?”

“And you really think us dating will change things.”

“It has to.”

“Alright. I believe you.”

In the fading light Bill almost looked like he was blushing. He cleared his throat, “we’ll plan some fake d-d-dates. And we might need a few m-more meetings like this...I could pick you up from b-ballet and we could talk then?”

“We can go to your brother’s lacrosse games, if you want.”

Bill smiled. “I’d like that.”

“Okay, good.”

Bill checked his watch. “W-we should probably head back now it’s g-getting late.”

Stan looked at his own watch. “Fuck. My parents are going to kill me.”

Bill began blowing out the candles, and the place quickly reverted to its eerie countenance. They hurried out of the clubhouse. Bill carefully re-covered the door with leaves. They headed back to Al’s Diner.

“I can d-drive you home,” Bill offered.

Stan nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

Bill smiled. He led the way to an old SUV, not what Stan had been expecting for a DP boy. The inside of the car smelled of weed. As Bill started it Stan heard the cheerful chimes of Buddy Holly’s “Everyday”.

Stan raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“It’s a g-g-guilty pleasure. I can switch to the r-radio if you’d prefer.”

“Leave it. I like it.” There was something hopeful about the song, like it might bring them good luck on the whole endeavor.

Bill smiled. He began tapping out the rhythm on the steering wheel as he drove. He put down the windows, and the sweet clean air filled Stan’s lungs. When Bill dropped Stan off out at his house he gave him his number.

“So you don’t have to steal Richie’s phone every time you want to talk to me.”

“Thanks for the ride. For doing this.”

Bill nodded as Stan got out of the car.

Maybe this could work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is a bit crazy right now, but writing this is a form of escapism and a way to continue creating art. It may seem silly, but it matters. Thank you all for your continued support, please leave a comment telling me your thoughts and predictions! I love to read what you have to say. JSYK I hope to have another update by the end of this week.  
> Yrs,  
> TWoW


	4. Chapter 4

Their first fake date was scheduled for Saturday morning. Bill said he knew a cute diner outside of Derry’s city limits that they could check out. It was a good lie as it was unlikely any of their classmates would drive so far out of town just for breakfast. Besides Stan wasn’t too worried. After Eddie’s injury his mother was keeping him on lock down, and Beverly was busy with Ben. He figured he would spend the morning bird watching at the quarry because it was still too cold and early for people to be out. It was the perfect hiding place.

Stan packed up his supplies: binoculars, bird guidebook, a journal, some snacks, as well as a small blanket to sit on. He had told his parents he was leaving the house and as he was opening the door he came face to face with Bill, hand raised about to knock.

“What are you doing here?”

“My b-b-brother found out about our d-date and he didn’t want me to be late so he kind of hurried me out of the house.”

“And you decided to come here?” Stan shut the door behind him. He could not believe they were having this conversation. What would his parents think if they found Bill on their steps? He hadn’t even told them that he was seeing anyone let alone a Derry Prep boy.

“W-w-w-well-”

“Don’t you have the capability to drive elsewhere? Your brother doesn’t have to know that I’m not with you.”

“Um. He’s actually in the c-c-car. He w-w-wanted to meet you before w-we went out. Like officially.”

“What?”

“I w-w-was trying to tell you b-b-before you interrupted me.”

Stan tried to relax. What was Georgie going to think if he saw their entire interaction? Steeling himself he turned and took Bill’s hand before going to the car. He tried to ignore how reassuring the pressure of Bill’s hand was in his.

In the passenger seat sat Georgie Denbrough. He was staring intently at his phone until Bill knocked on the window. Georgie jumped before getting out of the car.

“Sorry. I wanted to give you a moment to yourselves. George Denbrough.” He held his hand out.

Stan let go of Bill’s and shook Georgie’s. “Stan. We met briefly at Al’s.”

“My brother’s told me a lot about you.”

“Georgie,” Bill warned.

“He really likes you.”

“Is that so?”

“Hasn’t stopped talking about you for a whole week now.” Georgie said.

“Oh?” Stan was perplexed. A week? He hadn’t known Bill for a week. He had only learned his name last Thursday.

“Georgie, stop.”

“Sorry, Billy. Can’t help but embarrass you a little.” Georgie turned to Stan. “It’s been awhile since he’s shown interest in anyone. You must be something special.”

“Thank you?”

“Don’t break his heart, okay? I mean I don’t think you will. It’s just obligatory brother stuff, ya know?”

Stan nodded feeling a little overwhelmed.

“Alright, Georgie. We better head out,” Bill said.

Georgie said goodbye before heading down the sidewalk back towards home.

“I’m sorry about him.” Bill said once they were in the car.

“Don’t be. He’s very sweet.”

“M-m-more like enthusiastic. Can I d-ddrop you off wherever you w-w-were going? I might as well seeing as I interrupted y-y-your morning.”

“Sure. I was going to the quarry.”

If Bill was surprised he didn’t say anything. As they drove in silence Stan began to worry about just how perceptive Georgie might be. Was he going to know that this was all fake? Stan’s thoughts began to run a mile a minute – 

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Bill asked.

Stan turned to him in surprise. He hadn’t expected that Bill would pick up on his anxiousness.

“Is Georgie going to know if we don’t actually go out on a date?”

Bill shrugged. “Probably n-not.”

“Okay then.” Stan couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt disappointed.

“W-what are you g-g-going to the quarry for?” Bill asked.

“Bird watching.”

Bill looked at him with a small smile.

Stan glared at him. “What?’

“N-n-nothing, it’s really c-cool t-that you b-b-birdwatch.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Never.”

Stan frowned. He had trouble reading Bill. Sometimes he seemed like a stereotypical douchebag, but other times he showed surprising kindness and depth. Stan wasn’t sure which was the real Bill Denbrough.

“S-sorry. It j-j-just surprised me is all,” Bill said. “You surprise m-me.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Y-yeah.”

Stan wasn’t so sure. As boyfriends shouldn’t they know more about each other? But then again he wasn’t sure that he wanted to get close to Bill. Because if he did then Bill would want to get to know Stan more, and there was no way he could be vulnerable in front of Bill. Besides it would be better if they remained professional about this, clinical even – 

“Do you want to join me?” Stan couldn’t believe he had just said that.

“R-really?”

“Um yeah. If we’re going to do this we should learn the basics.”

“Okay.”

They arrived at the quarry and Stan led the way to a clearing right at the edge. Below them the water glittered in the early morning light. Bill helped him spread out the blanket and Stan set out his books and binoculars with scientific precision.

Stan began looking to the skies trying to spot some swallows he had seen here. He wasn’t entirely sure of their markings and wanted to determine whether they were simply bank swallows or the rarer northern rough-winged swallows.

“Okay, so w-what do you w-w-want to know?”

Stan set the binoculars down and studied Bill. “Tell me about your family.”

Bill grimaced. “It’s just mom, d-d-dad, me, and G-g-georgie. M-m-my parents adored us, b-b-but after G-g-g-georgie went missing when he w-w-was younger they never really looked at me the same. It was m-my fault. I was supposed to be w-w-watching him, b-but he wandered off and w-w-was missing for three days. He g-g-got turned around and followed the tracks practically to C-c-castle Rock. They said it was a m-m-miracle that he w-w-wasn’t hit by a train. Now it’s like I’m a ghost in my own home.”

“Is that when you started smoking pot?”

“No. I didn’t start until my ex and I started d-d-dating. We met at a party freshman year and she thought it would help with my stutter. She liked m-me when I was high, b-but she couldn’t stand my friends. Thought she was too g-good for them. Looking b-back I don’t think she liked me all that m-much.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Stan paused thinking about what he wanted to ask next. “Why do you like skateboarding?”

“It’s like flying. There’s nothing like it, and when you go fast enough it feels like you could beat the devil. It reminds me that I’m alive.”

Stan was staring at Bill’s lips. There was something intoxicating in his words, and Stan felt like he needed to know he was alive. He had trouble swallowing, trouble forming his words. He felt young and inexperienced. He didn’t know how to ask Bill… how to tell him that maybe he had been wrong when they made their conditions, because in this instant he felt something akin to desire.

“W-what else do you want to know?” Bill asked a smirk on his lips.

Stan realized how dry his mouth was, his hands curled up into fists. He couldn’t bring himself to ask Bill to break their contract. So instead he asked, “will you teach me?”

“What do you w-w-want to learn?”

“To skateboard.” Stan couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

But Bill smiled. “Yeah. I can t-t-teach you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

In that moment all that could be heard were the birds. Stan shifted uncomfortably under the heaviness of the moment. He began paging through his guidebook in order to have something to do with his hands.

“What do you want from life?”

“I w-w-want to get out of Derry. Keep w-w-writing until I want to make something of myself.”

“What kind of stories do you write?”

“Horror.”

“Why?”

“I feel a lot guilt for what happened to G-georgie. I suppose writing is a f-f-form of escapism.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Stan began to search the skies again. So much for keeping things clinical.

“W-what about you?”

Stan set the binoculars down once more and saw Bill’s long fingers toying with a joint. “What about me?”

“Tell m-m-me about yourself.”

“I am unknowable and therefore unlovable.”

“That’s n-n-not true.”

“What could you know about me?”

“I w-w-want to get to know you.”

“Why? It’s not like we’re even going to be friends after this. We’ll go back to being strangers.”

“W-w-we don’t have t-t-to.”

“It would be better.”

“Why?” Bill asked.

“Because we’re two entirely different people. We don’t go to the same school, or have the same friends, or even like the same things. It isn’t practical for us to like each other. All this is is a job. We shouldn’t get too attached.”

“You w-w-wanted to get to know me. You asked for the b-b-basics.”

“Well maybe I was wrong.”

“Stan.”

Stan looked up at Bill. “What?”

“What are you so afraid of?”

“If you get to know me you’ll realize that you were right. That you shouldn’t have asked me to do this.” The words came unbidden from Stan’s lips. It seemed that Bill had that effect on Stan.

“W-w-what?”

“‘Trust me, I didn’t want it to be you.’ Your words, remember?”

Bill began fiddling with the joint. “That’s n-n-n-not w-w-what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I can’t...”

“Why not?”

“I j-just can’t, Stan. I’m sorry.”

All the fight left Stan. For some reason he believed Bill. “Yeah. Alright.”

He returned his attention to the sky. He could see some swallows flying above the lake, but the sun was making them dark spots. It was impossible to get a good look at their coloring. He heard the click of a lighter, and he knew that Bill had lit his joint.

He set the binoculars down ready to reprimand the other boy, only to find that Bill was stretched out in the sunlight like a young god in repose. For the first time all morning he looked calm. His eyes were closed, but upon feeling Stan’s stare he opened them. Blue eyes met brown. Bill adjusted himself so he was lying on his side, his head resting lazily on his arm.

“Would you like a hit?”

“I’ve never-”

“I can teach you, if you’d like?”

Stan was hit with a feeling of deja vu. When he had found Eddie at Mike’s party he had been relieved at first, then shocked and hurt to see Richie. He had barely noticed Bill. But of course it had been Bill. He just hadn’t known his name at the time. Was that what Georgie had been referring to? It must be, but then why –

“Stan?” Bill sounded concerned.

“You gave Eddie a hit that night at the party.”

“Y-yeah?”

“But you did something else too,” Stan said.

“Shotgunning.” Bill said softly.

“Yeah.”

“D-d-d-do you want to try that?”

Bill looked as nervous as Stan felt. He could feel his mouth go dry so instead of speaking he just nodded.

“Okay, come here.”

Stan lay on his side, a careful distance from Bill.

“When I exhale you inhale.” 

Bill leaned in. With surprising gentleness he placed his hand on Stan’s shoulder drawing him closer. He inhaled deeply before breathing it out in Stan’s mouth. Stan tasted dry ash, but more than that he noticed the scent of Bill’s cologne. He was surrounded by the clean, warm smell that was so entirely Bill. Heat stirred in his gut, but before he could think more on it Bill removed his hand.

“You know if anyone is going to believe we’re dating you’re going to have to be okay touching me.”

“Huh?” Bill looked startled.

“Here.”

Stan reached out and grabbed Bill’s hand. Gently he guided it to his neck. He felt Bill’s fingers thread through his hair and found himself relaxing into the touch. Tentatively he let go of Bill’s hand. Bill moved away. Stan tried to hide his frustration. So much for that idea. He rolled over and sat up.

“I’m sorry.”

Stan snorted.

Bill took another drag of his joint. They sat in silence. Bill was sleepily sunning himself as Stan continued his search. However, once the joint was gone Bill turned his attention back to Stan.

“You never told me about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?”

“You willing to share now?”

Stan sighed. “Seeing as you’re not going to stop asking, yes.”

“What’s your family like?”

“Mom and Dad are great. They put a lot of pressure on me, but I know that’s because they want better for me. Mom was the one that got me started dancing. Dad was against it at first, but she wore him down.”

“How long have you been dancing?”

“Since I was three.”

Bill whistled. “I can’t imagine doing anything for that long. Are you any good?”

“Yes.”

Stan didn’t mean to come off as arrogant, but he knew he was good. He wouldn’t still be in the program if he wasn’t. He wouldn’t dedicate so much of his time, or put up with all the harassment, if it wasn’t a way for him to get out of Derry. Ballet was his own form of escapism. He told Bill as much.

Bill smiled. “Guess that’s something we have in common.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

Things became easier after that. The tension of the morning faded as the sun climbed higher. Eventually they decided to go get some food as Bill hadn’t had the chance to have breakfast yet. They packed up their things and headed back to where Bill had left the SUV.

They drove to the diner out of town, to ensure that they didn’t run into Georgie or any of his friends. Talk between them was a lot more casual, almost friendly.

“I’m g-g-going to tell Richie about us,” Bill said.

“Okay.”

“So be prepared to be invited to a lot more h-house parties.”

Stan groaned.

“They’re not so b-bad you know. If you go w-w-with the right people.”

“We have to go?”

“We should probably m-make a few joint appearances, but don’t worry. I’ll make sure you have f-f-fun.”

Stan tried not to think too much about what that might mean.

“G-guess that m-m-means we’re really doing this.”

“Guess it does.”

Stan turned and looked at Bill in profile. He didn’t know what to say, but already he began to feel a little better about their plan. Maybe Bill wasn’t as bad as he initially thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So begins the long road to friendship, but let me tell you from here on out things get way more intimate! Leave your predictions below! I love to hear from y'all. Thanks for reading, new chapter coming soon!  
> Yrs.  
> TheWeaverofWorlds


	5. Chapter 5

Eddie, Beverly and Stan had taken to eating lunch in the school library.They decided to move their meal to some place more private as it was the only time that Eddie was able to see his friends. They were in their usual spots: Beverly perched on the window sill, Eddie and Stan sharing the desk when Stan cleared his throat. He looked nervous.

“I’m dating someone.”

Eddie felt his appetite desert him. “What?”

“Who?”

“Um, Bill Denbrough.”

“Richie’s friend?” Eddie couldn’t believe his ears. Beverly looked rapturous.

Stan nodded.

“You’re dating a DP boy?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god, Stan! We can go on double dates.” Beverly said.

“Um-” Somehow Stan looked even more uncomfortable.

“I’m so excited. I never thought one of you guys would be dating in Derry,” Beverly said.

“Yeah you and me both.”

“Oh come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that. Derry boys are the worst. Present company and Ben excluded of course. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be out in Derry.”

Eddie and Stan shared a look. Eddie didn’t know any other LGBTQ kids in Derry other than Stan, and now Bill apparently. A lot of people had assumed they were dating, even though neither had officially come out. They had been teased relentlessly since they were little, even by the other dancers. 

Stan murmured something about how he and Bill were keeping it private for now, but Eddie wasn’t listening. Eddie wasn’t jealous. He didn’t even like Bill, but when he thought about the night they’d met he had felt something. Eddie thought of Bill’s lips so close to his own, the lingering scent of cologne, and the hurt in Richie’s eyes. He hadn’t been able to define the emotion then, but now he knew it was hurt. And he felt remorse. How had he been so blind? While Eddie was thrilled for Stan, he also felt abandoned by his two best friends. Alone.

“I can’t believe you’re dating Bill Denbrough,” Eddie said.

“I can’t either.”

There was something different about Stan. Despite his obvious nerves, he was glowing in his admittance of dating Denbrough. This was the softer side of Stan. The vulnerable side. Eddie had never seen him like this before.

“Tell me how you met. What did he say?” Beverly asked.

Stan blushed. “We met at the lacrosse game. His brother’s on the JV team and they like to watch the games together. When I was walking around during halftime he came up and asked me to go to Al’s after the game.”

“That was all he said?”

Stan’s coloring darkened. “Um. He said that he thought I was cute or whatever.”

Beverly laughed. “You are cute!”

“Right. So I went to Al’s and we talked…”

“About what?”

“About art. About how we both want to escape.”

“How long have you liked him?” Eddie asked unwilling to add and why did you never tell me.

Stan blushed. “Not long. I guess since we started talking.”

“And you don’t mind that he smokes?”

“No, um yesterday we actually smoked together.”

“What?”

Stan buried his head in his arms.

“Stanley Uris, what have you done to my best friend?” Bev asked.

“You must really like him,” Eddie said.

“Of course I do.”

“It’s just so sudden. He’s so different from you, his tastes and hobbies…”

“Like Richie’s so different.” Stan said.

“Yeah, actually. He is.”

“Richie smokes and skateboards too. He’s just as much a burnout as Bill if not more so.”

“Stan,” Beverly cautioned.

“The only difference is Bill is going to make something of himself and Richie isn’t.”

“Take that back.” Eddie said.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, it’s the truth.”

“It is not.”

“Why do you even still like him?”

“He was our best friend, Stan. How can you be so heartless?”

Stan’s face darkened.

“You only like Bill because he’s giving you attention.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh yeah? Then what do you actually like about him?”

“Despite what people might think about when Georgie went missing, Bill’s a great brother. He is thoughtful, and intelligent. He cares about his friends. He hates his stutter, but I adore it. I’ve never felt this way before. Like it hurts when we’re apart. And I’m sorry that you and Richie aren’t together. And I’m sorry about what I said about him, but what he did was shitty. And you know it and yet you still love him.”

Eddie felt tears burn at his eyes. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Bill can’t hurt me.”

Beverly looked between the two of them. All the fire left Stan.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I fucked up.”

Eddie nodded, wondering if he would ever be able to confess his feelings for Richie like Stan had for Bill.

–

Stan felt terrible. He had never lied to Eddie like that. He hadn’t even known half the things he was saying about Bill, he had just word vomitted anything he could think of. He regretted what he had said about Richie. He hadn’t meant it.

The rest of lunch was eaten in an uncomfortable silence.

–

After classes, as Stan was packing his things to go to ballet, Richie stopped by his locker.

“Hey.”

“Hi?”

“So you and Big Bill are a thing now?” Richie asked.

“Yes we are.”

“I didn’t even know that you two knew each other.”

“We just met –”

“At the party.” 

Stan was surprised. “Um, no actually. We met at a lacrosse game.”

Richie laughed.

“What?”

“Well I mean sure Big Bill asked you out at the lacrosse game, but he saw you first at Mike’s party. He asked about you after you came to collect Eds.”

Stan felt the blood rushing to his face.

“Guess you didn’t know,” Richie said. “Look it’s my duty as best friend to tell you not to hurt him.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “You’re a little late. George already gave that speech.”

“Fair enough. But as this is Derry, and Bill isn’t here I am also supposed to watch out for you.”

“That’s not necessary –”

“Stan. I have to. Bill would kill me if I let anything happen to you.”

“He asked you to look out for me?”

“Of course, Staniel, he cares about you.”

Stan couldn’t help but smile at Bill’s devious plan. “Alright. How about you join Eddie, Beverly, and me for lunch tomorrow? We meet in the library.”

“Um, I’m not sure that’s such a great idea.”

“Why? You worried what your pothead friends are going to think if you start hanging out with us?” Stan asked. Richie could never refuse a challenge.

“No. It’s just, Eds.”

Stan softened, he understood. “Okay, Rich. You don’t have to join us.”

“I’m sorry. I can walk you to ballet though.”

“Yeah?”

Richie nodded looking pleased.

“Okay.” Stan said sending a text to Bev telling her not to wait for him.

Richie smiled and together they started off towards the Ukrainian Club. Once they were outside, Richie dropped his skateboard and began to cruise leisurely as Stan walked.

“When did you learn that?” Stan asked.

“Freshman year.”

“Is that how you met Bill?”

“Yeah, we met at the skate park. Ended up getting high and telling each other all our shit. We’ve been close ever since.” Richie came to an abrupt stop and turned to Stan. “I want to apologize.”

“What?”

“Look it wouldn’t be right if I started hanging around you like everything is cool. You deserve better than that. So I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being a massive dick, and that if you want to punch me or something you’re totally within your rights.”

“I’m not going to punch you, Richie.”

“You’re not?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Look what you did was shitty, but we all lose friendships. That’s what growing up is. Are your parents still friends with their middle school best friends?”

“No.”

“Exactly. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not. I hurt you and Eddie, and it was just because I didn’t know how to handle my own shit. Can’t you let me try to make it up to you?”

Stan looked Richie over. He had changed so much since they were best friends. He had grown more gangly, and his hair was somehow wilder. His eyes were still ridiculously magnified by coke bottle glasses, and he still had his shitty sense of humor. He was their Richie. And it appeared that he had done some growing up.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“All the shitty things I’ve said about you over the years.”

“I probably deserved them. So we’re cool?”

“We’re cool.”

“Dope.” Richie said beginning to ride his skateboard again.

“You know it really sucked when you left, but it was even worse for Eddie.”

Richie faltered.

“Have you apologized to him?”

“Yes, but it didn’t go well.” 

“Give him time. He’ll come around.”

“But –”

“He always came around when it had to do with you.”

Richie blinked owlishly from behind his glasses.

“C’mon. I’m going to be late.”

Stan began walking down the street toward the Ukrainian Club, leaving Richie no choice but to follow. They said their good byes and Stan darted up the stairs to the second floor. He changed and made it into the studio just on time. He went over to the barre, where Beverly was waiting for him.

“What kept you?” Beverly asked.

“Richie insisted on walking me here.”

“What?”

“Bill asked him to look out for me.”

Beverly smirked. “He’s got it bad for you.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure.”

Beverly looked like she was about to ask him what that meant, but luckily the ballet master entered and class started. Stan realized that if he wanted to keep up the pretense he was going to need to be more careful. Especially when his friends could read him like an open book.

Bev seemed to forget all about it by the end of class. As they were walking out of the building, Bill pulled up in his old SUV. She ran straight up to the passenger side window and tapped on it. Bill rolled the window down with an easy smile.

“So you’re the infamous Bill Denbrough.”

“You must be B-b-beverly.”

Beverly smiled. “You better treat Stan right. If not I’m not afraid to beat your ass, Denbrough.”

Bill laughed. “Yes ma’am. Can I g-g-give you a ride anywhere?”

“No thank you. I wouldn’t want to interrupt anything.”

“Alright t-t-then. Nice m-m-meeting you.”

“Bye, boys. Have fun.”

Stan was mortified. He loved his friends, but why could they never act normal when it came to Bill?

“H-how was your d-day?” Bill asked once Stan had gotten in.

“Eddie and I got into a fight.”

“About w-w-what?”

“You. He thinks I’m just with you because I like the attention. I said some really hurtful things.”

“W-w-will you two be okay?”

“I apologized. I just hope everything is alright.”

“I’m sure he’ll f-f-forgive you.”

Stan nodded. He didn’t have the heart to disagree.

“Good thinking asking Richie to start looking out for me.”

“Of c-c-course. Can’t have anything happen to you.”

“It’s a good cover to get him and Eddie to start hanging out more.”

“R-r-right.” 

Something sounded off in Bill’s voice. Before Stan could ask about it they had arrived at his home. Bill looked strangely relieved.

“Thanks for the ride.”

“S-s-sure.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

Stan wasn’t sure what had just happened, but he didn’t dare prolong the conversation. Already he sensed that the was being watched from behind lace curtains. He grabbed his things and hurried up the front walk. He entered his house to find his mother waiting for him.

“Who was that that drove you?”

“Just a friend.”

“Eddie and Beverly don’t own cars.”

“I have other friends.”

His mom looked at him.

“He goes to Derry Prep. We met at the library.”

His mother nodded. “Alright then.”

“I have to go get started on my homework.”

“Alright, Stanley. You know you can tell me anything, right honey?”

“Yeah, mom. I know.”

“Supper will be ready in an hour.”

Stan thanked her before going to his room. He might be able to tell her anything, but she would certainly tell his father, and that was just not something he could deal with right now.

Stan found he had trouble falling asleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your constant support. I adore it so much!! Please continue to leave comments and let me know your thoughts. Originally a lot more was going to happen in this chapter, but it started getting longer and busier so I decided to split it in half. I promise you the next chapter Eddie and Richie are going to start getting closer, and Stan and Bill are going to have to see how good of actors they can be. I should have it up this weekend. I look forward to hearing any predictions you may have!  
> Yrs.  
> TWoW


	6. Chapter 6

Before homeroom the next day, Eddie caught hold of Stan’s sleeve.

“Hey, I’m sorry about yesterday. I was just surprised about you and Bill.”

Stan relaxed at Eddie’s words. “You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t have said what I said about Richie.”

Eddie shifted his weight. “So we’re good?”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Eddie, you’re my best friend. We’ll always be good.”

Relief surged through Eddie’s veins. He hadn’t quite realized how worried he had been about losing both Bev and Stan to their significant others, but seeing Stan’s smile Eddie knew he meant what he said. The bell rang and both boys hurried to homeroom anxious not to be caught alone in the halls.

–

At lunch Eddie was commenting about the dark circles under Stan’s eyes and the dangers of too little sleep when Beverly and Stan both stiffened. Forgetting his diatribe, Eddie looked up to find Richie standing just beyond their circle. To Eddie’s surprise Stan smiled.

“Hi Richie.”

Eddie, the boy who could speak a mile a minute, had seemingly forgotten all his words. Instead he merely gaped at Richie.

“Hey, Spaghetti Man.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Aw, but you’re so cute when you pout.”

“Why are you here?”

“Stan invited me.”

“Stan?” The feeling of panic returned as Eddie looked at his best friend. Maybe his mother hadn’t been lying, maybe Stan had been talking to Richie. The voice of reason, which sounded an awful lot like Stan, remarked that it made sense since Stan was dating Bill, and Bill and Richie were best friends. Nonetheless, Eddie reached for his inhaler.

“Bill thought it would be a good idea if Richie looked out for me, so I invited him to join us for lunch.” Real Stan said.

“Oh...”

“I can leave if you’d prefer.”

“No! I mean, you’re fine.”

Richie smirked. “If you say so.”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I hope our conversations will be on par with the usual company you keep,” Beverly said, baiting him.

Eddie looked nervously between the two most explosive people he knew. 

“The stoners don’t usually have a lot to offer. Your top competition is Big Bill, and I don’t know anyone who can keep up with him. His tongue stutters, but his brain doesn’t. Dude’s got depth.”

“I bet Stan could.” Beverly said.

Everyone turned to Stan.

“Yeah, I bet Stan could too,” Richie said.

Stan flushed and looked away.

Richie had passed the test.

What followed wasn’t their normal lunch conversation. It took awhile getting used to a fourth person, but once they did it was like Richie had always been there.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

“Ugh, I gotta go.” Eddie said. His class was all the way on the third floor, and he was going to have to book it if he wanted to make it on time.

Richie scrambled to his feet. “Let me walk with you.”

“What?”

“C’mon, Spagheds, just like old times.”

Eddie’s heart fluttered. “Okay. Are you coming, Bev?”

“You go on ahead, Eddie. I need to talk to Stan about something.”

Eddie nodded. He and Richie left the library together.

“How’s the shoulder feeling?”

“Not great. I have some pain meds which help, but I miss dancing.”

“How long until you can go back?”

“A couple weeks at least, but knowing my mom it my be a month or more.”

“Stan said you’re grounded.”

“Yeah.”

“Well we’ll just have to sneak you out.”

“What?”

“Some friends are headed to the quarry tonight. You should come.”

“It’s a Tuesday!”

“So? We’re young. We can have fun.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, Eddie. I bet I can talk Bill into inviting Stan. Maybe even Bev and Ben will want to come. Think about it okay?”

“Okay.”

They had reached his classroom and they said their goodbyes. Eddie watched as the bell rang and Richie began to book it to the stair well, his long limbs flailing spectacularly. Eddie figured he must have forgotten something.

–

Stan looked up and found a panting Richie running into the classroom. 

“You’re late, Tozier.” The teacher said.

“Sorry, Mr. Ambrose.”

Mr. Ambrose huffed, “take a seat.”

Richie slid into his seat before winking at Stan. 

Stan checked his watch. Richie was only two minutes late. Not bad for having to run from the third floor to the first. As the lesson droned on a note landed on Stan’s desk. Carefully he opened it. He recognized Richie’s scrawl.

Quarry. Tonight @ 9. Bring Eds. Bill will b there.

Stan looked over at Richie to see him giving a thumbs up. He shook his head. 

Once class was over Richie chased after him in the hall.

“Are you going to come?”

“Richie, I don’t know...”

“Eddie won’t come if you’re not there. Please?”

Stan stopped in the hall. Of all the things Richie could have said he hadn’t expected that. And as much as he wanted to say no he had to remember why he and Bill had started this whole thing in the first place. Stan sighed. “Fine.”

Richie lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll come.”

“You just want to suck face with Denbrough.”

“Beep beep, Richie.”

Richie laughed, “I haven’t heard that in literal years.”

“Glad to see it still stops you.”

Richie slung his arm around Stan’s shoulders. “You’re a pal.”

Stan extricated himself from Richie. “Whatever, Richie. I’ll see you later.”

Richie waved him off.

–

At the end of school, Stan hurried to find Eddie. He couldn’t believe that he was doing this.

“Eddie, wait up!” Stan jogged to catch up with his friend.

“What is it, Stan? My mom’s waiting for me.”

“You have to come out to the quarry tonight.”

“Are you kidding –”

“Please?”

“Why? I don’t want to third wheel you and Bill.”

“You won’t be.”

“C’mon, Stan. I know the look you have in your eye when you talk about him. With my luck you two will be curled together making out.”

“Bill and I haven’t even kissed yet. C’mon, Eddie. Please? Richie will be there. It’ll be fun. We can even invite Bev and Ben.”

“I’m not sure.”

“Eddie, live a little.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Stan wasn’t about to back down. This was the whole reason he and Bill were doing what they were doing. “We never get to see you anymore, and despite what your mother thinks you are not her prisoner. So are you in?”

“Fine, but you better get Bev to come too.”

Stan hugged Eddie, careful of his shoulder. “I will. Thanks, Eddie, I owe you.”

Eddie smiled and headed out to where his mother was waiting in the car.

Stan began walking towards the Ukrainian Club. It didn’t take long for Richie to catch up with him.

“Is he going to come?”

“Yeah, Rich. He’ll be there.”

Richie visibly relaxed. “Okay, cool.”

Suddenly from their left came the sound of a horn honking. They turned to see that Belch had pulled up along side them.

“Hey fags, going on a date?”

“Fuck off, Bowers,” Richie said.

“Trashmouth thinks he can talk back? Finally growing a pair, huh?”

Stan put a hand on Richie’s wrist, “don’t bother.”

“You’re a cockslut, Uris. Whoring yourself out to all the boys for attention. You’re no better than Beaverly. But hey, I wouldn’t put my dick in Trashmouth’s mouth, not with the sort of filth he spews.”

Bowers’ friends laughed.

Belch revved the engine and left them in a cloud of exhaust.

“I hate him.”

“I know.”

“What they did to Eddie-”

“C’mon, Rich. I’m going to be late.” Stan said.

He let go of Richie’s wrist and continued walking. When he realized Richie wasn’t with him he turned to find the boy rooted to the spot. His head was bowed trying to hide his tears.

“Richie?” Stan walked back to him.

“Fuck. I hate this town so much. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I know. Don’t pay attention to them, Rich. They’re just spreading hate.”

“Yeah, but you’re not easy like they say. Bill knows that, and I know that, and I just don’t want you to believe them.”

“Richie, where’s this coming from?”

Richie wiped away his tears. “I hate being powerless.”

Unsure of what to do Stan pulled Richie into a tight hug. “We’re going to be okay, Rich. We’re going to get out of here.”

Richie pulled away. “Thanks, Stan the Man. Y’know you and Bill really are perfect for one another.”

Stan flushed. “I don’t know about that.”

“He’s lucky to have you.”

“Thank you, Richie. Now we really have to go. I can’t be late.”

Richie laughed, slowly returning to his old self and followed Stan towards the center of Derry.

At the doors of the Ukrainian Center, Stan turned to Richie. “You know, I bet Eddie is bored out of his mind right now. His mom’s back at work, maybe you could go keep him company.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Now that you and Big Bill are together you’re quite the little yenta,” Richie said.

“It’s just a suggestion.”

Stan turned away a smirk on his face. If he knew Richie it wouldn’t be long before he would be pounding at Eddie’s door.

–

Eddie was moping around in his room when he heard something hit his window. He ignored it, figuring it was one of the neighborhood kids, but the sound persisted. Again. And again. Annoyed he went over to the window and pulled it up preparing to yell at whoever was down there. He looked out and froze. There was Richie Tozier in his dumb Hawaiian print shirt, pebbles in hand.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Hey, Spaghetti Man!”

Why was he acting like this was normal?

“Can I come in?”

“Why are you here?” Eddie asked looking to see if anyone was putting Richie up to this.

“Thought you might be bored.”

“I’m fine. Thanks.” Eddie went to close the window.

“C’mon, Eds. Don’t just leave me down here.”

Eddie froze. He could never deny Richie when he took that tone with him. “Alright. I’ll meet you at the front door. But you have to leave when I say so.”

“Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a scout.”

Richie just laughed as Eddie went to go let him in.

Inviting Richie into his room was like stepping back in time. Suddenly he was seeing everything from Richie’s eyes. There were the pill bottles stacked in meticulous rows on the bedside table, laundry folded by the foot of his bed waiting to be put away. The posters on his walls suddenly seemed too straight, too boring. Everything was so sterile, like a showroom not a real house. Richie took it all in with a whistle.

“Things haven’t changed.”

Eddie wanted to argue with him, but he knew Richie was right. He watched as the other boy went over to his dresser and picked up a frame. He knew the picture well. It was from Stan’s bar mitzvah. The three of them were posed together in their best suits. It had been a wonderful day. Richie was smiling at the photo.

“Can’t believe you kept me in this photo. I thought you’d tear me out of it.”

“Yeah, well didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good picture of Stan and me.”

Richie laughed. “You’re funny, Eds.”

“Why do you insist on calling me that?”

“Cause it’s cute like you. And it riles you up.”

Eddie huffed.

“Aw, I’ve missed this.”

Eddie didn’t want to admit it, but he had too. More than he could possibly say.

He and Richie continued to talk through the rest of the afternoon. Richie showed him new music he had discovered, and told him some of his biggest wipe outs on his skateboard just to get a reaction out of him. Eddie talked about ballet, and how he had gotten to know Beverly. It was as if nothing had gone wrong between them. Time slipped away, and before they knew it Sonia Kaspbrak could be heard pulling into the driveway.

Eddie’s eyes widened comically. “Shit. I didn’t realize… you’ve got to go.”

“Go? But I want to see your mom.”

“Not the time, Richie. Shit. She’s going to kill me if she finds you here.” Eddie began wheezing.

“Not to worry,” Richie said. “I’ll sneak out the window.”

They waited until they heard the keys in the lock, and then Richie opened the window and climbed out onto the roof. 

“See ya later, Spaghetti Man.” He said with a wink, and he was gone.

Eddie closed the window not quite believing what had just happened.

–

After the ballet class ended, Stan approached Beverly. “Some of us are headed out to the quarry tonight. Do you and Ben want to come?”

“A night out with my boys? Absolutely.”

“Is Ben going to say yes to being out on a school night?”

“What made you say yes?” Beverly’s eyes were bright, Stan knew she was testing him.

“Richie on Bill’s behalf.”

Beverly smirked. “Well if Richie managed to convince you with just the slightest promise of Bill, I think I’ll have no trouble getting Ben to agree.”

“He should invite Mike too.”

Beverly looked at him quizzically. “Since when are you and Mike Hanlon close?”

Stan flushed. “I know he and Bill used to be close along with Ben. I thought it might be nice for them to reconnect. Kind of how like we are with Richie.”

“Aw, you are too cute, Stan. Denbrough doesn’t deserve you.” Beverly took his hand and squeezed it. 

She was right. Stan tried to ignore how excited he was at the thought of seeing Mike again.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Beverly promised. 

–

Stan found sneaking out a second time was a lot easier than the first. When Stan arrived at the quarry he saw that a bonfire was already going. Bill and Ben were catching up by the fire. Beverly was joking around with Richie and Eddie, and off to the side was Mike Hanlon. Stan’s heart stuttered a little when Mike turned and smiled welcoming him to the group.

“Hi, Stan. I wasn’t sure if you’d be coming.”

“Hi, Mike.”

“Can I get you a drink? Ben and I brought some coca-cola.”

“That would be great.”

Mike passed him a soda can, and Stan found he was grateful to have something to do with his hands.

“You know I was a little surprised when I found out you and Denbrough were dating.”

“Yeah?”

“He just doesn’t seem your type,” Mike said.

Stan flushed.

“I think you bring out the good in him though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Bill sort of drifted away from Ben and I in high school. It was natural, no hard feelings. We just sort of found different crowds. But since he’s been with you he seems to be making an effort. You’re a good influence on him.”

Stan didn’t know what to say to that. Luckily, Bill came up to them.

“Stan, you m-made it.” He said wrapping an arm around Stan’s waist. Stan saw Mike’s eyes trace the gesture.

“Of course. Sorry I’m a bit late.”

“You d-d-don’t have to apologize. Come sit by the fire with m-m-me.”

Stan shot Mike a look but he waved them off good naturedly. Once the reached the semi-circle Stan realized that they were short two chairs. Eddie and Richie were already bickering in one set of lawn chairs, while Beverly was sprawled in another. Her long legs were draped over the side of the chair her hand resting in Ben’s hair. The other boy was sitting on the ground toasting marshmallows. Mike had moved into the chair across the way, and Stan found that left just one chair.

“You can sit, I’ll sit on the g-g-ground,” Bill said.

“Don’t be silly. I... I’ll sit on your lap.”

“Are you sure?” Bill’s eyes were bright in the firelight.

“We’re dating, Bill. Of course I’m sure,” Stan said putting on a teasing tone for the benefit of their friends.

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Stan tensed a little at the nickname, but found that he actually didn’t mind it. Bill sat in the chair, and Stan carefully arranged himself so that he was sitting sideways on Bill’s lap. This allowed him to see Bill as well as the majority of the group. He settled his arm around Bill’s shoulders to stabilize himself. He suddenly felt warm all over, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the fire or the proximity between them. Again he was surrounded by Bill’s cologne and it allowed him to relax against the other boy.

“This feels serendipitous,” Beverly was saying. “The seven of us here. It feels lucky. Don’t you agree?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, it’s cool having our friend groups combine.”

“Who would have thought that we would all be such fast friends,” Mike said looking at Stan in particular.

Stan felt like he ought to say something, but luckily Richie cut in.

“A toast,” Richie said jumping up and spilling soda all down his hand.

“Gross, Richie. You’re hands going to be all sticky now.” Eddie said.

“Not as sticky as last night,” Richie had the audacity to wink.

“Beep beep, Richie.” Stan said.

“Twice in one day, Stan the Man. That’s hardly fair.”

Eddie looked at them curiously.

“What does beep beep mean?” asked Ben looking between the trio.

“It’s something we used to say whenever Richie was out of line,” Eddie said. 

“Nice to know it still works.” Bill said.

“Billiam, I swear to god if you start beeping me I will never forgive you.”

Bill laughed. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Stan, tell your boyfriend that he can’t beep me.”

“Bill can do whatever he wants.”

“Is that a promise?” Bill asked.

“Ha, Big Bill gets off a good one. Stanley, I’m sorry man, but you are so whipped.”

Embarrassed, Stan buried his head against Bill’s neck. He could feel the other boy’s throaty chuckle. Bill’s hand began rubbing soothing circles into his back. His calming scent washed over Stan. He relaxed a little, shifting closer Bill.

“Look over there.” Bill’s breath ticked Stan’s ear.

He turned to where Bill was gesturing and found Richie and Eddie’s heads close in conversation. It was clear that whatever they were talking about was serious, and Stan felt his heart begin to pound.

“Not too bad for our first group outing.”

Stan couldn’t help but agree.

Conversation began to lull, and Stan found that his eyelids had become heavy with sleep. In his tired state he curled closer to Bill in order to stay warm. The other boy let out a soft noise of surprise, but didn’t do anything to stop him. Stan drifted off to sleep.

After an indeterminable amount of time, a cold breeze woke Stan. He curled closer to Bill too tired to worry about how the other boy might take it.

“Hey, sleepy head, we should g-g-get you back home,” Bill said.

Stan groaned not wanting to move.

Gently Bill began to push him. “C-come on, sweetheart.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“You haven’t b-been sleeping well. You n-need to sleep when you can.”

Stan let out a whine. If he weren’t so tired it would be mortifying.

Bill laughed. “Alright, let’s g-go.”

Drowsily Stan rose. He found that the fire was just embers at this point. Mike, Ben, and Beverly had already left. Richie and Eddie were still talking, but it seemed less intense.

“Goodnight, Richie, Eddie.” Stan said voice thick with sleep.

“Night, boys. Be safe,” Richie winked.

“B-beep beep, Rich.” Bill said.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Stan.” Eddie said.

Bill took his hand and led him back to where the cars were parked. The headlights cut a path through the darkness and Bill drove on.

“What’s going on between you and Mike?”

“Huh?”

“I m-mean you’re supposed to be my b-boyfriend, Stan.”

Stan’s tired brain couldn’t keep up. What was Bill talking about?

Bill looked over and seeing Stan’s confusion he relaxed. “N-nevermind. F-forget I said anything.”

Stan pouted, but ultimately he let it go.

Bill stopped at the corner of Stan’s block so as not to wake his parents with the sound of his engine.

“Thanks for the ride, Bill.”

“Sure t-t-thing, Stan. Sleep well.”

“You too.”

Stan climbed out of Bill’s car and walked to his house. He fell into bed still smelling of smoke and Bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful to all of you who have responded so well to this fic. I hope this chapter lives up to my promises of increasing Stenbrough, please let me know what your thoughts are. I love reading your comments so much! Next update things are going to heat up. Hopefully I'll post it sometime early-mid next week. Any predictions?!  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	7. Chapter 7

After the night at the quarry things began to pick up. The new group of friends spent all their free time together. At Derry Prep, Bill, Ben, and Mike were more friendly chatting together between classes. In Eddie’s own group Richie became a constant. He ate lunch with them every day, and he always walked Beverly and Stan to ballet before heading over to Eddie’s. Even though Eddie would have given anything to keep dancing, he cherished this time alone with Richie. By the end of the week, everyone agreed to go to the lacrosse game on Friday, and Ben planned a movie marathon for the next day.

Eddie had lied to his mother saying that he had a group project due Monday, and asked if he could use Friday evening and a majority of Saturday to work with his group. His mother eventually relented as she feared that Eddie’s school work might not be suffering due to his captivity.

Friday evening she dropped him off at Ben’s house.

“Call me when you’re ready to be picked up.”

“I will, Mom.”

“And if you are feeling too fatigued, tell your classmates that you need to take it easy because you’re healing. And if that means coming home, call me immediately.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“And Eddie-bear? I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Eddie got out of the car and watched his mom pull away. Once she was gone, Richie Tozier rode up on his skateboard. Gracefully he kicked the board up and caught it. Eddie tried not to be too impressed.

“You ready to go?”

Eddie nodded.

They walked side by side, their steps quickly falling in sync.

“How’s the old ball and chain?”

“You know that’s typically a term people use for their spouses, right?”

“It felt appropriate since she’s keeping you a prisoner.”

“It’s not so bad. It’s how she shows she cares.”

Richie didn’t comment.

“How’s your week been?” Eddie asked.

“Good. I actually really enjoy hanging out with Bev and Stan. Stan finally seems like he’s gotten the stick removed from his ass –”

“Beep beep, Rich.”

“Hey, I wasn’t even going to make a dick joke. I just think he and Bill are good for each other.”

“Oh.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“No.”

“They’re our best friends. We should be happy for them.”

“I know…”

“But?”

“I don’t know. Doesn’t it all seem a little fast?” Eddie asked.

“How so?”

“They just met, and they’re already all over each other!”

“Not every relationship is based on pining for years. Good for them for realizing their feelings sooner.” Richie said.

Eddie looked up at Richie. The sun glinted off his dark hair, and cast shadows along the hollows of his cheeks and throat. Eddie swallowed. They were entering uncharted territory.

“I know that.”

“Course you do, Eds. Didn’t mean to imply otherwise,” Richie said easily returning to his usual tone.

“Don’t call me that.” But he didn’t mean it.

Richie laughed. “As you wish, Spaghedward.”

“That’s even worse.”

Richie just laughed. Eddie realized just how much he had missed the sound in the years they had been apart. They walked the rest of the way in a companionable silence. Eddie couldn’t help but sneak glances at Richie. He looked so beautiful in this light.

By the time they had reached the lacrosse field, the JV game had begun. Ben, Mike, and Bill were already there cheering on George.

“Hey guys, how’s the team doing?” Richie asked.

“The g-g-game just started, Rich,” Bill said.

“Are Beverly and Stan coming from ballet class?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah. I brought them food from my house, since they won’t have time to grab dinner.” Ben said.

“Aw, you are so whipped,” Richie said elbowing Ben.

Ben rolled his eyes, “guess it takes one to know one”

“As if. No one could tame me.”

Ben just shot Eddie a look he couldn’t read. This seemed to get Richie going even more.

“Excuse me, Benjamin, what was that look?”

“What look?”

“The one you just gave Eddie.”

Ben shrugged, but he was smiling.

“You s-saw that? I t-thought with g-glasses as thick as yours you m-m-must be blind.” Bill said.

“Thanks, Billiam. Real mature.”

Bill just laughed.

Eddie moved over to Mike. “How’s George doing?”

“Pretty well, he’s scored one goal already.”

“That’s awesome,” Beverly said joining the group.

“Hi, Bev. You look great,” Ben said. Her hair was already down from its bun and she had changed out of rehearsal clothes into overalls and a flowy blouse. There was a softness about her that Eddie didn’t usually see in school.

Beverly beamed at him. “Thanks, Ben.”

“I brought you and Stan dinner,” Ben said pulling food from his bag.

“You’re the best!” She kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush. Before anyone could tease him Stan joined the group.

“How was class?” Eddie asked.

Stan gave a tired smile. “Alright, but we missed you.”

Eddie nodded. He watched Stan take a sandwich from Ben, before going over to Bill. The smile on Bill’s face was radiant, and Eddie couldn’t help but think how lucky he and Stan were to not end up pining for years.

Richie moved to stand by him. He could feel Richie studying him. 

“Eds, you’re upset.”

“No I’m not.”

“You were never a great liar.”

“I guess I didn’t expect to be so jealous.”

A dark look passed over Richie’s face. “Jealous of who?”

“Stan and Bill. They don’t realize how lucky they are.”

Richie looked confused.

Before Richie could speak Eddie said, “Forget about it.”

“Eds-”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

Eddie moved to go stand by Mike. At least he understood quiet.

George’s team won their game, and Eddie watched as Bill left Stan’s side to race and hug his brother. He saw how Stan smiled fondly before following him. What he wouldn’t give to have that. His eyes darted to Richie. The other boy was joking around with Beverly. She held hands with Ben who was watching them with the same soft fondness that Stan held for Bill. Eddie had never felt so lonely.

Before the Varsity game began the group shifted to the bleachers. George was talking Stan’s ear off explaining the different positions while Stan listened, a smile on his face. Bill watched them warmly before making his way to Eddie.

“H-h-hey, Eddie. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t be?” He was getting sick of everyone asking him if he was alright.

“I d-d-don’t know, you just had this look on your face.”

“Sorry guess I was thinking.”

Bill laughed. “You d-d-don’t need to apologize for that.”

“I didn’t know you were gay,” Eddie said.

“I’m n-n-not.”

“Well bi, then,” Eddie felt his cheeks warm. He hadn’t meant to bring this up to Bill, but it had been on his mind for awhile. Bill still looked uncomfortable, and Eddie hastened to retract the foot he had just placed in his own mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have assumed your sexuality. It’s just for the longest time, Stan was the only other queer kid I knew in Derry. I guess it’s comforting to find out that there are more of us.”

Bill nodded, still not speaking.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I g-g-guess I n-n-never thought of putting a label on it. I n-n-never had to,” Bill said gazing towards Stan. The “until now” lay heavily in the air.

“You must really like him.”

Bill looked down at him with surprise. “I d-d-d-do.”

Eddie’s loneliness swelled in his chest, but there was some relief too. At least Stan had managed to find one of the good ones.

–

The next day when Stan arrived at Ben’s house he was ushered to the basement which had been converted into a cozy living room. Extra pillows and blankets had already been brought down and it looked down right domestic.

Richie and Eddie were sharing the love seat. Richie’s legs invading Eddie’s personal space. Although they were arguing as usual, Stan had never seen Eddie so happy. Beverly was seated on a mound of pillows on the floor with Mike, which left an overstuffed armchair. Stan took it, curling his legs underneath himself. Ben disappeared once more, and returned with Bill following him.

Bill began to take his place on the mound of cushions when Stan let out a small cough. “I thought we could share.”

Bill’s smile grew. “Yeah?”

Beverly gagged.

“Get a room already,” Richie said.

“As if you have a-any room to t-talk, Rich.” Bill said.

Richie and Eddie both blushed, not looking at one another.

Bill joined Stan in the armchair, their legs pushed closely together. Stan was hyper aware of where they were touching. He could feel Bill’s warmth through the layers of clothing and somehow this was even worse than the bonfire. There were no excuses. He couldn’t say he was tired, or that it was cold, or that there was nowhere else to sit. Here in broad daylight, Stan had nothing to hide behind.

The group settled on a John Hughes marathon and decided to start with _The Breakfast Club_. Mike helped Ben bring over snacks, and they turned off the lights. 

“You know what this reminds me of?” Ben asked.

“Hm?”

“The clubhouse.” 

Stan felt Bill shift.

“Clubhouse?” Eddie asked.

“When we were younger, Bill, Mike and I constructed a clubhouse in the Barrens,” Ben said.

“Aw that’s so cute.” Beverly squeezed his hand.

“I wonder if it’s still there?” Mike asked.

“Probably. The thing was built to last.”

“It’s still t-there,” Bill said under his breath, but it carried. Everyone turned to look at him.

“How do you know?”

“I g-go there when I need to g-g-get away.”

“You still go there?”

Bill wasn’t looking at any of them. Stan put his hand over Bill’s trying to ignore how quickly his heart was beating. He used his thumb to soothe the back of Bill’s hand. Bill gave him the smallest hint of a smile.

“We should all go sometime. It might be fun,” Beverly said.

“Okay,” Ben agreed.

As they started the movie everyone relaxed. Everything was fine until Andy began talking about his father’s expectations for him. Stan noticed the tension in Bill’s hands first, but soon the other boy was rigid.

Bill stood up and muttered something about the bathroom. The others watched him go curiously. Stan felt like he couldn’t be in this room for a second longer.

“I should go check on him. Ben, where’s your bathroom?”

“Up the stairs to the left.”

Richie laughed, calling something obscene as he left.

Stan ran up the stairs, and made it to the bathroom. He knocked on the door. “Bill, are you alright?”

The door opened. Bill pulled him in, enclosing the two of them in the small room. If Stan had thought downstairs was claustrophobic it was nothing compared to the bathroom. The ugly floral wallpaper seemed too busy and contrived; the floor plan was crowded between the toilet, the sink, and a tub.

“W-w-why did you f-f-f-follow m-m-me?”

“I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m f-f-f-fine.”

“Bill, you are not fine. You don’t get to lie to me about this. I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, for godsake.”

“Keep your voice down.”

“So what is it?”

“You should go back, t-t-tell them I got a t-t-text from Georgie to call him.”

“No way are they going to believe that Bill,” Stan said.

“W-well the longer you’re in here, the m-m-more suspicious it looks.”

“What do you mean?” Stan’s frustration ebbed away and was replaced with anxiety.

“I told them I was going to the bathroom and you followed me. W-we can’t t-tell them we were arguing, so w-w-what exactly do you t-t-think they’re going to think we w-w-were doing this w-w-whole time?”

Stan felt the blood rush from his head. He hadn’t considered how it had looked when he left. He pushed Bill out of the way so he could sit down on the rim of the tub. “They think we sneaked off to make out?”

“Knowing Rich, that’s one h-h-hundred percent what they t-t-think.”

Well that explained Richie’s good humor when Stan had left. He supposed none of them had noticed how uncomfortable Bill had become. They just assumed… sometimes Stan really hated his friends.

“You shouldn’t have f-f-followed me.” Bill said more gently than before.

“You looked panicked.”

“I’m f-f-fine.”

“Bill –”

“It was Andy, alright? The way his f-f-father treats him is how m-m-my dad used to b-b-be. He wanted me to b-b-be the best, but after everything t-that happened he stopped caring. He b-b-blames me for how m-m-mom took it all. He b-b-b-blames me for the distance between t-t-them. Sometimes I m-m-miss the pressure he used to put on m-m-me. At least I knew he cared then.”

Stan looked up at Bill. The other boy was near tears. Stan stood and pulled Bill to him. He wrapped his arms around Bill and held him. He could feel Bill’s heartbeat pounding against his rib cage.

“You deserve to be loved, Bill. And that isn’t love.”

Bill buried his head against Stan’s neck. Tentatively Stan began running his hand across Bill’s shoulders. Once the other boy’s breathing had become more normal they pulled apart both aware of the awkwardness in the air.

“So how do we make this believable?”

“L-look if we w-were really together, I w-wouldn’t broadcast that w-w-we used this as an opportunity to m-m-m-make out. W-w-we have to give them enough c-c-clues for them to piece it together. M-make them f-f-feel clever.”

“Okay.”

“Start by m-messing up your hair.”

Stan ran his fingers through his hair a couple times feeling stupid. Bill shook his head. “Here, let m-m-me help you.”

Bill moved closer and gently unclipped Stan’s kippah. He passed it to Stan before he began running his fingers through Stan’s hair. Stan couldn’t help but lean into the touch. It felt good. He hadn’t been touched like this before, and he felt his entire body relaxing. His fingers traced the embroidery on his kippah, desperate to keep himself from overthinking. All too soon Bill pulled away.

“B-b-better.”

“What’s wrong?”

“W-w-when you make out, your lips kinda g-g-get… they’re a-a-affected. I d-d-don’t know how to f-f-fake that not w-w-without…”

Stan nodded. He remembered his one stipulation. No kissing.

“… unless...”

“What?”

Bill refused to look at him, his face growing redder by the second. Stan was about to ask again when Bill told him his idea.

“I could g-g-give you a h-h-hickey.”

Stan wasn’t even sure what sort of look of horror was on his face right now, and he couldn’t ask Bill because the other boy still wouldn’t meet his eye.

“L-look, Stan, the l-l-longer w-w-we’re in here the b-b-better an excuse w-w-we’ll need.” Desperation and reluctance colored Bill’s tone.

Stan swallowed. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay?” Bill didn’t seem convinced.

“You’re just sucking on my neck,” Stan tried desperately to sound casual.

“Only if y-y-y-you’re sure… hickeys a-a-a-aren’t… t-t-they’re m-m-m-more than –”

“We need a cover story, and this is all we’ve got.”

“Alright. Sit d-d-d-down,” Bill said gently.

Stan sat on the edge of the tub and looked up at Bill. Bill watched him for a moment as if trying to decide the best way to do this. He ended up sitting next to Stan, their knees pressing together. He felt Bill’s hand wrap around his neck, his pulse jumped.

“Is this o-o-kay?”

“Yeah.”

“You know I c-c-can feel your p-p-pulse,” a hint of the teasing Derry Prep Boy was back.

Stan rolled his eyes. “Let’s just do this already.”

Gently Bill pulled the collar of Stan’s shirt away exposing his throat. He placed the pads of his index and middle fingers just above Stan’s clavicle. “Is h-h-here g-g-good? It’s close to the collar like w-we w-w-wanted to hide it.”

Stan bobbed his head.

“Okay.”

But still Bill didn’t move. “Are y-y-you s-s-sure?”

“For godsake, Bill. Just do it.”

Bill leaned in, and instinctually Stan bared his neck to him. He felt the heat of Bill’s breath and then the softness of his lips. Stan gasped when he felt Bill’s teeth nip at the sensitive flesh.

Bill pulled away. “Are you okay?”

Stan nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Bill didn’t look sure, but instead of speaking he ducked his head back to Stan’s throat. Stan began to run his hands through Bill’s hair. He needed to do something to stay calm. Bill let out a soft sound of approval in the back of his throat. It filled Stan with an odd sort of satisfaction, knowing that he had an effect on Bill.

Stan gasped as Bill applied more suction and began to use his teeth. The noise echoed oddly in the confined space. Stan was all too aware of how irregular his breathing was, the wet sounds coming from Bill, the heat, their proximity. He tried to take a steadying breath and instead found himself letting out a whimper. He tightened his hold on Bill, and closed his eyes embarrassed at how his body was responding. It felt good. Stan didn’t know that sucking on someone’s neck could feel this good. He felt his heart pounding as he tried to remain grounded.

Bill pulled away, dropping his hand from where it had been on Stan’s neck. His lips were wrecked. His hair was an absolute mess. He wouldn’t meet Stan’s gaze, but Stan saw that his pupils were blown wide. Once he had finished taking inventory of how debauched Bill looked; Stan spoke. His voice was huskier than usual and at first the words didn’t come.

“Did it work?”

“Y-yeah.”

Stan stood and looked in the mirror. He almost didn’t recognize himself. He looked just as wrecked as Bill, if not more so. At the junction of his neck and clavicle was a lurid, bright, red mark. Tentatively he brought his fingers up to it. “Fuck.”

Before anything more could be said on the matter there was a knock on the door.

“Hey, lovebirds, your seven minutes in heaven are long up,” Beverly said.

Bill opened the door and slipped past Beverly without saying anything. Beverly seemed surprised by this, but it was nothing compared to when her gaze met Stan.

“Holy fuck.”

Yeah. Holy fuck.

By the time he got back down to the basement, Bill had returned to their seat. Richie’s comments about how Bill looked were quickly dropped when he saw Stan. 

“Holy fuck, you fucking marked him,” Richie exclaimed.

“Beep beep, Richie,” Bill said.

“Did he give you one too?” Richie turned back to Bill.

“Do you see any?”

“Spagheds, just cause I don’t see ‘em doesn’t mean Stan didn’t.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Stan said.

He sat by Mike and Ben on the floor, determined not to look at Bill. He busied himself trying to tame his hair and clip his kippah back in place.

“Did he show you why he’s called Big Bill?”

“Beep beep, Richie.”

“Now you’re really Stan the Man.”

“Richie –”

“Bet it was better than your bar mitvah!”

“Richie, could you please stop implying that Bill and Stan hooked up in my guest bathroom?” Ben asked.

“Anything for you, Haystack.”

Mike shot Stan a sympathetic look before restarting the movie.

Stan tried to calm down and focus on the film, but all he could think about was Bill’s confession. Bill deserved to be loved, he deserved better than a fake boyfriend. Stan studied Mike, who was beside him. He decided to ignore any attraction he might have towards him. Bill deserved better, even if it was all fake. Stan’s heart clenched at the thought of what came after. He had just found this group, he couldn’t imagine the seven of them not being like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter. I am getting so much love for this fic and I want you to know all your comments and kudos brighten my day immeasurably. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I've been so excited to post it and it's been hard for me to wait. Lmk your favorite parts, any predictions you may have, etc. I enjoy reading them so much! Next chapter should be up sometime this weekend. (And it has some v. cute moments with Georgie and Stan.)  
> Thanks again!  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	8. Chapter 8

On Sunday afternoon, Stan went to the library to catch up on homework. Between the changes in his social life, the lack of sleep, classes, and ballet lessons, Stan’s schoolwork was beginning to suffer. It was early so the library was mostly empty. Out of habit, Stan headed over to the table by the help desk. Ben wasn’t working today, but even so Stan liked the familiarity and comfort of the spot. He carefully laid out his notebooks and textbooks by subject and then priority. He found a rhythm in his work as the hours passed. Calm descended over him.

As he finished up his English reading, he looked up and saw Georgie Denbrough standing uncertainly in the door. When his eyes landed on Stan recognition filled them. Slowly he made his way over to Stan’s table.

“Hi, Stan.”

“Good afternoon. What are you doing here?”

“Homework. Coach says I have to keep my grades up to stay on the team. Um do you mind if I join you?”

Stan was a little surprised at the question, but nodded none the less. Georgie looked relieved. He took the seat across from Stan and began unloading book after book. Stan was surprised to see _Ender’s Game_. 

“They’re still teaching this?” Stan asked reaching for the book.

Georgie scrunched up his nose, a look Stan recognized from Bill. It was strange how familiar it felt. “Yeah, but I don’t really like it.”

“Really?”

“I’m not good with books,” Georgie said.

“Oh.” Stan set the book down and turned back to his work.

Stan had loved _Ender’s Game_ when he read it in 8th grade. He understood what it was like to be more clever than the bullies around him, to know he could outwit them. He liked the idea of a group of kids going up against something big and dangerous, of kids being taken seriously. He had imagined how he and Eddie would have handled it if it had been them. It was just the sort of adventure that he dreamed of when he was younger. Stan wondered what Georgie didn’t like about it.

At first Stan feared that he wouldn’t be able to focus with Georgie at the table, but things weren’t so bad. For an hour or so Georgie worked diligently, before finally turning to _Ender’s Game_. It was here that the other boy ran into trouble. From beyond his own work, Stan could see the frown on Georgie’s face. He was mouthing the words as he went, but eventually he put the book down with a huff.

“Everything alright?” Stan asked.

“I’m not good at this.”

Stan waited patiently for Georgie to continue.

“It’s just… I have pretty bad ADHD. It’s why I come to the library. It helps me focus being out of the house… but reading has never been my thing. When I was younger Bill would read to me. He said it was the only time I ever sat still. It was nice. I didn’t even notice his stutter.”

Stan could imagine a younger, smaller, Georgie curled up with his big brother as Bill read to him. The thought warmed his heart.

“I guess you’ve both gotten busy.”

“Yeah… he doesn’t have as much time as he used to. Besides I’m too old to have my big brother read to me.”

Stan was about to agree when he realized who was he to dictate that sort of thing? He reached for _Ender’s Game_. “Who says?”

“What?”

“Grab your stuff, I have an idea.”

Georgie watched as Stan packed away his textbooks and waited for him to do the same. After a moment of hesitation Georgie did so. Stan led Georgie out of the library into the warm spring air. The two boys made their way to the old bandstand in the park near the library. Stan sat on the old, weathered, step and gestured for Georgie to do the same.

“It’s too nice a day to be indoors, and anyway I can’t read aloud in there.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Georgie said.

“If it embarrasses you too much I won’t, but there’s no reason to be embarrassed. No one is too old to be read to. And anyway I love this book, it’s been years since I’ve read it and I wouldn’t mind rereading it. If you’re okay with that?”

Georgie still looked hesitant.

“Besides I can’t have you get kicked off the lacrosse team. After all I met Bill after one of your games.”

Georgie smirked. “Alright, Stan if you insist.”

So Stan began reading. Although he felt out of practice, Georgie didn’t seem to mind. He closed his eyes and listened. Stan described Ender’s arrival at Battle School, his cleverness, and how he was bullied. And while the other boy never remained still, Stan knew he was listening. Georgie had found a reason to care for Ender’s plight, and he was hooked.

Stan didn’t notice how late it had gotten, how the sun had completely shifted position, or how dry his mouth was until he felt someone’s shadow fall over the book. He looked up and found Bill smirking at him. He smiled.

“S-s-hould I b-b-be jealous?”

“Bill!” Georgie leaped up and tackled his brother.

Bill laughed. “How d-d-did you t-t-talk Stan into d-d-doing your English reading?”

“He offered.”

Bill looked over at Stan as if appraising him in light of this new fact. “Is t-that so?”

Stan flushed. “I just wanted to help.”

Bill smiled, “g-g-guess I haven’t read to you in awhile, huh?”

“Nope.”

“I t-t-thought you w-w-were too old for that k-k-kind of thing.”

“No one is too old to be read to, Bill.” Georgie said.

“M-m-mom and d-dad are expecting us f-f-for dinner,” Bill said.

“Can Stan come?”

“What?”

“W-w-what?”

“It’s the least I can do to repay him,” Georgie said.

“I-I’m sure his f-f-family is expecting him.”

“That’s really okay, George.”

Georgie rolled his eyes. “You’ve definitely earned the right to call me Georgie. C’mon, please?”

Stan looked at Bill helplessly, but there was no talking Georgie out of something when he got like this. Bill’s expression made that clear.

“Ask mom and d-d-dad.” Bill said.

Georgie laughed already beginning to pull out his phone while Stan called his own mother. After a brief conversation, and a promise to be home before nine it was settled. Stan was going to meet Bill’s parents.

They walked back to where Bill had parked and drove home. On the ride, Georgie caught Bill up to speed on what had happened in the book so far. Bill glanced lovingly at Georgie from time to time using the rear view mirror.

“Seems l-l-like you’re r-r-really enjoying it.”

“I wish Stan were my teacher. He makes the book feel so real.”

“Yeah, h-h-he t-t-tends to have that e-e-effect.” Bill looked at Stan causing him to blush.

“Ugh, gross.”

Bill laughed as Stan stared into his lap.

Once they pulled into the driveway Bill turned to Stan. “You r-r-ready f-f-for this?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll watch out for you,” Georgie promised.

Stan looked over at the younger Denbrough with fondness. He was going to miss him once he and Bill were through. “Thanks, Georgie. Better watch out Bill, your brother’s making a strong case to be my favorite Denbrough.”

Bill sputtered in indignation while Georgie laughed.

Stan felt slightly braver. He followed Bill and Georgie to the front door. On entering the house all his good spirit left as if he had entered a vacuum. The house was cold, like it had been shuttered for a long time. It didn’t feel lived in. Old photos of the whole family hung on the wall, but the recent ones were just of Georgie. It was like Bill had died.

“Hi, Mom. Dad,” Georgie called out. “I brought home a friend.”

Georgie led Stan into the dining room. There his father was setting plates out on the table while his mother sat drinking a glass of wine. She turned to see her sons with an artificial brightness that was brought on by the alcohol.

“Georgie! How was the library?”

“It was alright. This is Stan. He helped me with my English reading.”

“Oh hello,” Mrs. Denbrough said shaking Stan’s hand. “Please call me Sharon. And this is my husband, Zach.”

“Nice to meet you.” He noticed that neither parent had said anything to Bill.

“How do you know Georgie?” Zach asked.

“Well I’m –”

“He’s a tutor at the middle school,” Georgie lied. “Mr. Davies thought he could help me with the readings.”

Zach nodded. “Good. Can’t let your grades slip.”

“No sir,” Georgie’s happy veneer was beginning to fade.

“Dinner’s almost done,” Sharon said rising from her seat. “We’ll call you boys down once it’s ready.”

They had been dismissed.

Bill led Stan up to his room shutting the door behind them. The room wasn’t what Stan had expected. For one it felt warmer and brighter than the rest of the house. There were books everywhere. Pinned to the walls were old assignments with notes from the teacher as well as posters of classic horror movies. The unmade bed was a jumble of soft blankets. Leaning against the wall was Bill’s skateboard. There were selfies of Georgie and Bill from family trips that looked more recent and natural than any photo downstairs. On the dresser was a baseball in its mitt. Stan picked it up curiously.

“Little league, used to b-b-be my f-f-father’s pride and j-j-j-joy.”

“Are they always like that?”

“Pretty m-m-much. Ever since G-g-georgie went m-m-m-missing Mom’s b-b-been d-d-drinking m-m-m-more. D-d-dad blames m-me so he d-d-doesn’t talk to m-m-me much. Georgie tries to remind them I’m here, b-b-but he should j-j-just save his breath.”

“Do they know that we’re…”

“They have n-n-no c-c-clue that I’m seeing anyone.”

“Oh.”

“Thanks f-f-for helping G-g-g-georgie.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I haven’t b-b-been as g-g-good a brother as of l-l-late.”

“What are you talking about? You’re a great brother.”

“I’ve b-b-been busy. I h-h-haven’t been there as m-m-much.”

“I’m sure he understands.”

“I just feel b-b-bad lying to h-h-him.”

“I –”

“He r-r-really likes you.”

Stan’s eyes met Bill’s. The other boy seemed like he wanted to say more. 

“Dinner’s ready!” 

“W-we should g-g-go.”

Stan took one last look at Bill’s room, soaking up its warmth, before heading downstairs. The dining room’s formal nature reminded Stan of dinner at his own home. There was a multitude of dishes laid out, and Sharon was on what appeared to be her second glass of wine since their arrival. Zach led his family in a short blessing before beginning to cut into the chicken.

“So Stan, besides tutoring at the middle school what do you like to do?” Sharon asked.

“I take lessons at the Ukrainian Club.”

“You speak Ukrainian?”

“No. I take ballet lessons.”

Zach scoffed.

“Oh hush. I think that’s charming. Do you want to be, well, whatever you call male ballet dancers?” Sharon asked giggling.

“Yes.”

“I don’t imagine you’d have a long career as injury must be common. Do you have a back up?” Zach asked.

“My father wants me to study accounting.”

Zach nodded in approval as Sharon said, “how charming.”

“Georgie, how’s lacrosse? Coach Bannerman has a lot of good things to say about you. Thinks you could join varsity as a freshman.”

Georgie shied away from the attention. “It’s alright.”

“I’ve heard from quite a lot of people that they are very impressed by you.”

“You know Bill is writing a new story,” Georgie said.

Stan turned to Bill, “are you?”

“Y-yeah.”

“What’s it about?” Stan asked.

“It’s a c-c-coming of age story a-a-about a g-g-group of f-f-friends.” Bill said. “It’s n-n-not very g-g-g-good yet.”

“It’s brilliant,” Georgie said.

“I wish you wouldn’t stutter, Bill. Are you working on the exercises your speech therapist has given you?” Zach asked.

“Yes s-sir.”

Losing interest Zach steered the conversation back to lacrosse. Under the table Stan took Bill’s hand in his own. There was comfort in its weight.

–

After dinner, Bill offered to drive Stan home.

“I’m s-s-sorry about t-them.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“R-r-right.”

“You’re a better son than they deserve.”

Bill laughed, “a stuttering b-b-burnout. Y-yeah they’re b-b-blessed alright.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“It’s the t-t-truth.”

“Well I like your stutter.”

“You d-d-d-do?”

“Yeah.”

They pulled onto Stan’s street. Bill stopped at the end of Stan’s driveway. “G-g-goodnight, Stan. I’ll s-s-see you t-t-tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Bill.”

When he got inside he was greeted by his father.

“Where were you tonight?”

“At a friend’s.” Stan shifted his backpack uneasily.

“Which friend?”

“You don’t know him. He goes to Derry Prep.”

“His name, Stanley.”

“Bill Denbrough.”

“Hm. Zach and Sharon’s eldest?”

“Yes.”

“He’s a troublemaker. I don’t think you should be hanging out with him.”

Stan bit his tongue.

“Your mother and I haven’t been seeing much of you. We’re worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s late. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Another dismissal. Stan tried not to run to the sanctuary of his room. As he got ready for bed his thoughts returned once more to Ender: the fearless leader who defied expectations, who loved his sister and protected his friends, and Stan remembered something he had forgotten. Ender had been his first crush on a boy.

–

Eddie felt like his emotions were a rollercoaster this past week. All the time he spent with his friends were the rush of speed and turns, the lows were when he was trapped under his mother’s watchful gaze, and the highs? The highs were the two and a half hours he got to spend alone with Richie. Those were both the best and worst moments, anticipation twisting in his gut and endorphins flooding his system. Sometimes it was pure euphoria and other times Eddie worried that the bottom would drop out and he would be in free fall. What scared him the most was that Richie might decide to disappear again. Eddie wasn’t sure he would be able to recover a second time. So while he waited for Richie to show up on Monday he teetered between flight and falling. 

He hated the almost-Pavlovian-like response that hearing the approaching skateboard caused in him. Richie was close. His heart began to race. Would Richie stop? Or would he go by and ignore Eddie like he had before Bill and Stan got together? Eddie began wheezing. The wheels stopped. Next would come the sound of pebbles on glass. It was dumb. Richie could just knock on the front door, but this was tradition. Tradition mandated that Richie throw pebbles at Eddie’s window, just as tradition mandated he open it and tell Richie to stop being dumb and that he’d be right down. Eddie took a hit from his inhaler. His lungs no longer felt like they were on fire, but his heart had yet to get the message.

Pebbles on glass.

Eddie ran to the window, “You don’t have to throw rocks at my window every time!”

“So ya going to let me in, Rapunzel, or what?”

“Beep beep, Richie… I’ll be right down.”

Richie laughed at him, but it was a warm laugh and Eddie’s heart soared.

Eddie led Richie to his room, and the other boy flopped on his bed. Eddie watched unimpressed. “How’s the Ukrainian Club?”

“Still standing.”

“And?”

“What do you mean, and? It’s not like I go inside. I just walk Bev and Staniel there and then I leave.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Did you see the book Stan was reading today?”

“ _Ender’s Game_?”

“Yeah. He insisted on reading it while we walked, it was fucking weird. How’s your mom holding up after last night’s love session?”

“Ew, Richie. Can you not?”

Richie laughed. “For real though, how are you holding up?”

“The pain’s gone down, which is good. I just wish I could get back to dancing.”

“You will soon enough, Spaghetti Man. I know it.”

“Thanks, Richie.”

“Mm-hm. So what do you want to do today?”

“I should probably study for Mrs. Smith’s test on Friday –”

“What’s Friday got on today? Live in the moment, Eds!” Richie said pulling Eddie onto the bed.

Eddie moved away. “Easy for you to say. You never study.”

“Hey, that’s not fair.”

“When’s the last time you actually studied for a test, Richie?”

“I dunno, sixth grade?”

“So don’t mind me if I don’t exactly take your advice on study habits.”

“Oh c’mon, Spaghetti –”

“Don’t.”

“There’s a great big world out there. How about just this once we sneak out?”

“If anyone sees me and decides to tell my mom, I’m dead.”

“So we’ll just have to go somewhere no one will see us.”

“Richie –”

“Eddieeee, c’mon. I’m tired of being cooped up here.”

“No one said you had to come.”

“Oh. I thought you liked the company.”

Eddie reached for his inhaler.

“I’ll leave.”

“That’s what you do best.”

“What?”

“Things don’t suit you and you leave,” Eddie said.

“Fine if that’s what you want.”

“Fuck. No it’s not.”

“Okay then…”

“But I don’t know if I can trust you. How do I know you won’t leave? That you won’t get sick of me or everyone else and just disappear again into your skateboarding and your weed.”

Eddie’s chest heaved as he stared down Richie. Richie, for the first time in his life, didn’t have a witty comeback.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Richie.”

“You’re right.”

“What?”

“You have no reason to start trusting me again… I just thought that maybe all the good could outweigh the bad, but that was naive. You have no reason to believe me, but I’m not going to abandon you again. Any of you. For the first time I feel like I belong. Lucky number seven, isn’t that what Bev said? I think she was right. There’s strength in all of us when we’re together. It’s different than when it was just the three of us, or just Bill and me, or with the other stoners. This shit feels cosmic, destined, like it was meant to be. I know you have nothing other than my word to go on right now, but I want you to know that I’m not saying goodbye to the one good thing in my life.”

“I wish I believed you, but people say things they don’t mean. Last time you didn’t say anything. You just left.”

“I know. But I’m trying to make it up to you. And I’m going to keep trying so long as you think forgiveness is possible. Can you forgive me someday?”

“I think so.”

Richie’s smile returned. “Then I’m working for that day. And I’m not going to give up til I get there, Eds. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

The rollercoaster continued its ascent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ender Wiggins is a perfect stand in for Bill Denbrough. Both boys are bright, charismatic leaders of a select friend group, who go up against a larger than life entity. They both come from broken homes, but have a sibling they adore - who's actions inspire them to become the person they are meant to be -, and they both face bullies who are much bigger than them. The fact that Stan had a crush on one is a sign that an affection for the other is on the horizon. In this essay I will...
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is following along!! I hope you're having as much fun reading this as I have writing it. Let me know which ship you're rooting for the most, or who has it worse off: Stan or Eds? If you haven't read _Ender's Game_ I highly recommend it! And if you have, do you agree with my comparison?
> 
> Next chapter coming early/mid next week! Spoilers: things get violent.
> 
> Fondly Yrs.  
> TWoW


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for violence, homophobia, and Anti-Semitism

Monday had not been a good day for Stan. Last night he could barely sleep so he pulled out his old copy of _Ender’s Game_. There was something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. As he read he carefully annotated his copy, searching for what he was missing. It felt obvious, right in front of him, but even after a night of searching it remained elusive. His tired mind was distracted during classes, and as the day dragged on things got worse.

There had been two quizzes for which he had not studied the right material, as well as a returned test in which he got a lower grade than he expected. He didn’t know how he was going to explain things to his father. All day he was in a mental fog, and it showed during ballet.

The instructor had him repeat the across the floor work until he got it right. Every time he faltered from the beat or made a mistake the ballet master struck his cane on the ground and had him start over. He could hear Greta giggling, but worse than that he could feel the pity rolling off of Bev as she watched him willing him to succeed. It was humiliating. Only when the ballet master was satisfied was Stan able to disappear into the group again.

By the time the lesson was over Stan felt defeated. His muscles ached from the prolonged work, and it was all he could not to groan as he fell into Bill’s car.

“W-w-what’s wrong? Are you h-h-hurt?” Bill asked, eyes full of concern.

“Rough day.”

“D-d-do you want to t-t-t-talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“O-o-okay.”

Bill began to drive. Stan noticed that they weren’t taking the usual route back to his house. In fact they had missed the turn entirely.

“Bill, where are you taking me?”

“Out.”

“My parents –”

“I’m n-n-not allowed to take my b-b-boyfriend out after a b-b-bad day?”

“Bill, we’re not pretending right now.”

“I know… when G-g-g-georgie used to have b-b-bad days I’d take him to Al’s. W-w-we’d get a m-m-milkshake, and everything for awhile everything w-was okay.”

“My parents –”

“S-s-screw them.”

“I can’t –” 

“C-c-c’mon, Stan. Live a little.”

Stan looked over at Bill and found that he couldn’t say no to him. Not when he looked so… earnest.

“Okay. But I need to be back by seven.”

Bill smiled. “Okay.”

When they arrived, Al’s was bustling. Bill led the way to the back of the diner to the usual booth. Stan couldn’t help but think of it as theirs. They didn’t have to wait long for a waitress to come serve them.

“What can I get you boys?”

“W-w-we’ll have one m-m-milkshake, with t-t-two spoons.” Bill said.

“Flavor?”

Bill looked over to Stan indicating that he choose. “Chocolate.”

“That’ll be right out.”

After she had left, Bill took Stan’s hand in his own. “So are you w-w-willing to talk about w-w-what’s wrong now?”

Stan flushed. He looked down at Bill’s hand in his own, unable to look the other boy in the eyes. 

“I’ve been under a lot of stress recently. And with everything going on I haven’t had a lot of time to do homework, so it’s been cutting into my sleep schedule. From school to ballet I’m always exhausted and I haven’t been as focused as I should be. There were two quizzes today that I definitely failed, and I also got a test back today with a 78. My dad is going to be pissed.”

“I’m s-s-sorry.”

The waitress set the milkshake down in front of them. It had two spoons and two straws. Neither boy moved to touch it.

“But the worst part is what happened in ballet. I just couldn’t get the across-the-floor exercise. It didn’t make sense. I was making mistakes and the ballet master made me do it over and over again until I got it right. Everyone was staring at me and I’ve never felt so stupid in my life. I wonder why I even keep dancing.”

Tears threatened to spill down Stan’s cheeks. With his free hand Stan roughly swiped the cuff of shirtsleeve across his eyes. When he looked up Bill was watching him thoughtfully.

“Sometimes w-w-when I write I w-w-wonder why I b-b-bother. Especially in the beginning w-w-when I can’t find the w-w-words. But I c-c-can’t g-g-give up. I know w-w-writing is everything for m-me. And I think you’re the same with b-b-ballet. You’re good, Stan. T-t-today was one b-b-bad day. That d-d-doesn’t make you a b-b-bad dancer.”

“How would you know? You’ve never seen me dance.”

“I’ve h-h-heard how you t-talk about it though. I know you l-love it… We can’t give up on the things we love even when they feel impossible, e-e-especially when they feel impossible.”

Something undefinable and unrecognizable swelled in Stan’s chest. The sounds of the diner died away, all Stan was aware of was Bill’s gaze, their hands interlocked. Stan swallowed trying to ask how Bill was so wise, why he sounded so sad, but before he could say anything they were interrupted. Standing above them, hand on a cocked hip, was Greta Keene.

“Well I guess the rumors are true. Stanley Uris is a flaming homo.”

“Fuck off, Greta.” Stan said.

He felt Bill’s grip tighten.

“I always thought it was gonna be you and Kaspbrak. Was Wheezy not good enough for you? Guess that something we can both agree on.”

“Shut up.”

“Whatever. Enjoy your ‘date.’”

As she walked away she began texting. All of Derry High was about to know about Stan’s sexuality. He pulled his hand away from Bill’s, wrapping his arms around himself as if that could protect him from the blowback.

“We always f-f-figured Derry would f-find out.”

Stan nodded gazing into space. His mind racing a mile a minute. All he could think of was that Bowers would know, Patrick would know, the whole studio, his whole school… and it wouldn’t be long until his parents found out. What the fuck was his father going to think?

He didn’t realize that Bill had moved to his side of the booth until he found the other boy pulling him close. Bill held him as if he was afraid that Stan would break.

“W-w-we’re going to be okay. W-we have the others. They’ll h-h-have our b-b-backs. And we have each other.”

Not caring who saw, or what anyone thought, Stan buried his head into Bill’s neck. He craved Bill’s warmth and comfort, in this moment it was all he needed. He clung to the other boy, and Bill held onto him. The soothing smell of cologne enveloped Stan, slowing his pulse. Once he began to feel a bit better he pulled away.

Bill took out his phone and began to text. “I’m t-telling the others what happened. We’ll all n-n-need to be on the l-l-look out for one another.” 

Stan nodded. He thought back to the day Eddie had been beaten up because he had been alone. He dreaded going to school. He reached for the milkshake, hoping it would calm him down. 

“I’m sorry. W-we were s-s-supposed to come here to t-t-take your mind off things.”

“It’s not your fault. Like you said, Derry was bound to find out.”

The cool, sweetness of the milkshake provided temporary relief. He pushed it over to Bill. Quietly, so no one would hear, he said, “Take it. You’re about to get a lot of shit for being something you’re not.”

Bill slurped from his straw looking thoughtful. Whatever it looked like he wanted to say he didn’t. Instead he said, “w-w-we should get you h-h-home soon.”

Stan looked down at his watch with some surprise. It was almost seven. His world was collapsing and it had only taken an hour. Stan agreed, taking another sip of the milkshake. Bill pulled out his wallet and headed to the register to pay. Stan left a tip on the table.

Together they walked out into the warm spring air. Refusing to give into his fear, Stan took Bill’s hand in his own. He could feel people’s eyes on them as they headed to the car, but Bill had been right. They had each other. And maybe when this was all done, if it wasn’t too painful, they could still be friends.

Bill drove Stan home. He parked just beyond the driveway.

“Are you g-g-going to be okay?”

Stan nodded. Despite everything that had happened with Greta, and the knowledge of the shit storm ahead, Stan felt better after talking to Bill. Richie had been right. Bill was a good listener. He had a way of calming Stan down. “Thank you, I needed this.”

“Don’t g-g-give up, Stan.”

“I won’t.” Stan wasn’t sure if Bill was referring to school, ballet, or their fake relationship, but Stan knew there was still a fight left in him. He wasn’t going to let Derry defeat him.

By the time Stan got into the house his mother was already laying out supper.

“Where were you?” She asked looking up from the table.

“Library with Bev.”

“Hm.”

“Where’s dad?”

“He had to take care of something at the synagogue, so it’ll just be us tonight.”

A weight lifted from Stan’s chest. His mom studied him for a moment.

“Stan, you would tell me if something was wrong? Wouldn’t you?”

“Of course.”

“You just look so tired of late. I’m worried about you.”

Stan wanted to sob. He wanted to curl up in his mom’s arms, like when he was little. He wanted to tell her all about the stress he was under, about his doubts, about his new friends, about Bill. But he held his tongue. As much as he loved his mother, and knew that she would find compassion he knew she would feel compelled to tell her husband. He feared what his father would say. He knew his father’s pride for him had begun to diminish the moment he had turned thirteen, the day of his bar mitzvah. He figured his father blamed himself for not pushing Stan hard enough in learning his recitation from the Torah, blamed himself for allowing his son to run wild with gentiles who filled his head with dangerous thoughts. He hadn’t liked Stan’s speech, and there was a part of him which resented Stan for pursuing ballet rather than accounting or rabbinical school. The only fond memories Stan had of his father was when they used to go bird watching, but even those were beginning to tarnish.

“Honey, are you alright? You seemed lost for a moment.”

He had been, and he would give anything to be found.

“I’m alright. Just tired.”

His mother nodded. Although it looked like she wanted to ask more she didn’t push the subject, and for that Stan was grateful.

After dinner, Stan did his best to finish up his homework but found that he kept nodding off. The day had left him physically and emotionally drained. He tried to read, but sleep pulled him under.

–

The next day, as Stan entered the school building, he could feel people staring at him and whispering. It seemed everyone knew his secret. Beverly, Richie, and Eddie formed rank around him. Although it was late in the year, the seats near Stan were quickly vacated as no one wanted to be associated with him. However, they were quickly filled by Beverly, or Richie, or Eddie. He was lucky that he never had a class without one of them.

In third period, Stan’s lab partner raised his hand.

“Mrs. Smith? I don’t feel comfortable being Stan’s partner anymore. Can I switch?”

“And why is that Mr. Corcoran?”

Eddie Corcoran eyed Stan uneasily. “My step-father doesn’t want me catching AIDS.”

“What a ridiculous –”

“I’ll switch with him, ma’am.” Richie said already picking up his things.

If Mrs. Smith had been confused by Eddie Corcoran’s statement, she looked even more so by Richie volunteering to switch lab partners.

“Mr. Uris?”

“I’m fine being Richie’s partner.”

“Alright then. It’s settled. Mr. Corcoran and Mr. Tozier if you would switch places. Then we really must get started with our lesson.”

Richie dropped into Corcoran’s vacated seat with an easy smile. As Mrs. Smith began the lecture Stan whispered, “I hope you aren’t expecting me to do all the work.”

Richie beamed at this. “As if, I actually enjoy chemistry.”

“You would.” Stan said rolling his eyes. He hated honors chem. He had only taken it to appease his dad, but he all the formulas and conversions confused him.

The two boys returned their focus to Mrs. Smith who was lecturing in full by now. Eddie Corcoran shot a fearful glance over his shoulder at Stan. For some reason he looked sorry and afraid. Stan ignored the gaze. Let Corcoran think him heartless, what did Stan care?

–

Lunch was a more subdued affair. Stan was relieved they ate in the library, he couldn’t bear to think about eating lunch in the fishbowl that was the cafeteria. Here in his own little world he could pretend everything was normal. Richie was telling jokes, and Eddie was doing his best not to look amused.

“– Why? Because une deux trois quatre cinq.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Then why do you look so amused?”

“I do not.”

“Yeah you do. You get all cute and flustered when you’re trying to look serious.”

“Shut up, Richie.”

“Make me.”

Eddie huffed before turning away.

“So how are you holding up?” Beverly asked Stan.

“It’s alright. I’m grateful that I have you guys with me in all my classes.”

“What about next period?” Eddie asked looking worried.

“Richie’s in that class, so I’m good.”

“I thought you had a class on the third floor?” Eddie asked trying to hide his smile.

“Aw c’mon Staniel, help a brother out,” Richie groaned.

“I think you’re too white to say that.”

“Busted,” Beverly laughed.

“Guess you don’t need to walk me to class anymore,” Eddie said.

“No! I want to.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Stan was amused by their antics. The warning bell rung and they each began to collect their things. Beverly made an excuse about having to go the bathroom, and promised to meet Eddie there. Richie and Eddie headed off to the third floor so that Richie wouldn’t be late for Ambrose’s class again. For the first time all day Stan was alone.

Stan hurried through the halls telling himself that he was being paranoid, and that it was unlikely that anything would happen to him when he felt someone grab his arm. Patrick leered at him.

“So I heard you’re a good cocksucker, Uris. How’d you like to try mine? I could choke you better than Denbrough.”

Stan tried to twist out of Patrick’s grasp, but the other boy held firm. There would be a bruise tomorrow. Patrick pushed Stan up against the wall. The books in his backpack pressed into his lower back. Patrick began to trace Stan’s jawline and cheekbones before savagely twisting his fingers into Stan’s curls.

“What do you say, kike? You and me having a little fun? Your boyfriend can watch if he likes.”

Patrick began groping Stan over his clothes. He squirmed away from Patrick’s touch causing him to laugh.

“Aw c’mon, Uris. Don’t be a fucking tease.”

He snatched Stan’s kippah before licking his lips. “Think I’ll keep this as a reminder.”

Patrick pushed his groin up against Stan once more before sauntering off. Stan stood frozen as the second bell began to ring. When he was able to move he ran to the bathroom and threw up. He was shaking. He had never felt so dirty. He washed his hands, once. Twice. Three times. The water scalded his skin turning it red, and still it wasn’t enough. Stan thought back to Mike’s party. The feeling of unwelcome hands merged with memory of Patrick’s throaty laugh. It was too much. Tears pricked at Stan’s eyes. He tried to make his hair presentable. Whatever Patrick had done had created knots in his curls that Stan was going to need more time to untangle.

He was late to English. His skin crawled as everyone turned when he came in. He kept his head down, willing Richie not to see. Of course that was impossible.

“You’re late, Mr. Uris.” Mr. Ambrose said.

“Sorry, sir.”

Mr. Ambrose relaxed. “Don’t worry about it. Just don’t let it happen again.”

Stan nodded, before ducking into his usual seat. Richie turned to stare at him. Moments later a note landed on his desk:

What the fuck happened to you?

Stan crumpled it up.

From the corner of his eye he could see Richie’s phone under his desk. Stan was sure Richie was texting Bill and possibly the others. His shame grew.

The rest of class dragged on.

Afterwards, as Stan walked to French, Eddie caught up with him.

“What happened? Richie said,” Eddie’s words dropped off as he analyzed Stan more closely. “Oh my god. Stan, please talk. I’m really starting to freak out. What happened? Are you hurt? Who was it?”

“Patrick Hockstetter.” 

“What did he do? Stan? Stan? Where’s your kippah?”

The words wouldn’t come. Stan’s vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. He wiped them away hoping Eddie wouldn’t see. He couldn’t tell Eddie how scared he was, otherwise Eddie and Richie might not get together at all and everything would be wasted.

“Stan, talk to me. I’m really starting to freak out. Please.”

“I’ve got to go to class.”

During French, Beverly was able to coax a little more out of him, but it was rough. As they had conversations Beverly’s question veered away from “how is the weather” and “what time is it” towards “what happened.” It was easier to say it in another language. It felt less personal, and more like a story. Although he struggled a little finding the right words, Beverly, who had always been much better at French, understood at once.

Like Richie before her she had her phone in her lap and was texting. Stan figured it was the whole group, but later she told him it was just Bill.

“The others can know who did it, and that something happened. But for now the details should just be between us and Bill. Don’t you think?” She took his hand in hers. The weight warmed him immensely.

“Thank you, Bev.”

“Of course, Stan. I know what that kind of harassment is like, and I’m sorry it had to happen to you. But we’ll do our best to make sure it will never happen again.”

Stan wanted to believe her.

–

After school, Stan and Beverly met up with Richie to walk to ballet. As they exited the building they found a crowd of people.

“What’s going on?” Beverly asked.

Richie looked grim.

Dread crept over Stan. He knew what he would find at the crowd’s epicenter. The trio pushed their way to the front. Bill and Patrick were facing off. Patrick’s nose bled. He was breathing raggedly. Both boys’ clothes were scuffed up. Belch and Henry stood a few feet back. They must have shown up at the same time as the rest of the student body. Stan had never seen them look so murderous.

“G-g-give it b-b-back.” Bill’s stutter was much worse than Stan had ever heard it.

“O-o-o-or w-w-w-what? What are you going to d-d-do?” Patrick asked.

“I’m n-n-not afraid of y-y-you.”

“You should be.”

Bill let out a snarl and charged. He stunned the other boy and was able to get in a few punches before Henry and Belch dragged him off. Stan screamed. Above the noise of the crowd, Bill heard it. He looked at Stan.

The crowd screamed for blood, and Patrick was only too happy to oblige them. Stan needed to get to Bill’s side, to protect him, but Richie and Beverly held him tight.

“What does a DP boy like yourself think he can do? Sauntering up to poor Derry High on his mighty steed like he’s better than us. You’re filth, Denbrough. Just like your Trashmouth friend, just like Beaverly the slut, and just like your boyfriend.”

The first punch hit hard. Bill doubled over.

“I never took you as a queer, though. I guess I’ll have to find some girl who’s willing to fuck you and the kike straight.”

“D-d-d-don’t call him that.” Bill struggled against Henry and Belch’s hold.

Patrick laughed.

Bill stomped down Belch’s foot causing him to loosen his grip. He lunged at Patrick, landing a blow on him. “Don’t c-c-call him t-t-that.”

Patrick looked shocked as Bill struggled in Henry’s grasp.

“You fucking fag.”

Patrick moved in to hit Bill, but Bill was quicker. He kneed Patrick in the groin. Patrick doubled over, but before Bill could do more Belch regained his hold.

“I’m going to kill you, Denbrough.”

Before Patrick could keep his promise the sound of teachers could be heard.

“What is going on out here?”

Students began to disperse. The wall Patrick and the others were hiding behind was thinning and they knew it.

“We should go,” Belch said.

“C’mon, Patrick. Another time.”

Patrick kneed Bill in the stomach, Henry and Belch dropped him. “Until next time.”

The trio fled, and Stan raced to Bill. Richie and Bev followed.

“We need to get him out of here,” Beverly said.

She was right. The administration would not like to know that the fight had been caused by a Derry Prep Student. They would protect their own at any cost leaving Bill to the wolves.

Stan and Richie propped Bill up between them, and made their way back to where his car was parked on the side of the road. Stan helped him into the back seat, Bill’s head resting in his lap. Stan began taking inventory of Bill’s injuries. His knuckles were raw and bleeding. There was a small nick on his temple. Stan couldn’t guess where that had come from. And under his shirt, Stan imagined deep red bruises blooming. There was already one beginning to show on his cheek. Gingerly Stan brought his fingers to it. Bill’s skin was hot to the touch.

Beverly checked her watch. “Stan, we need to go.”

“I’m skipping. This is more important.”

“Stan –”

“I can’t leave him like this.”

Beverly looked torn. Stan knew her scholarship with the ballet company required her to have perfect attendance. He couldn’t let her miss on his behalf.

“Go. We’ll be fine.”

She nodded, but still wouldn’t leave.

“I’ll drop you off,” Richie said getting in the driver’s seat. “It’s on the way to the pharmacy. We’ll need some bandages and alcohol swabs.”

Beverly got in and Richie took off. He drove wildly, running through multiple stop signs. He dropped Beverly off with time to spare, before speeding to Keene’s pharmacy. After a shoddy parking job Richie jumped out of the car promising to be back soon.

Stan, who had been running his hands through Bill’s hair to calm himself down, finally looked at the other boy.

“You shouldn’t have confronted him.”

“I c-c-couldn’t let him think w-w-what he did to you w-w-was alright. B-b-besides I wanted to g-g-get your kippah b-b-back for you.”

“That’s sweet, but you’ll have a target on your back now.”

“Already d-d-did.”

“Do you regret doing all this? The fight? Our pretending?”

“N-n-no. Do you?”

“No.” Stan was surprised by his answer.

“Okay g-g-good.”

Richie was almost back so they stopped talking. Richie helped Bill out of the car and had him sit on the hood. Stan watched as he began to clean the blood from Bill’s knuckles with alcohol pads before expertly wrapping them.

“How do you know all this stuff?”

“Skateboarding,” Richie said. “When you fall down a lot you pretty quickly learn how to bandage yourself up.”

“Y-you should have seen R-richie when he f-f-first started. He f-f-fell all the time,” Bill laughed. It was a shallow, raspy sound. It broke Stan’s heart. 

“Stop laughing,” Richie said as he examined the cut. “Fuck. I don’t think this’ll need stitches. A band aid should do. Eddie would know for sure… Oh my god I forgot about Eddie!”

The panic would have been comical if Richie hadn’t been bandaging up Bill.

“Go. I’m sure he’s worried about what’s going on,” Stan said. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Okay. Are you sure?”

“G-go. Someone n-n-needs to catch E-e-eddie up to speed.”

“Yeah, fuck. Okay. There’s ibuprofen and some instant cold packs in the bag. You’re going to want to apply it to his ribs –”

“Richie, I think I can m-m-manage to ice my b-b-bruises. Go see E-eddie.”

Richie looked between Stan and Bill before going to get his things from Bill’s trunk. He gave them a salute and headed down the road towards the Kaspbraks’.

Once he had left, Bill began to strip. He then reached over to the bag and began breaking the ice packs. Stan watched as Bill wrapped the pack in his shirt before applying it to his left side. He couldn’t help but take in Bill. Although the boy was slim, there was definitely muscle definition. Stan shouldn’t be surprised, he had slept on Bill’s chest for godsake, but still he hadn’t expected to see the other boy half naked. Heat tugged at his gut. He traced the lines of Bill’s collarbones before following the curve of his ribs, and the muscles which all led down. He forced his eyes upwards. Bill had grabbed some pills and was dry swallowing them. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and Stan felt his own mouth go dry. Desperate to do something he cracked the other ice pack and wrapped it in his sweater. Without thinking of the implications he approached Bill. 

The other boy was still sitting on the hood of his car, and in order for Stan to get close enough Bill had to spread his legs. Stan gently applied the ice pack to the bruise forming under Bill’s eye. Bill let out a slight hiss as Stan applied pressure. Only then did he realize how close he and Bill were. He looked away. He hoped Bill wouldn’t see the blush that was rising to his cheeks. Why was he suddenly uncomfortable being this close?

Stan began to pull away, feeling that he had invaded Bill’s personal space. However, Bill grabbed Stan’s hand with his free one. He applied pressure, keeping the ice pack on his cheek.

“D-d-don’t go.”

How could he say no?

–

As the ice packs began to soften and grow warm, Bill decided that they should leave. When he put his shirt back on, wincing at the action, Stan couldn’t help but feel regret. They had a little time to kill before he needed to be home, so Bill drove them out to the quarry. They parked the car and walked to the edge of the cliff. The late day sun glittered off the water. Stan couldn’t help but remember their first ‘date.’ So much had changed. Bill was taciturn looking out over the horizon, but it didn’t last.

“I w-w-want you to know this isn’t over.”

“Bill –”

“I’m tired of b-b-being afraid, of w-w-watching my f-f-friends get hurt. Something n-n-needs to be d-d-done.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Aw are you w-w-worried about m-m-me?”

“I was scared they would kill you.”

“I w-w-won’t let it g-get that f-f-far.” 

“Promise me you’ll be careful.”

“Cross m-my heart.”

“That’s not funny, Bill.”

Bill let out a little laugh. “No I g-g-guess it’s not. B-b-but I promise all t-t-the same.”

Stan felt a chill at the back of his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a monster of a chapter, and I'm so excited to hear your thoughts on it! It might take me a little longer to update than I have been typically doing as I have several big projects due this upcoming week, so I am not sure that I will have a lot of time to write. Thank you for your patience, enthusiasm, and comments. I adore this project and you. Until next time.  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	10. Chapter 10

On Wednesday, Eddie had a follow up appointment with the doctor for his shoulder. He had missed second and third period as well as half of lunch. Once he was on campus he hurried to library, desperate to be reunited with his friends. 

The quietness of the library weighed heavily on Eddie. As he approached their usual spot he could hear his friends talking solemnly. He crept closer curious about what they were discussing.

“How’s Bill?” Richie was asking.

“He’ll be alright. I’m worried. He wants to fight Patrick again.” That was Stan.

“Good. I’ll help him.”

“Richie, you two could get hurt.”

“So what’s a few bruises and cuts? You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”

There was a sigh.

“Stan, you know you don’t right?” Beverly said.

“Forget it.”

“Besides they still deserve to be punished for what they did to Eddie.” 

Upon hearing his own name, Eddie’s heart was in his throat.

“You really like him, huh?” Beverly asked.

“Yeah. Have since we were kids.”

Eddie could barely hear the affirmation, but he knew Richie had that small smile that he reserved for when they were alone. He could hear it in his voice.

“Are you going to ask him out?”

“No.”

Numbness washed over Eddie.

“Why the hell not?” Stan asked.

“I don’t want what happened to you to happen to him. He’s strong, but he’s not like you Stan. His heart –”

“You don’t think I have a heart? That it doesn’t bleed like anyone else’s? Sure Eddie might be scared, but he’ll have you.”

“How do you know that’s enough?” The smallness in Richie’s voice broke Eddie’s heart.

“Because when I’m with Bill I can forget about all the rest.”

“He’s afraid I’ll leave him again.”

“And will you?” Beverly asked.

“No. I told him that, but he didn’t believe me.”

“Sometimes actions speak louder than words.” Beverly said. “It’s cute that you walk him to class, and keep him company when he would be in ballet. I’m sure Eddie is grateful for all those things.”

“But what if it’s not enough?”

“It’s enough.”

“I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

“And that’s the only thing holding you back?” Stan asked.

Richie must have nodded, as Eddie didn’t hear a response.

“I think you’ll have to talk to Eddie. Only he can determine what will hurt him or not,” Beverly said.

“Yeah you’re right.”

“Despite our past differences, you’re a good guy, Richie. I know you and Eddie will be able to work things out.”

Eddie’s heart raced. He had never thought that Richie might return his feelings. Sure they had danced around it for years, but after everything that had happened Eddie had resigned himself from loving from afar… But now afar seemed much more attainable. In that moment Eddie felt invincible, like he had just taken a hit of his inhaler, only much stronger. Richie liked him. He wanted to be with him. Eddie resolved to make a move, to meet Richie halfway.

The warning bell rang, and Eddie hurried away anxious not to be caught eavesdropping. He met his friends at the entrance of the library.

“Spaghedward!”

“How’s the shoulder?” Beverly asked.

Eddie shrugged, “doctor said I’m a quick healer. I should be able to return to ballet in another two weeks or so. Mom was so pleased she’s lifted my house arrest.”

“Really? That’s great news.”

Eddie nodded.

“We better get to class, so we’re not late.” Stan said.

They hurried down the halls, careful not to walk alone.

–

Eddie was able to walk to ballet with Richie, Stan, and Beverly after school. His newfound freedom left him delirious. Beverly and Stan were up ahead talking through the latest combination, allowing Eddie and Richie to walk side by side. Richie carried his skateboard under his arm, his steps apace with Eddie’s.

“So after we drop Staniel and Bev off do you want to go somewhere?” Richie asked.

Although the thought of going to Al’s or the library was exciting after Eddie’s isolation, he found he wanted nothing more than to have Richie to himself.

“Not today.”

“Okay.”

They said goodbye to Stan and Bev at the Ukrainian Club. Eddie was barely aware of his usual sadness of not being able to dance. He had too much on his mind. He stayed quiet the rest of the way home. Richie amused them with his voices, every now and then testing new jokes out on Eddie. But Eddie was too deep in his own thoughts to pay much attention.

Once they were back at the Kaspbrak residence, or as Richie insisted on calling it Casa de la Kaspbrack, Eddie felt like he couldn’t hold it in any longer. His mind had been looping in circles ever since he had overheard his friends in the library and if he didn’t speak up right now he was going to explode.

“I like you.”

“What?” Richie looked caught off guard.

“I like you.” Eddie tried to ignore the desperation wheedling into his voice.

Richie smiled, “Of course you do. We’re best friends.”

Eddie tried not to groan. How stupid could Richie be?

“No. I like like you.”

For the first time since knowing him, Richie was speechless. Eddie worried that he had misinterpreted everything Richie had said. He was about to take it all back, when Richie scooped him up in his arms, pressing him against the bedroom door. This close Eddie could see the brightness and warmth in Richie’s eyes.

“You mean it?”

Eddie nodded.

“Cause if you do, I’m going to kiss you and I’d hate for that –”

Eddie closed the distance between them, pressing his lips on Richie’s. The tightness in his chest exploded, and he was filled with the sensation of sparklers going off in his chest. He felt breathless for all the right reasons. Richie closed the distance even further, licking his way into Eddie’s mouth. Eddie should have been grossed out, but the fear of germs were far from the front of his mind. All he could think was how right this was. He tugged at Richie’s dark curls, causing the other boy to groan into his mouth and Eddie swallowed the sounds with satisfaction.

They only pulled apart when the need for oxygen became too great. They were both panting, lips bruised, staring at one another. Eddie knew he could never go back to how things were before.

“Wow.”

“That all you can say? Have I finally rendered the great Richie Tozier speechless?”

“I’m always speechless around you,” Richie said entwining his fingers in Eddie’s.

Eddie wasn’t used to the softness with which Richie had spoken with. “Guess we better find a new occupation for your mouth, then.”

“I can think of a few things.” Richie ducked his head with a smirk. Their second kiss was just as passionate as their first.

–

After making out for awhile, Eddie and Richie moved to his bed. They were lying on their backs, looking at the faded glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. They were holding hands, Richie was humming thoughtfully as he played with Eddie’s fingers.

“I want to take you out,” Richie said.

Eddie turned his head to look at the boy’s profile. “I’d like that.”

“We going to make this official then?”

“Yeah. I think we are.”

Richie smiled. “Good.”

Warmth filled Eddie up. He had never been so happy.

“You don’t care what Derry thinks?” Richie asked.

Eddie shook his head.

“After what happened with Bowers I was scared… I just don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“I know. But if Stan and Bill can manage I think we can too.”

“Yeah?” Richie turned to look at him.

“Yeah. And we have the others.”

“Okay.”

“Are you worried?” Eddie asked.

“I don’t care what they do to me, but if they touch you they’re dead.”

Eddie pulled Richie to him. “I care what happens to you, so you can’t go off and get into fights. I don’t want you to end up in the hospital or worse. Do you understand?”

Richie melted under Eddie’s gaze, “yeah, Eds. I got you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Eddie could tell that Richie was thinking back to what had happened to Bill, to Stan. He knew Richie wasn’t going to let it go so easily, but he was determined not to let this town touch Richie. He pulled Richie into a searing kiss, hoping that Richie would understand how much this meant to him. Richie pulled away, studying Eddie.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

Eddie smiled, “guess our luck was bound to change.”

“Guess it was.” Richie leaned in kissing Eddie.

–

The next day, Stan was grabbing his textbooks from his locker when Eddie ran up to him.

“Stan, I need to tell you something!”

“Good morning to you too.”

“Stan, this is serious!”

Stan turned to him giving him is full attention. “Okay.”

“Richie and I kissed yesterday.”

A wave of emotions crashed over Stan, rendering him incapable of responding. At first was relief, Bill’s stupid plan was working. Then there was the thought that it was about damn time, followed by the realization that Stan was the odd man out. Everything with Bill was fake, and while Bev and Eddie didn’t know that, Stan had yet to experience a first kiss or falling in love. Sadness pooled in his fingertips making them tingle. Finally he managed to speak.

“Well it’s about damn time that Richie get his head out of his ass.”

“You can’t be so mean to him now that we’re dating.”

Stan raised his eyebrows, “if I don’t keep that boy in check no one will. Lord knows you’re too soft on him.”

Eddie blushed, but Stan could tell he was pleased. “I’m happy for you, Eddie.”

“Thanks, Stan.”

“C’mon we better get to homeroom and tell Bev.”

Eddie’s enthusiasm was reignited as they headed down the halls. Stan tried to ignore the jealousy that hid behind his smile. After all he should be happy, Eddie and Richie getting together was the whole point of this stupid charade. So why was he left feeling so empty?

–

After telling Bev it wasn’t long until the Derry Prep boys found out the good news. In the group chat there were congratulations and a promise to meet up at the lacrosse game later.

After Georgie’s lacrosse game Eddie and Richie left to go out on a first date. They had decided to go to a drive in movie theater out of town and grab dinner. Beverly convinced Ben and Stan that after the Varsity game would be a perfect night for a double date. Stan had been dreading this. He wasn’t sure their act could hold up to Bev’s scrutiny one on one, but there was no getting out of it. After the game Ben offered to drive them to Al’s since he had the nicest car.

Bill said goodbye to his brother before heading over to where the others were waiting. The bruise on Bill’s cheek was dark purple, like a perpetual shadow or smudged paint. Although his knuckles had healed a bit they were still raw across the bone and looked sensitive to the touch. Stan knew that his ribs were probably a fucking Jackson Pollock painting under his shirt. He winced at the thought.

As Ben drove, he and Beverly held hands singing to the song on the radio. At every stop sign and red light, Ben would glance over at Bev or kiss her on the knuckles. It was cute, if not a little sickening. Beverly glowed under Ben’s adoration.

Stan smiled. He had known Beverly for a long time, but they hadn’t gotten close until around eighth grade. At first she had filled in for the absent Richie, making their duo a trio again, but soon it became clear that she was more than just a substitute. She pushed Eddie and Stan. She was bright and fearless. She challenged them to be braver. But Stan knew that she battled her own demons, that her home life was hell, and that her reputation wasn’t the best. He knew he and Eddie certainly didn’t help things. Everyone considered her a slut, and the fact that she only had guy friends, who everyone thought were gay, certainly didn’t help matters. But they loved her, and she loved them, so they were able to forget the rest. He was happy to see how well she and Ben got along, that she had found someone who could love her in a way they couldn’t.

Stan had never seen Bev so vulnerable or soft around anyone until Ben came along. Ben hadn’t cared what people said about her. He saw the same light in her that Stan and Eddie had, and he loved her for it. They were good for one another.

When they got to Al’s, Ben held the door and Beverly teased him for being a gentleman but there was no cruelty in her words. There was something domestic, and familiar about it. Stan felt an ache in his chest which he couldn’t begin to define. His fingers tingled and he clenched them to distract himself.

Beverly got them a table in the back, not Stan and Bill’s usual booth, but close. They settled in. Ben put his arm around Bev, with a confidence that surprised Stan. He felt them watching him and Bill, so not to be outdone he took Bill’s hand in his own, careful of the healing skin. 

“This is so cliché.” Beverly laughed breaking the tension.

“Next thing you know we’ll be sharing milkshakes,” Ben said.

Stan felt his heartbeat double. Bill squeezed his hand gently, a soft smile on his lips.

They put in their orders before the relaxing lull of conversation returned.

“So how’re you healing up?” Bev asked.

“Slowly. I f-f-feel like I fell off t-t-the v-v-vert at the skateboard p-park.”

Although none of them knew what the vert was, it still sounded painful.

“I can’t believe the nerve of those guys.”

“I s-s-started it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. They did the moment they came after Stan.” Beverly said. “It just makes me so mad that our school doesn’t do anything to protect its students.”

“It’s D-d-derry, what m-m-more do you expect?”

“I don’t know, but we can’t use that as an excuse. It makes me want to do something about it.”

“Like what?” Stan asked.

“I think we should start a GSA.”

“What?”

“Ben and I were talking about it. Neither of our schools have a gay-straight alliance, but maybe they should. Then there would be a group of safe, supportive people. No one would have to face it alone.”

“Also there would need to be teacher advisers, and they could help prevent things like what happened Tuesday from occurring,” Ben added.

“It’s n-n-not a b-b-bad idea.”

Beverly beamed.

“Who do you think we could get as an adviser?” Stan asked.

“I wasn’t sure. I was think of asking Madame Wallace, as she’s spent time in France and is more cosmopolitan than anyone else at our school.”

Madame Wallace was their French teacher. They had had her for three years now, and Beverly adored her. She was a pretty young woman, younger than most of their teachers, who had spent a lot of time abroad. Due to her travels she dressed much better than anyone else in Derry and she believed in her students. Last spring, she had come to their ballet showcase at the Ukrainian Club. She was probably their best choice.

“And I thought about talking to some of the guys at Derry Prep, seeing if there would be any interest there,” Ben said looking at Bill.

“I w-w-wonder if w-w-we could m-m-make it a j-j-joint club b-b-between the two schools.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that!” Beverly’s eyes shone bright.

“It’s worth a shot.” Ben said.

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed, but there was no denying the happiness in his eyes.

“On to happier things. I can’t believe you two actually used our movie marathon as an excuse to go make out,” Beverly teased.

Stan groaned. “Can we drop it? How about we talk about Richie and Eddie.”

“You’re not going to change the topic on me that quickly! So is Bill a good kisser?”

Stan flushed, Ben looked sympathetic.

“C’mon, Stan. You haven’t told me or Eddie any details!”

“Isn’t this usually the kind of question you ask when the boyfriend isn’t present?”

Bill laughed softly. “I d-d-don’t mind t-telling them about it.”

Sometimes Bill really could be the worst.

“Do tell.”

“Stan w-w-was c-c-cute about it. He w-w-was really shy.”

“Oh my god.” He could not believe this was happening.

“Please tell me you didn’t actually have sex in my bathroom.”

Bill laughed. “N-nah. Just some h-heavy petting.”

“Jesus Christ.” Ben said looking away. Stan could relate.

Beverly’s smirk was down right devious. “You’re good for him. You get him out of his shell.”

“I’m right here, you know.”

“Hush, sweetie, you had your chance to give me details but you declined.”

Stan groaned pushing the heel of his hand into his eyes. Jews didn’t believe in hell, but if they did this would be it.

“C’mon s-s-sweetheart, it’s n-n-not all b-b-bad.” Bill was laughing.

Stan shot him the deadliest expression he could manage.

“I seem to remember you b-b-begging me f-f-for more.”

Beverly laughed.

“I’m going to kill you, Denbrough.”

“Is that a challenge?” Bill asked licking his lips.

Oh. My. God. 

Stan hated him.

He turned to Beverly. “Do you see what I have to deal with.”

“You two are sweet.”

Stan banged his head on the table with a groan. This only caused the others to laugh at him. When Stan lifted his head to repeat the motion Bill placed his free hand on Stan’s chin turning Stan to look at him.

“Stop sweetheart, j-j-just cause I’m all b-b-black and blue d-d-doesn’t mean you need to b-b-be.”

Stan huffed. He turned in his seat so he wouldn’t have to look at Bill.

Luckily they seemed satisfied with his level of embarrassment and the conversation was allowed to move on.

Bill asked Ben how he and Bev had met, and Stan got to hear Ben’s side of things. What came out was a halting account of their meeting, with Beverly’s enthusiastic interruptions. It was sweet, how in sync they were telling the story, and the ache from before returned. Stan watched how comfortable they were with one another, how easily they shared the narrative. Beverly blushed, at times, and Stan remembered that for all her confidence, Ben was her first serious boyfriend. He helped her and fortified her, and Stan had never known either of them to be so happy. They were good for one another.

Stan couldn’t help as the ache inside him grew. He longed for something like what Ben and Bev had. Something real. Comfortable. He didn’t want to fake being in love. He wanted to know how it felt to have a loved one’s hand in his own. To feel their lips on his own, on his throat while their fingers tangled in his hair. He didn’t want to be alone, not that he could tell his friends that. He wanted to be honest to someone, but the only person was – 

“H-hey, you alright?” Bill asked. Beverly and Ben were too caught up in their own flirtations and didn’t notice.

Stan forced himself to relax. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Bill gave him a small smile.

And even though the affection was fake, Stan couldn’t help but find comfort in it. He wondered how they could go back to being strangers once this was done. Was it even possible? Maybe they could stay friends. The word sat heavily with Stan. It felt wrong.

He looked over at Bill and a temporary calm replaced his heartache and anxieties. 

– 

After dinner, Ben dropped Stan and Bill off at Bill’s car which was still at Derry Prep.

“Thanks for doing this, I had a lot of fun,” Beverly said hugging Stan.

He relaxed in her embrace. “I’m glad we did.”

“And I’m sorry if our teasing went to far, it’s just you and Bill really are a cute couple.” She said pulling apart.

He nodded unsure what to say.

“Have a good night, Stan.”

“You too, Bev.”

He watched as she walked back to where Ben was waiting. He could imagine them driving back to her place stopping just down the block. In his mind’s eye he could see Ben’s shy ramblings that would lead up to a good night kiss. His heart swelled at the thought. The warmth remained long after Ben’s tail lights had disappeared.

“You r-r-ready to g-g-go?” Bill asked.

Stan nodded. He rejoined Bill, and got into his car. The heady scent surrounded him, and Stan felt relief that he no longer had to pretend.

“I think t-t-that went w-w-well.”

Stan nodded. He felt exhausted.

Rock and roll blared from Bill’s radio as he drove Stan home. They stopped at the end of Stan’s block so that his parents wouldn’t see Bill’s car.

“Someone I know is h-h-having a p-party this S-saturday. I think w-w-we should g-g-go.”

Stan nodded. “Alright.”

“I t-t-thought m-m-maybe we c-c-could h-hang out on F-Friday? I could t-t-teach you to skateboard then, if you s-s-still w-w-want?”

Stan looked over at Bill. While he remembered asking to learn he hadn’t thought that Bill would take him up on his request. “I’d like that.”

Bill smiled, “c-c-cool. I’ll p-p-pick you up after d-d-dinner?”

“Perfect.”

“It’s a d-d-date,” teased Bill.

“It’s a date.”

“I’ll see you t-t-tommorrow.”

“Good night, Bill.”

“Night, Stan.”

Stan got out of the car and walked back to his house. It was funny how closely that scenario matched his imagined one for Bev. All that was missing was a goodnight kiss. Stan dismissed the unbidden thought almost as quickly as it had come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support of this story! I am so glad you all are enjoying it. Please leave me a comment telling me your predictions for Stan and Bill's "date" or what you thought about this chapter's Reddie content. I love hearing what you have to say. Another update will hopefully be up soon! Thank you again, I hope you are all doing well!  
> Yrs.  
> TWoW


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone who has commented, bookmarked, subscribed, and left a kudos. This one's for you.

All of Friday, Stan felt nervous butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t used to this feeling. It felt like how a first date should feel, a real first date. But that was ridiculous, he and Bill had been doing this for awhile. It was silly for Stan to feel nervous. He was overthinking. Throughout the day, he found himself reaching for his copy of _Ender’s Game_ ; like it was a talisman. He was mostly done annotating it, but there were still some passages for which he was looking. He couldn’t help but laugh, all this annotation for an argument which only existed in his head. An argument who’s thesis he didn’t even know. But a theoretical paper was better than thinking about this evening.

At lunch, while Eddie was curled under Richie’s arm, Stan asked Richie if falling off a skateboard hurt.

“Like a bitch,” Richie said.

Eddie elbowed him. “You’re supposed to be reassuring.”

“What? He asked.”

“Bill is teaching him to skateboard today.”

“Shit, my bad. Big Bill won’t let you fall.”

Stan didn’t feel comforted. “Bill said you fell a lot when you were learning.”

“Yeah, because I wasn’t careful and I didn’t have someone to hold my hand. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Skateboarding is like a relationship.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow at Richie daring him to continue with his comparison.

“You gotta commit. Once you do everything becomes easier.” Richie looked at Eddie, both of them melting a little.

Stan looked over to Beverly to give them some privacy.

“I’ve never skateboarded so I can’t speak to that comparison, but I think it’s really great that you’re willing to leave your comfort zone.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. You’re showing Bill that you’re interested in his interests, even if they terrify you. It’s cute.”

Stan’s thoughts spiraled.

Beverly took his hand, bringing his focus back to her. “You’re a good boyfriend, Stan. You need to stop over analyzing it all and just enjoy the ride. Bill likes you, and no matter how foolish you might look this evening, he’s still going to like you.”

“Thanks, Bev.” God, he felt guilty.

She smiled. “Of course, Stan. I’ve got your back.”

“We all do,” Richie said.

Eddie nodded.

Stan relaxed a little, letting his worries drift away. He didn’t want to think about why he was suddenly so nervous around Bill. He knew knowing why was only going to complicate things. As the conversation picked up around him, Stan reached for his book and a pen. He felt Eddie watching him, but he didn’t feel like talking about his heartache anymore. Soon he was lost in space, following Ender to the stars.

–

In ballet, the ballet master had each couple perform the pas de deux they had been learning. Stan was especially grateful for ballet today as it was a way for him to forget about everything. He concentrated on the counts, holding onto Bev – lifting her – the familiar music carrying them. He didn’t worry about the other students watching him. Right now the only people in the world were Beverly and him, and the only thing that mattered was the music. While Stan danced he felt something he hadn’t in a long time. By the end, even the ballet teacher looked pleased. He gave some notes, and although he wouldn’t say it they knew he was pleased. 

After class, the nerves returned in droves. Beverly wished him luck, squeezing his hand, before turning back to her own house. Her warmth grounded him, but not for long. Stan walked home, relying on his feet to guide him rather than using his head. He was beginning to worry about what to wear and if he was about to make a fool of himself. He chewed at his lip until the skin was chapped and raw.

He ate dinner, briefly answering their questions and barely tasting the food. He thought it might be casserole, but then again he could be wrong. Whatever it was was soggy and unappealing and tasted like sand.

As he went to leave his mother caught his arm, “going out again?”

“Yeah. I’m studying with some friends at the library.”

“Alright then.”

He hurried out of the house. Seeing Bill’s car made his stomach flip. He didn’t even think that his parents might be watching him as he ran to the sidewalk. Bill pulled up along the curb, rolling down the passenger window.

“Y-y-you ready?” The bastard was smirking.

Stan got in, trying to ignore the heat that was rushing to his cheeks.

“A-a-are your p-p-parents expecting you h-h-home anytime soon?”

“No. I told them that Eddie, Bev, and I would be study for a test at the library for awhile. So I’m all yours.”

“C-c-c-c-cool.”

Stan turned to Bill and saw that the other boy was blushing.

“So this skateboarding thing, do you think I’m going to fall on my ass?”

Bill laughed. “Sweetheart, I d-don’t think you could f-fall on your ass even if you w-w-w-were skateboarding on ice.”

“You have a lot of faith in me.”

“You’re a d-d-dancer.”

“Dancing isn’t on wheels, thank you very much. It’s on flat ground. Besides I read that skateboarding feels like falling.”

“You d-d-did research?”

Stan flushed. He was not about to tell Bill how he spent two hours last night watching skateboarding videos and reading how-to articles. It was embarrassing. Instead he just looked out his window. Bill laughed.

“T-t-that’s adorable. B-b-besides I’ll be there. I w-w-won’t let you f-f-fall.”

Stan huffed. This was getting ridiculous. They weren’t even pretending for anyone right now. What the hell was going on? Why was Stan enjoying this repartee so much?

“Unless you’re afraid.”

“I am not afraid.” Stan whipped his head around.

It was only when Stan saw Bill’s smirk that he realized he was being teased. He rolled his eyes and repeated more quietly, “I’m not.”

“Alright, Stan. I’ll b-b-believe it when I see it.”

Silence fell over the two of them, and Bill turned up his radio – 50’s rock and roll blared through the car. Stan couldn’t help but smile at it.

When they arrived at the Derry Skatepark, it was full of kids killing time avoiding homework; teens doing tricks down ramps and stairs that made Stan’s stomach drop at the thought of Bill or Richie doing such things. It was loud and chaotic, and suddenly Stan was worried that he was about to make a fool of himself.

“Bill, I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”

“W-w-why not?”

“There are so many people.”

“So?”

“So they’re so much better than I am.”

“Y-y-you’re trying something for the f-f-first time. They w-w-won’t hold that a-a-against you. And if a-a-anyone wants to t-t-try something I’ll f-f-fight them for you.”

“That’s not funny.”

“S-s-sorry.”

Stan softened. “Alright, we going to do this or what?”

“We d-d-don’t have to. W-w-we could just g-g-go to Al’s –”

“Bill, I want to. Come on.”

And feeling braver than he actually was Stan got out of the car forcing Bill to follow.

Bill moved around to his car’s trunk where he he had stowed his board. He pulled it out, leaning it against the tail lights, before pulling out pads and a helmet. Stan stared at them skeptically.

“T-t-these were G-g-georgie’s so they m-m-might be a little s-s-small.”

Stan took the pads and begin to put them on. He felt clumsy and awkward, his fingers struggling to hold the pad and tighten it.

“H-h-here, let me h-h-help you.”

He moved into Stan’s personal space, his fingers agilely tightening the straps. Once he was done, Stan almost swore he could still feel Bill’s hands on him, a phantom, tingling sensation. He put on the helmet.

“How do I look?”

“Ready to ride.” Bill said passing him the board.

Stan forced a smile as he accepted the awkward object. Bill was right, the helmet was a little tight, but Stan was grateful that he had thought to bring the protective equipment. 

“Okay then, let’s do this.”

Bill took his hand and led him into the park. They found a flat area that was largely unpopulated and Stan set the board down.

“Alright, l-l-let’s start by discussing how you’re going to ride the board. W-w-what’s your dominant side?”

“Right.”

“Alright, t-t-that means you’re going to ride regular. So I’m going to start by h-having you put your left foot above the front wheels of the board.”

Tentatively, Stan put his left foot on the board. He rolled it under him, experimenting with shifting his weight. The websites were right, it did feel like walking on ice.

“G-g-good. B-b-bend your knees a little? Now I want to see you try and push.”

Stan hopped a bit, his right leg pushing the board across the smooth asphalt. It was a jerky motion. He felt foolish as he shifted his weight back and forth. He looked over his shoulder to find Bill watching him.

“You’re laughing at me.”

“N-n-no.”

“It’s okay, I know I’m bad at this.”

“I t-t-think you need to keep your w-weight more on the board. Then you don’t n-n-need to switch so m-much.”

Stan nodded. He understood the concept from ballet. There was a working leg, and a supporting leg. The supporting leg took all the weight so that the working leg could do _battements_ , _tendues_ , or _fouettes_ without being slowed down by the dancers’ weight. Something clicked. Stan began to examine what he was doing from a dancers perspective. As he placed his left leg on the board he shifted all his weight to it. Everything was aligned. He held his core, willing himself not to fall, and he pushed forward. Instead of the awkward hop he swept his foot, like a battement. He reminded himself to bend his legs as he had gotten a little stiff, _plie_ he laughed to himself. Bill’s skateboard rattled under him as he rolled across the pavement. As he placed his right leg on the board he wobbled a little. He adjusted his center of gravity.

He was flying.

His heart was in his throat, and he could feel every bump and jolt in his legs, but he was alive. He felt himself turning to the right, and he leaned into it. He turned to face Bill and he saw a look of awe on the other boy’s face. He rode back to him, kicking the board up by its tail as he had seen others do in the past.

“H-h-holy shit.”

“Yeah?”

“Y-y-yeah, you t-t-took to that e-e-even b-b-better than Richie.”

Stan felt heat burning his cheeks.

“A-a-and you’ve never skateboarded b-b-before?”

“Nope.”

“H-h-how?”

“You were right, I’m a dancer. They’re surprisingly similar.”

“I-I’d like to see you d-d-dance someday. If it’s a-a-anything like what you j-j-just did I’m s-s-sure you’re incredible.”

“You’ll see me dance at prom.”

“N-n-not what I meant.”

Stan couldn’t imagine showing Bill that part of him.

“W-w-want to try riding a-a-again?”

Stan nodded. He shifted his weight back to his left, settling it all on his heel. The board shot forward. Stan fell back. He expected to hit the pavement, but Bill caught him around his waist. His head hitting Bill’s shoulder.

“Steady t-t-there. Are you a-a-alright?”

Stan’s breath had been knocked from him. His eyes met Bill’s admiring how they looked in the fading light. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Couldn’t l-l-let you f-f-fall.”

Stan righted himself, straightening his shirt. He retrieved Bill’s board from where it was in the grass. Carefully he put his foot on it and rode back to Bill. He had a greater appreciation for the skill it took to ride the board.

“You’re a n-n-natural.”

Stan blushed.

“D-d-do you w-want to try something a l-l-little harder?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“H-h-how about an ollie?” Bill suggested innocently.

“Guess you better show me how it’s done.”

Stan kicked the board up, passing it to Bill. Bill began to ride, whatever he had said about Stan being a natural was nothing compared to how easily Bill rode across the ground. Once he gained speed, Stan saw him adjust his footing and before he could follow what Bill had done Bill popped his board up before landing on it. He curved around and rode back to Stan. His cheeks were flushed from the cool wind and his eyes were sparkling. He was challenging Stan. And maybe because of the adrenaline rushing through his veins, Stan wasn’t going to back down.

“T-t-think you can m-m-manage that?”

“Let’s see how good a teacher you are.”

Bill laughed. 

He showed Stan the movement, how to shift his weight to his back leg while scraping his front across the board. They practiced it a few times on flat ground, Stan feeling ridiculous as ever. It was only Bill’s smile that prevented him from quitting.

Bill guided Stan onto the board so that both his feet were perpendicular to the long edge. It was foreign. If Stan shifted his weight to the balls of his feet or his heels he could feel the board slant with him, like it was trying to slide him off. Maybe he would have lost his balance, butBill didn’t let go of his hands.

“O-okay now we’re just g-g-going to try what we were doing on flat ground on the b-b-board.”

Stan looked at him skeptically, but nonetheless he did as Bill asked. The board shook under Stan as he tried to imitate what he had seen Bill do. It then flew out from under him, flipping once, before rolling away.

“G-g-good first try.”

Stan rolled his eyes going to get the board.

“H-h-here, I’ll do it w-w-with you.” Bill took Stan’s hands once more.

Stan stood on the board. He shifted his back ankle, testing the grip, before kicking off. Bill mirrored him. The board lifted from the ground before both wheels came down at the same time.

“C-c-closer. Just commit. You g-g-got this.”

Stan returned his feet to the starting position. He crouched down, testing his balance. As he shifted his weight to the back, he slid his toe along the front of the board. It lifted. With a flick of his ankle he sent the board back to the ground. This time the skateboard landed front wheels followed by the back ones.

“You g-g-got it!”

“I had a good teacher.”

Bill and Stan looked at each other for a moment too long. Belatedly Stan withdrew his hands from Bill’s. He missed how grounded the other boy made him feel. Bill stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking down.

“Show me what you’ve got.”

“H-huh?”

“Isn’t that what boyfriends do? Show off for each other?”

“S-s-sure.”

Bill took the skateboard and went off. Stan watched him as the other boy ollied before doing a progression of flips and jumps. He saw Bill go up a ramp one direction and come speeding down the other. He was traveling fast, faster than Stan would have ever dared. He looked like he could outrun just about anything.

He returned to Stan and circled around him before flipping his board and catching it. He was bright eyed and breathless.

“Who’s your friend, Big Bill?”

Bill turned to find another boy approaching them. He was slim, like Bill, but he was a little taller. His hair had been bleached an unnatural blond. Stan moved closer to Bill. Bill wrapped his arm around Stan’s waist.

“Stan this is V-vic. Vic m-m-meet my b-b-boyfriend, Stan.”

“Heard you were going around with a townie, didn’t know it was a guy.”

“You g-g-got a problem with that?”

“No. Why should I give a shit? It’s your relationship. Will I see you and Rich at my party tomorrow?”

“Y-yeah.”

“How about you, Stan? Big Bill gonna bring you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. It’ll be fun. I’ll see you there.” Vic skateboarded off.

Once the other boy was gone Stan turned to Bill. “How do you know him?”

“H-h-he goes to DP w-w-with me. He’s k-k-kinda my d-d-dealer.”

“Oh.”

“We d-don’t have to g-g-go –”

“No. I want to.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Stan wasn’t about to chicken out. Part of him wanted to see what going to a party with Bill was like. Call it a morbid curiosity.

–

Stan didn’t know what to expect at Vic’s party. He should have known that Vic was one of the rich DP boys, should have seen the signs, but all the Derry Prep boys that Stan did know were so normal. Bill, Mike, and Ben didn’t come from Derry’s affluent families they were just smart and their parents had wanted to give them the best. Vic wasn’t like that. His parents had probably bought his placement at Derry Prep. That was clear as soon as Bill pulled up to Vic’s home.

The place was nice, a lot nicer than most of Derry.

“Holy shit.”

“H-h-his father is the f-f-first selectman.”

“And his son deals the best weed in Derry,” Richie said.

Eddie elbowed him. “Don’t be crass.”

“Ha, crass about grass.” Richie held up his hand for a high five, but no one gave it to him. “You guys are no fun.”

“We’re supposed to have fun in there?” Eddie asked.

“C’mon Eds, we’ll have a ball. I bet your skinny ass will look good on the dance floor.”

“You’re one to talk, you’re like a walking stick.”

Richie laughed. “Touché.”

“W-we should g-g-go. I’m sure the others are w-w-wondering where w-we are.”

The four boys got out of the car and began to walk up the short pathway to the front of the house. The noise was almost deafening. Stan couldn’t imagine how the neighbors hadn’t already called the police.

Inside, it was clear that it had been a nice house, but it was covered in party paraphanelia. Half empty beer bottles lay strewn around the foyer. Red solo cups, with ominous sticky liquids, were spilled across the floor. The smell of sweat and weed clung to everything. While Stan had thought Mike’s party was something, this was ten times that. They pushed against the crush of bodies making their way further into the house. In the living room all the furniture had been pushed to the edges of the room creating a makeshift dance floor. 

Under the strobing lights, Stan could just make out Beverly dancing with Ben. They were both flushed from the heat of the room, but they looked deliriously happy. Their love was intoxicating. Stan could get drunk off watching them.

Bill and Richie led them past the living room towards the kitchen. On the way they passed the dining room. The fancy mahogany table was covered in cups and bottles of booze.

“Where did he get all that?” Eddie had to shout to be heard.

“Older brother,” Richie said.

Stan saw how closely Eddie clung to Richie. It was sweet. It was different than Bev and Ben, more careful. But the way they acted was almost cosmic, like they were destined to be. Stan snorted at the thought. It was foolish, but he they made him want to believe in soulmates.

“W-w-want something to d-drink?”

Stan nodded and the two of them made the way to the table. There was a big dark bottle of Jaeger, three or four bottles of vodka, whiskey, several bottles of rum, six bottles of tequila, and a handful of mixers.

“W-w-what do you want?”

“I don’t know.” Stan had never really drunk before. Sure he’d had a sip of wine from his mother’s glass and he’d tried beer, but he’d never drunk to get drunk.

Bill seemed to understand and he mixed up a rum and coke. “T-t-try this.”

The drink was sugary. Stan could barely taste the alcohol. He didn’t know how dangerous that could be.

“Richie! Big Bill!” 

Vic stumbled into the room. He laughed and slung his arm around the two boys pulling them away from their boyfriends. “Come do Jaeger bombs with me.”

Richie and Bill laughed. Vic dragged them over to the table. Stan watched curiously as Vic pulled out three shot glasses and filled them to the brim with Jaegar. From where he and Eddie were standing they could smell the thick licorice scent. Vic then poured three lowball glasses of red bull. While pouring the last he spilled the majority of the can across the table and had to get another. Stan didn’t want to think about how sticky the table was going to be in the morning. Vic grinned wolfishly before passing out the glasses.

“To never growing up!”

Richie and Bill said nothing. They dropped their shot glasses into their cups before chugging the drink. It was monstrous, almost obscene. Stan couldn’t look away.

“What do you boys say to getting high?” Vic asked when he was done.

“Eddie?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, okay.”

“What do you say, Big Bill?” Vic asked.

Bill looked over at Stan before shaking his head.

“If you change your mind you know where to find me.”

Vic led Eddie and Richie out to the back porch.

“You should go with them, if you want,” Stan said.

“M-m-maybe later. I’d rather stay w-w-with you.”

Stan smiled.

They moved out of the dining room to the kitchen. There were fewer people in there, but it was still crowded. A cooler was on the ground with different beers. Bill grabbed one before moving over to a familiar face.

“M-mike!”

“Hey guys.” Mike smiled at them. He was leaning against the counter drinking a beer of his own.

Bill and Stan made their way over to the counter. Bill wrapped his arm around Stan’s shoulders as the three friends talked.

After awhile Stan noticed his cup was empty. He frowned. He didn’t remember when that had happened.

“I’m going to get another,” he said.

“W-w-want me to g-g-go with?”

“That’s okay. Thanks, Bill.”

Bill nodded, and Stan pushed his way through the crowd. He stumbled a little, but managed to get through. By the time he had made it to the dining room he was sweating.

“Hey, cutie. Wanna do a shot with us?”

Stan looked over to where a group of girls were standing in a tight knot. The one who had spoken was clearly the leader and in her hand was the bottle of tequila.

Stan nodded, not seeing the harm. And after the girl had poured out a shot he downed it. His throat was on fire and tears sprung to his eyes. His mouth tasted pepper, which was perhaps the most unexpected part. And his throat? His throat was on fire which warmed him deliciously to the core. He had never felt so warm.

The girls giggled at his response, but it wasn’t cruel. They understood, Stan had never felt so understood. 

“Another?”

Stan nodded. The second shot caused the warmth in his stomach to burn brighter.

“Three, for luck.”

The third was electric.

As the girls left, the leader kissed him on the cheek. Stan poured himself a drink. He poured a lot of alcohol into his cup, but after the shots nothing could taste as bad. He wandered back into the hall. There he saw a line of people outside the bathroom. In that line Beverly was talking to a girl Stan recognized from their French class. Eva or Ava? He drifted closer to them.

“I want to ask Madame Wallace to be an adviser? What do you think?”

“I think it’s wonderful, Bev. I’ll totally support you,” Eva/Ava said clutching Beverly’s hand.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s about time someone stood up for what’s right in this town. Things are so backward here, it’s like it’s the fucking 1950s.”

“I totally agree. I’ve been talking to some other people at this party and they seem to agree. There might even be a Derry Prep chapter of the GSA, could you imagine?”

“Derry Prep isn’t what I’d call progressive.”

“Well my boyfriend thinks he and some of the others could convince the faculty –”

Stan drifted away. He felt warm, and not just because of the alcohol. He was touched that his friends cared this much and were willing to fight for them. If anyone could convince Derry to change it would be Bev. There wasn’t anything she couldn’t do.

Stan felt giddy by the time he reached the kitchen. The crowd had thinned and Stan easily found his way back to Mike. There was no sign of Bill.

“Where’s Bill?”

“Vic insisted he go smoke a little.”

“Oh.” Stan was surprised by how heavily his disappointment hit.

“We could go to the porch and find him.”

Stan shook his head.

“Stan, you feeling alright? You look flushed.”

Stan was about to tell him that he was fine when Avril Lavigne’s “Skater Boy” came on in the other room. Stan’s eyes widened. “Oh my god I love this song. We have to go.”

“Go?”

Before Mike could protest further Stan dragged him into the living room. The song was deafening in here as drunk teens scream-sung at the top of their lungs. Somehow in the chaos Stan found where Bev, Eva/Ava, Ben and another girl he didn’t know were dancing. They widened their circle to allow the boys to join.

Stan began dancing, letting the music flow through his body. He saw how close the other couples were and craving intimacy, Stan drunkenly pulled Mike’s hands to his hips. The other boy tried to pull away, but Stan wouldn’t let him. He needed to be touched.

Beverly was singing at Stan and amid his euphoria he realized this song was about him and Bill. How could he be so stupid? He was just as ill suited for Bill as the girl in the song was. It struck him harder than any physical blow could have. Somewhere out there there was a girl, who was Bill’s perfect match. A girl who was worthy of Bill, who was smart enough and pretty and kind. Who liked Bill’s stutter just as much as Stan. Who saw how Bill cared for his friends, cared for Georgie, and in turn loved them. And as these thoughts came Stan realized he was crying.

The others had yet to notice, so he could save face and escape. He dropped his hands from Mike’s, allowing the other boy to pull away. He muttered something about needing a drink and turned to leave. He exited the writhing mass of bodies and as he ran into the hall he bumped into Bill.

“S-s-stan?

It was funny. Bill was so soft-spoken, but Stan could make out his voice even in a crowd. Stan didn’t want to think about why that was. He wrapped his arms around Bill, not worrying about the consequences and he just clung to the other boy.

“W-w-what’s wrong?”

“You deserve so much love.” Stan said into Bill’s sweatshirt.

He felt the other boy relax a little, tentatively wrapping his arms around Stan.

“W-w-where’s this coming from?”

Stan sniffled. “You deserve so much better than me.”

“W-w-what do you mean? Stan are you d-d-drunk?”

Stan nodded. There was no denying it. He was absolutely gone.

“Let’s g-g-get some fresh air. C’mon.”

Bill led Stan back through the foyer out into the garden. The air felt good against Stan’s cheeks and while his head began to clear; his sorrow remained like a heavy mantle.Uunshakable and all consuming.

“N-n-now what were you saying?”

“You deserve the world, Bill. You deserve to be loved by someone wonderful. It’s not fair that I’m holding you back.”

“H-h-holding me back?” 

“From finding some beautiful, wonderful, girl.”

“I d-d-don’t want some b-b-beautiful, w-w-wonderful, girl. She sounds b-b-boring.”

“She’s your soulmate.” Stan hiccuped.

“I d-d-disagree.”

Stan looked up at Bill unconvinced.

“But you deserve someone like that.”

“E-e-enough about d-d-deserving. People d-d-don’t deserve people, that m-m-makes it sound like y-y-you have to be w-w-worthy of love w-w-which is bullshit.”

Stan was surprised at Bill’s vigor.

“You’re ex didn’t deserve you.”

“W-we were immature.”

“She wanted to change you, but you’re perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, Stan.”

“Shut up, you are. And you deserve someone that’s just as good, and kind, and smart as you.”

“Do you really s-s-see me like t-that?”

“Yes.”

Bill looked out into the darkness thinking.

Behind them they could hear the sounds of the party raging on.

“H-how much d-d-did you h-h-have to drink?”

“A lot.”

“W-w-were you planning on going h-h-home after this.”

“Yeah.”

“S-s-stay over at m-m-mine.”

“What?”

“You’re probably g-g-going to be throwing up t-t-tonight and I’d h-h-hate for your parents to f-f-find out that you snuck out that w-w-way.”

Stan hadn’t thought of that. “And you’re willing to look out for me?”

“It’s w-w-what good b-b-boyfriends d-do.”

He sounded so sad. Stan didn’t want Bill to be sad. He curled up against Bill hoping somehow to comfort Bill. Idly Bill began to run his fingers through Stan’s curls.

Once they were ready they went back inside. Stan felt off kilter, but having Bill by his side helped. They rejoined the group. Eddie and Richie came in from outside smelling strongly of weed. They were dancing, a jumble of limbs, and every so often Richie would dip his head to kiss Eddie. They were safe in the anonymity of darkness. Again, Stan thought about soulmates.

“God, those two are worse with PDA than you and Bill,” Mike laughed.

Stan nodded, vaguely he wondered if he and Bill weren’t be obvious enough. He grabbed Bill’s hands wrapping them around his hips.

Bill looked surprised.

“We can’t let Richie and Eddie outdo us now.”

Bill laughed.

“D-didn’t know you w-were so competitive.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Denbrough.”

Bill ducked his head into Stan’s shoulder.

Their friends laughed, and even if Stan was drunk and had cried he knew that he was having fun. He liked Bill’s hands on him. It grounded him. 

The group decided to head out as the party began to die down.

“Sunday brunch?” Mike asked.

“Al’s? Then we could go to the clubhouse,” Ben said.

Everyone agreed that that sounded perfect. They decided to meet up at a decent hour, around eleven, to give everyone time to sleep. 

Bill drove to Eddie’s first.

“I’ll get out here,” Richie said.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, a walk will help clear my head.”

“Okay, b-b-but you better t-text the group chat so that we know you g-g-got home s-safe.”

“You got it, chief.”

Richie got out with Eddie and walked him to his door.

Bill drove home.

Stan decided that Bill’s house was much worse in the dark. Coldness seeped in through the walls. Black shadows slanted across the wall. In the dark something creaked. Stan shivered. They went upstairs as softly as they could, so as not to wake the household. On the landing, Stan tripped over a lacrosse stick.

“Shit.”

“Bill? Stan?” Georgie came out from his room wiping the sleep from his eyes. Stan was struck by how young he looked.

“Shh, Georige. G-g-go back to bed.”

Bill ushered Stan into his room. Once he had turned on his desk lamp Stan felt more at ease. Bill laid out some clothes for Stan.

“You c-c-can change here. I’m g-g-going to get you s-s-ome w-w-water.”

Stan took them gratefully, and once Bill left he changed. The pants were a little long on Stan, but he found he could just roll the waistband. Stan drowned in the sweatershirt. He felt warm all over, not the fiery warmth of alcohol, but something tamer more domestic. A little clumsily he sat on the edge of the bed.

Bill returned with some aspirin and a large glass of water.

“H-here.”

Stan took the pills gratefully. He drank almost the entire glass. Cold water had never tasted so good.

“Thanks.”

“No p-p-problem.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m g-going to sleep on the couch d-d-downstairs.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. This is your bed. We can share.”

“You’re s-still d-drunk, Stan.”

“I trust you. I know you won’t take advantage. C’mon, I’d feel awful about putting you out of your own bed.”

Uncertainty flashed across Bill’s face.

“Don’t go. Please.”

“Y-y-yeah. Alright.”

Bill turned off the desk lamp. The room was bathed in soft moonlight and the yellow light of a distant streetlamp. Bill climbed into his bed, leaving a careful distance between them. Everything was still, sleep pulling gently at them when Stan had one last drunken thought.

Bill is my Ender.

And once he thought it he could not unthink it. And as he began to draw comparisons he realized a far greater truth. Before he could put words to it sleep descended upon him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the wait was worth it. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little longer for the resolution to Stan's discovery. But until then let me know what you thought! I'm dying to see your reactions to this chapter. Was it everything you hoped and dreamed it might be? I hope so! Leave a comment below and tell me!  
> Thank you again for all the lovely support, I probably would never have gotten this far this quickly without you. Like I said at the top this chapter is for you. I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Yrs.  
> TWoW


	12. Chapter 12

Stan woke up with a massive headache. His whole body felt off, like he had worn the wrong coat home. It was foreign and ill fitting. He didn’t feel like himself. His stomach was hard and knotted, and his mouth tasted like stale alcohol. He tried to think back to last night, but the last thing he could remember was taking three shots with strangers. The rest was gone.

He looked around Bill’s room to find it empty. He frowned. The room didn’t feel the same without its owner in it. Feeling terrible, Stan pulled the comforter back over his body and sunk into a dreamless sleep.

He awoke again, at around 10 and decided to get up. He crept downstairs, unsure if the Denbroughs were up and about. He heard voices in the kitchen and moved towards them. He looked in the door and saw Georgie and Bill at the breakfast counter. They were dressed as if they had just come in from a run, their faces flushed.

“You’re overthinking things,” Georgie sounded like he had made this point before.

“I am n-n-not.”

“He likes you. He’s dating you, isn’t he?”

“Yes, b-but –”

“I don’t know why you act like Stan isn’t into you. A blind man could see that he is in love with you.”

Stan moved away from the door. He shouldn’t be listening to this. He went back to Bill’s room and began to look around. Bill had a lot of books, more than his bookshelves could hold. They were laid out haphazardly and Stan began to read the tittles as if they might offer some insight into the soul of Bill Denbrough. His fingers traced the spines, searching for something unknown.

_The Haunting of Hill House. Turn of the Screw. Donavan’s Brain. Dracula. Carmilla. And Then There Were None. The Invisible Man. Ender’s Game._

Stan froze. The copy was new, the spine barely broken in at all. He picked it up. Why did it feel like he was forgetting something. Something important. He turned the book over, relishing the feel of paper under his hands. He paged through the book, stopping on the chapter entitled “Valentine.”

Valentine, Ender’s sister. She worked under a pseudonym in order to gain power in a world that saw her only as a child. Eventually she became her pseudonym. They stopped being two individuals and became one. It was a lie which ceased being fiction.

Stan’s thoughts raced. Lies. He was in a web of lies. He was lying to his parents, to his friends, but more than that he was lying to himself. Because he knew – 

“Oh y-y-you’re up?”

Bill entered the room interrupting his train of thought.

“Yeah.”

“C-c-cool. We should h-h-head out to Al’s soon to m-m-m-meet the others. Y-y-you can borrow some of my clothes if y-you’d like.”

Stan nodded.

Bill found some clean clothes for him and promised to meet him downstairs. Stan set the book down, his thoughts ceding to the hunger that rose from his stomach.

–

They were the first ones to arrive at the diner. Next came Beverly, then Mike and Ben. They were followed by Eddie. Unsurprisingly, Richie was the last to arrive. Beverly looked as hung over as Stan felt. She kept her sunglasses on, and leaned heavily on Ben, only talking in monosyllables until after their food arrived.

Stan could feel Richie’s eyes on him, and he was sure that Richie recognized the sweater as one of Bill’s. He blushed, refusing to meet the other boy’s eyes and burrowed his hands deep into the sweater’s pockets. When the food finally arrived, Stan had never tasted anything so good. The greasy homefries worked miracles on soaking up any remaining alcohol in his system, and he began to feel human once more. Conversation began to pick up around the table.

“Dude you must have been trashed last night. I’ve never seen you like that,” Richie said to Stan.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re dancing was… well it was good.”

“Thanks, I’ve been dancing since I was three.”

Bill and Beverly laughed.

“No I mean it was hot.”

Eddie jabbed Richie with his elbow.

Stan blushed. He hadn’t remembered exactly how he was dancing, but he could vaguely remember pulling someone into his orbit. He looked away.

“Bet Big Bill couldn’t keep his hands off you after the party. I mean, that is his sweatshirt, right?”

“Beep beep, Richie.”

Stan could feel Eddie and Beverly eyeing him with new interest.

“What do you say we pay our bill and head to the Barrens?” Mike asked.

Stan sent him a grateful look.

“S-s-sounds good.”

– 

The day had grown cool, a sharp breeze blew across the parking lot. The group of friends jumped the fence behind Al’s and headed into the Barrens. They talked softly, enjoying the sunlight which filtered in through the leaves. Stan listened to the bird calls, enjoying the quiet of the late morning. He slowed, falling to the back of the group.

“So things seem to be getting serious with you and Bill.” Eddie said joining Stan on the thin trail.

“I guess.”

“You know, I see the way he looks at you…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s like you’re his whole world.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I just think you two are good for one another, and I’m sorry for doubting you and him in the beginning.”

Stan nodded, wondering for the first time how they were going to make this break up look real. He watched Bill lead the way, reminiscing with Mike and Ben. If he was lucky they could all be friends after the break up, but it wouldn’t be the same. Stan was sure of that.

“You and Richie seem to be doing well.”

“I’ve ever been so happy.” Eddie said.

“I’m glad I was wrong about him too.”

“It’s funny, all three of us finding boyfriends at the same time.”

“They say things always come in threes.”

“Yeah, I guess they do.”

“We’re h-h-here.”

All seven of them crowded around the trap door as Mike, Bill, and Ben cleared it of leaves. Bill opened the door, but Ben was the first one down.

“It’s just like it used to be.” Ben said.

He was followed by Mike. Then Beverly, Eddie, and Richie. Stan stopped where Bill was standing.

“Guess it’s a good thing you guys made it so big.” Stan said remembering the reason Bill had told him. A soft smile graced Bill’s lips.

“Yeah, g-g-guess we’re pretty d-d-damn lucky.”

Stan went down the ladder, and Bill followed.

In the clubhouse, Beverly and Richie were using their lighters to light the candles, but they shouldn’t have bothered. Sunlight streamed in through the entry making the underground feel homey. Mike looked around in awe, running his hands on the weathered beams with fondness.

“– this is why we need building codes. What if this collapses?”

“Eddie, it’s not going to collapse,” Ben said.

“Well if it does –”

“It won’t.”

“If it does, you’re liable, alright?”

Richie pulled his boyfriend into the hammock with a laugh. The beams groaned under their joined weight, but the structure held.

“You worry too much, Spagheds.”

“Yeah, but you love me for it.”

“Yeah, guess I do.”

“Get a room,” Beverly teased.

Richie flipped her off before kissing his boyfriend. Eddie squirmed away, but he was smiling so he couldn’t be too upset.

Bill moved to talk to Ben. They examined every inch of their hideout and told Beverly about its construction. Stan watched them with fondness. It was nice to see this place full of life, the way it should have been when it was built. Even thought they were underground, a clean breeze came in through the trapdoor. Sunlight filtered in as well, and even in the darker corners there were the candles. It felt like home. Mike came over to where Stan was perched.

“How are you doing after last night?”

“To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of it. And I woke up feeling out of sorts, but the food helped.”

“I’m not surprised.” Mike said. His eye followed Stan to where Bill was laughing with Beverly. “You two are good together.”

“Oh?”

Mike laughed. He rubbed the back of his neck self consciously. “Can I tell you the truth?”

“Uh sure?”

“When I first met you in the library I was interested. You were cute, and smart and I wanted to get to know you.”

Stan hadn’t been expecting this.

“I was glad to see you came to my party, and for awhile I wondered what would have happened if I had stopped playing flip cup and gotten to know you. Would it have been us instead of you and Bill? But I’m glad I didn’t. After the bonfire I knew that I wouldn’t have stood a chance. And dancing with you last night, I knew I made the right choice to pull away. Whatever is between you two is magnetic. It’s a force of nature that can’t be stopped.

He’s brought you out of your shell in a way I never could have, and you’ve reminded him of who he is at heart. I know what it’s like to fight this town tooth and nail to just exist. I know how hard it is because of the color of my skin. To have a visible indicator telling the world that you are different. Nothing visibly marked Bill as bi, but he still stood up for you. He fought so that you two could be together. He’s one of the good ones, but so are you. You fight in your own quiet way. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m happy for you two.”

“Thank you,” Stan struggled to get the words out.

Mike nodded before leaving Stan to his own thoughts.

Stan watched Mike go. He had never known that Mike had felt that way towards him, and instead of feeling any resent or regret Stan felt reassured. He looked over at Bill and his heart softened.

Somehow, without his permission or knowledge, he had fallen for his fake boyfriend. That was the unspeakable truth that last night’s drunken revelries had briefly revealed and then clouded over again. That was what he had been so desperately trying to remember this morning. Georgie had practically said it, even a blind man could see he loved Bill. It was a lie which became true.

_Ender’s Game_. Ender. Bill and Ender shared so many qualities that Stan felt foolish for not realizing his feelings earlier. Everything he loved about Ender could be found in Bill. Bill who was real. Bill who held him when he cried, took him out for milkshakes, fought Patrick Hockstetter, went birdwatching. Bill who had drawn Stan out bit by bit, had never rushed him, had led him into the light. How long had Stan been in love with him? How long had he been blind?

His thoughts turned back to Mike. Any feelings he had thought he had towards the other boy were like drops of rain compared to the flood that welled up in him when he thought of Bill.

Stan looked to Bill. The other boy sent him a curious look, but Stan just shook his head. Bill returned his attention to Bev.

Even in the height of his euphoric state Stan was brought back to earth. They were pretending. Bill didn’t really like him anymore than he liked the rest of their friend group. After all he was straight. And in that moment Stan knew they could never be friends after this. It would be too painful. He needed to start preparing for the inevitable. He was going to have to wean himself off Bill, and it was going to hurt like hell.

–

On the drive home, Stan decided it was time to start the inevitable.

“Bill?”

“Hm?”

“How are we going to stage our break up?”

“I d-d-don’t know. We d-d-don’t have to w-w-worry about it yet. Prom is still like t-t-two weeks away.”

“I know, but maybe we should start sowing the seeds. It won’t be believable if it comes out of nowhere.”

“What’s b-b-brought this on?”

“I just think that maybe we didn’t think this plan through all the way. I mean after the break up, what’s going to happen to everyone?”

“W-w-what do you m-mean?”

“We can’t just go on as friends.”

“W-w-why not?”

“Because, Bill, newly broken up boyfriends don’t just become friends.”

“W-w-we could be amicable –”

“I don’t want to be friends after.” Stan couldn’t look at Bill.

“I t-t-thought we w-w-were friends now.”

“We are.” He was getting close to tears now.

“So w-w-why can’t we just say that we’re better friends than b-b-boyfriends and remain friends?”

“No one will believe that. Haven’t the others told you how good we are for each other? How perfect we are?”

“I d-d-don’t want to lose you.”

“We’ll talk about this some other time.”

“Stan, I –”

“Darling.”

Bill stopped. A chilly silence descended over them. When Stan got back to his room he finally allowed the tears to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY.  
> Please don't hate me; this had to happen. There's still several more chapters left, and I promise a happy ending. I'm sorry to leave this chapter with more angst, but hey at least Stan knows that he loves Bill now, right? So that's good...  
> Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter. I was absolutely overwhelmed by your passion and enthusiasm. A writer isn't much without readers, so thank you. I promise another chapter soon.  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	13. Chapter 13

The signs for Prom were up on Monday. The theme this year was Out of This World, so all the posters were a dark blue and were covered in silver and gold glitter. It was tacky, which of course meant that Richie loved it.

“Hey Eds, we going together or what?”

“Is that really how you’re going to ask me to prom?”

Richie blushed a deep red. “No.”

“Thank fucking god, or else I’d have to dump you.”

“Rude, Spaghedward.”

Eddie shrugged.

“Those posters are more of an eyesore than your dumb Hawaiian shirts,” Beverly said. 

“No one asked for your opinion, Molly Ringwald.”

She flipped him off.

“Has Ben asked you yet?” Eddie asked.

Beverly shook her head. “Technically since he’s coming to our Prom I should be the one asking him, but seeing as I’m smarter than Richie I’ve got something planned.”

“I take offense to that.” Richie said.

She rolled her eyes. “Good luck with him, Eddie.”

“Staniel, you’ve been awfully quiet. How are you going to ask Big Bill?”

“Huh?”

Stan didn’t want to admit how much his conversation with Bill had affected him. He hated how much he had upset the other boy. However, they couldn’t keep up this pretense for much longer. There had always been an expiration date on it. There was no denying it. Only now it was looming. At the beginning, Stan would have reveled in the ending of this charade. But now that he had a close knit group of friends and feelings for Bill he wasn’t so sure. Everything had gotten so messy.

“Stan, are you alright? Are you still having trouble sleeping?” Eddie asked.

“Sorry, I guess I’m just stressed.”

Eddie looked like he wanted to push the subject, but Richie and Beverly steered the conversation back to Prom for which Stan was grateful. It was nice to pretend things were normal.

By lunch, Stan didn’t have much of an appetite. He picked at his food, wondering if maybe he had gone too far the other day. Maybe he shouldn’t have pulled out their safe word.

“Stan, is everything alright?” Beverly asked.

It was just the two of them, as Richie and Eddie had gone out for lunch hour. 

“Sure, Bev. Just thinking.”

“You think too much. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. There was no way to describe his heartache without admitting that his relationship was a lie.

“Do you want to come to Madame Wallace’s classroom before first bell? I was going to talk to her about forming a GSA here at school, and I’d love the company if you’re up for it”

“I don’t know…” 

“It might do you some good. Take your mind off whatever’s bothering you? What do you say?”

“Do you really think Derry might have a GSA?”

“We won’t know unless we ask.”

“Alright.”

“Great. I figure we give it ten minutes before first bell. She should be back from lunch by then.”

Stan nodded. He could feel Beverly’s eyes on him, but he refused to open up. Instead he picked at his food until the time came to leave. 

They left the library and headed to Madame Wallace’s classroom. The room was brightly lit by the afternoon sun, green plants sat on the windowsill soaking up the light. Madame Wallace was at her desk writing notes, but upon their entrance she looked up.

“Beverly, Stan, what can I do for you?”

“We want to start a club, and we’d like you to be the adviser,” Beverly said.

Madame Wallace looked intrigued. “What sort of club?”

“A gay straight alliance.”

Madame Wallace pursed her lips, brow furrowed. “I think that will be very difficult to begin here.”

“We know, but this is important.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

“You’re in?” Stan was shocked.

“It’s about time someone stood up to the bullies around here. I think a GSA is exactly what we need.”

“So you’ll go to admin and ask about it?”

“Yes, Beverly. While I begin those discussions I think it is important that you write up a proposal. Ask around and see how much interest there is in the formation of the club, stuff like that.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I can’t guarantee anything, but like you said it’s important.”

The first bell rung.

“You two better head off to class. I’d hate for you to be late.”

“Thank you, Madame.” Beverly did a graceful ballet curtsy.

Madame Wallace laughed at her antics before shooing them out of the classroom. An indescribable weight was lifted from Stan’s chest. Maybe, just maybe, there would be some justice.

– 

During ballet, Stan was able to release all of his stress. He focused on perfecting his turnout at the barre and on the counts for the across-the-floor exercises. While working on the pas de deux with Beverly, he was able to turn off his brain for the first time all day. He didn’t worry about Bill or Prom or the GSA, all he did was dance.

After class, Bill was waiting for him like nothing had happened. Stan’s heart lurched seeing the other boy. For the first time, Stan allowed himself to admire Bill’s good looks. Warmth sparked in his chest.

“You’re staring.” Beverly smirked.

A knot formed in his stomach, because no matter how attractive he found Bill they still were going to end things in two weeks.

“How w-w-was your day?”

Stan shrugged.

Bill nodded, but said nothing more. The drive home was uncomfortable at best.

“Thanks,” Stan said getting out of Bill’s car.

“Of course, Stan.”

When Stan entered his home a storm lay in wait.

“Stanley?”

“Yeah?”

“Come in here. Your mother and I would like to have a chat.”

Stan set his things down before going to the dining room. His parents were at the table, clearly waiting for him.

“Who dropped you off?”

“A friend.”

“What friend?”

“Bill.”

“I told you not to hang out with him anymore.”

“We’re friends, dad.”

“Don’t lie to us, Stan. I know you’re seeing him.”

“How –”

“Some people from the synagogue have seen you at Al’s with him on multiple occasions.”

“Stan, is it true?” His mother asked, and he knew he couldn’t lie to her.

“Yes.”

“And you love him?”

“Andrea –”

“Do you love him, Stan?”

“Yes.”

His mother smiled. She stood, and walked over to her son pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry you felt like you had to hide that part of you from us –”

“Andrea –”

“These past few weeks you became so distant. I didn’t know how to reach you. I didn’t want to force anything. And knowing that you are in love with Bill doesn’t change a thing. You are still you. You’re my son, and you deserve to be happy, my love.”

Stan relaxed in his mother’s arms.

“If this boy makes you happy, who am I to stand in your way?”

“Andrea –”

“What?” His mother turned her attention back to his dad.

“I cannot allow him to remain in our household if he insists on going out with this Denbrough boy. It is enough that he does ballet, what will the synogogue think if he is seen hanging around a gentile druggie?”

“I have had enough –” She moved towards her husband.

“Andrea, be reasonable.”

“No. You’re going to listen to me. It’s my turn to talk. I allowed you to talk down to our son for too long. I allowed you to convince me that Derry High would be a better fit for him, even though he got accepted to Derry Prep.”

“Wait, what?” Stan felt breathless. His father had told him that his test grades weren’t high enough.

“But terrible things happen at Derry High. I know it. I have this whole time and I’ve remained quiet about it so you could save on his tuition. You yelled at our son for losing his kippah, but did you ever think something might have happened? You weren’t here when he came home that day. You didn’t see how defeated he looked.”

“Andrea, calm down.”

“Stan, go upstairs.”

“Mom –”

“Please.”

Stan left.

Even after he had shut his door he could hear his parents screaming at one another.

“Enough, Donald. If you can’t accept our son the way he is you need to leave.”

“Like you’ve been so accepting this whole time.”

“I didn’t know how to handle things, I still don’t. But I won’t be a bad mother. I messed up not talking to him about this sooner, but things are going to change.”

“Excuse me?”

“Get out of my house.”

“What will the synagogue think?”

“Frankly, I don’t give a damn.”

“Andrea –”

Stan couldn’t listen to their fighting any longer. His thoughts were a mess. He needed to talk to someone, someone who would listen and who could ground him. There was only one place he could go. Stan climbed out of his window and began to run. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks for his mother, and hoped she wouldn’t cave in to his father’s demands.

Stan had tears in his eyes as he knocked on the Denbrough’s door. He prayed that neither of Bill’s parents would answer the door. God must have heard his prayers as it was Georgie who opened the door. His eyes widened when he saw how upset Stan looked.

“Is Bill here?”

Georgie nodded. “In his room.”

Stan practically ran through the house until he got to Bill’s door. Only then, with his heart racing, did he slow down. What was he doing here? Bill must hate him, and yet there was no one else he could turn to. Quietly he knocked on the door.

“N-n-not now, Georgie.”

He knocked again.

“I’m b-b-busy.”

He knocked again.

“G-g-georgie, I told you I d-don’t w-w-want to talk –” 

The door opened and Bill’s fury died as soon as he saw Stan. He opened his arms to the other boy and instinctively Stan fell into them. Bill led him into his room before closing the door. Stan sobbed in relief.

“S-s-sweetheart? W-w-what’s wrong?” Bill led Stan to his bed, and the two sat down. Even so Bill kept an arm around Stan’s shoulder.

Haltingly the truth came out and only then did Stan realize he was still in Bill’s arms. He began to pull away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. We’re fighting and –” 

“W-w-woah. Forget the f-f-fight for now. W-we won’t talk a-a-bout the break up f-f-for now.” Bill said taking his hand.

“But –”

“I’m g-g-glad you came to me.” 

“Yeah?”

“S-s-sure. And Derry Prep isn’t so great, y-y-you’re really not m-m-missing much. S-s-sometimes I wish I were at D-d-derry High with you… and the others.”

“Yeah, but at least you don’t have to deal with Patrick.”

“DP h-h-has it’s own b-b-bullies.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. D-d-do you t-t-think your mom is r-r-really going to kick your dad out?”

Stan shrugged.

“I’d l-l-like to meet h-h-her.”

“My mom?”

“She sounds like a b-b-badass.”

Stan laughed for the first time all day. It felt good. Bill smiled at him.

“F-f-feel a little b-b-better?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Now that Stan no longer felt as upset he began to realize that he was alone with Bill . Although Bill refused to acknowledge it, some of the tension of their previous disagreement hung in the air. Stan desperately wanted to clear things up. But the truth was humiliating. He couldn’t tell Bill that it was too painful for them to remain friends because he had feelings for the other boy. That he couldn’t imagine Bill out of his life, but he also couldn’t imagine being friends. Not after everything they had been through together. Not after everything Bill had done for Stan. He didn’t know where they stood, and the uncertainty was – 

“H-h-hey, you’re d-d-doing that thing.”

“What thing?”

“The thing w-where you overthink. W-w-want to t-talk about it?”

Stan shook his head.

Bill didn’t hide his disappointment very well. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” A horrible realization came to Stan. “I know what we can tell our friends.”

“Stan –”

“We’ll tell them that I didn’t let you in enough, and you got sick of trying to get me to open up.”

“That’s not f-f-fair to y-y-you.”

“It’s something they’d believe.”

And the terrible thing was that was the truth. Stan had never been good with opening up to people, Eddie and Beverly knew that.

“F-f-fine, but you h-h-have to let me chose w-w-when.”

“What?”

“I g-g-get to say when we c-c-call it quits. D-d-deal?”

Stan nodded.

“I still think w-w-we could b-b-be friends.”

“No.”

“D-d-do you really h-h-hate me that m-m-much?”

“No.”

“Then w-w-why –”

“Bill, please –”

“I j-j-just w-w-want the truth.”

“I can’t.”

“W-why?”

“Bill, please don’t make me do this.”

“I’d n-n-never force you to d-do something against your w-will. You k-know that.”

Stan nodded. Of course he knew that, that’s one of the reasons he loved Bill. “I’d better go.”

“A-a-alright.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you, Stan.”

Bill walked Stan out, and seeing his silhouette back lit through the door left Stan feeling worse than when he had arrived. He walked home hating himself. Why had he even gone there in the first place? He could have gone to Bev or Eddie, but he hadn’t wanted them. He had only wanted Bill.

His house stood deadly silent. The downstairs lights were on, but his parents weren’t in sight. As he climbed the stairs to his room he saw his mother come out of her room.

“Stan? Where were you?”

“I went to Bill’s.”

She nodded. “I’m glad you didn’t stay for all that. It got nasty near the end.”

“Is he –”

“He’s staying at the townhouse. While you’re at school tomorrow he’ll come to pick up some of his things.”

“Are you getting a divorce?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. But I want you to know that I’m here for you, and I’m not going to allow him to push us around anymore. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize –”

“You don’t need to apologize, Mom. I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Without any dinner? There’s some stuff in the refrigerator that I could heat up for you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I just want sleep.”

Stan could tell his mother was upset, but he was too emotionally exhausted to talk further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry to end TWO chapters in a row with angst, but the next few will definitely be more romantic and sweet. I promise! Thank you so much for all your support and comments they mean the absolute world to me! This story is starting to head towards the end, there are still several more chapters, but soon it'll be over. That's very bittersweet for me. I have already begun writing my next fic for this fandom, and will probably begin posting it shortly. It is going to be very different than this one, a lot darker and more violent. So if that's your cup of tea be on the look out for it!  
> Please leave a comment below telling me your thoughts. I love and appreciate you all so much.  
> Yrs.  
> TWoW


	14. Chapter 14

On Tuesday, after dropping Stan and Beverly off at the Ukrainian Club, Richie took Eddie’s hand and began leading him through town.

“Where are we going?” Eddie asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Derry’s not that big, dumbass.”

Richie still refused to tell him where they were going. He just had a big goofy smile. As they walked Richie was unusually quiet, but Eddie didn’t mind. He liked having Richie’s hand in his own, he felt adored. And even though this was still Derry, being with Richie felt safe. It was better than home. Eddie bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling too much.

After walking for awhile they made it out to the quarry. It was cooler amid the shade of the trees. A spring breeze was blowing up from the lake. Eddie was curious as to why they were here, but once they came out to where they had had their bonfire Eddie understood.

A red checked blanket lay on the coarse grass. There was a picnic basket as well as a bouquet of flowers. In front of this display was a poster board weighed down by some rocks. In large looping handwriting, way nicer than Richie’s, it said:

SPAGHEDS, WHAT’S THE PASTA-BILITY YOU’D GO TO PROM WITH ME?

“You’re so dumb.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes!”

Richie’s laugh was interrupted by Eddie pulling him down to kiss him. He was never going to get used to this, to having Richie’s full attention like this whenever he wanted. When they parted Richie was smirking. Taking Eddie’s hand he led them over to the blanket.

“How did you do all this?”

“Big Bill and Haystack helped with the food and set up. Beverly wrote the sign at my dictation. Had to make it legible.”

“I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, way better than when you asked me in the hallway.”

“I was nervous.”

“I make you nervous?”

“No.” Richie blushed and looked away.

Eddie smiled. To give himself something to do he began pulling food out of the basket. The first container was pasta salad.

“Very on theme.”

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want.”

“Shut up, Richie. I want to.”

“Okay.”

They ate together talking softly about their day. Once they were done, Richie pulled out a joint for them to share. Eddie didn’t want to admit it, but he enjoyed smoking with Richie. It made him feel rebellious, he liked knowing that his mother would never approve. But more than that it relaxed him, quieted the neurosis in his head. He didn’t have to worry so much when he was high. And seeing Richie’s fingers, his lips, around a joint was attractive. It was stupid how attractive it was. So they smoked, and Eddie found himself getting a little giggly. Eventually he ended up in Richie’s lap.

“Shit, we’re going to Prom together.” Eddie said winding his fingers between Richie’s.

“Yeah, that’s the idea.”

“What if we look dumb dancing together?” Eddie squirmed to look at Richie.

“No way. Have you seen me dance? I’ve got enough skills for the both of us.”

“Richie, don’t laugh. I’m serious.”

“Fine, guess we’ll have to practice.” Richie said pulling Eddie up.

Richie began waltzing them around the clearing humming his impression of a waltz. Eddie couldn’t help but laugh as he stepped on Richie’s toes, but the other boy didn’t seem to care. They were in their own world. Richie spun Eddie, before dipping him. Richie’s glasses slid off his nose, but neither boy cared. They were too caught up in one another. Slowly, Richie righted him.

“See,” he was breathless, “what did I tell you, Eds? I got skills.”

Eddie chewed at his lip. A heaviness replaced the teasing nature that was between them.

“You’re worried.”

“How do you know?”

“I can see it.”

“You’re not even wearing your glasses.” Eddie teased trying to change the subject.

“I don’t need to see you to know you. I would know you blind.”

Eddie stared up at Richie’s warm brown eyes and he melted. His heartbeat increased, but it wasn’t from fear. It was adoration. Richie searched Eddie’s eyes, waiting for him to be okay. Time slowed down. Eddie surged up to kiss Richie. 

The kiss was languid. Nothing was rushed. Even though it was chaste, heat pooled in Eddie’s stomach. He clutched at Richie, never wanting to let him go. As long as they were like this they would be okay. They only broke apart when the need for air became too great.

“Better?” Richie asked.

“Better.”

Richie bent down to pick up his glasses where they had fallen. “Don’t want you to stepping on these.”

“As if.”

“With your two left feet you never know.”

“Hey!”

“Good thing we practiced dancing. You know for a ballerina you’re awfully clumsy.” Richie laughed.

“Shove off, Rich. And maybe it’s because you’re terrible at leading!”

“Like you could do better.”

“I could, thank you very much.”

Eddie grabbed Richie and led them through a perfect waltz. No toes stepped on. When he was done he raised an eyebrow at Richie daring the other boy to criticize him.

“You didn’t dip me.”

“Beep beep, Richie.”

Richie laughed, but took Eddie under his arm all the same. Eddie leaned into Richie’s heat blushing all the same.

–

Stan stayed late after ballet. During their first hour of class, one of the instructors had asked that he stay after to work on The Prince’s Variation from _Sleeping Beauty_. He would be dancing that along with the _pas de deux_ from _The Nutcracker_ with Beverly for their spring showcase and the teacher requested that he get some extra practice in the studio. Stan was happy to comply. 

After class he texted Bill not to worry about picking him up. He then plugged his phone into the sound system and pulled up Tchaikovsky’s beloved score. The familiar music washed over Stan. As he executed the turns and jumps with precision he could feel adrenaline flooding his system. The most challenging part of the piece was the climatic finale. The music, feverishly building upon itself, finished in a series of _chainee_ turns and _grande jetes_ that would carry him around the stage. 

The music began its build, and even though Stan was tired he pushed himself allowing the music to carry him. He spun around the studio in large arcing leaps until the piece reached its conclusion. Stan knelt exhausted.

In the sudden silence, Stan felt that he was being watched. He turned to the door of the studio and found Bill leaning against the doorframe. Stan stood up, blood rushing from his head.

“What are you doing here?”

“C-c-came to pick you up. Waited a-a-around, b-b-but you didn’t s-s-how. B-b-bev said I m-m-might find you in h-h-here.”

“Didn’t you get my text?”

“Phone d-d-died.”

“I’m staying late to get some extra practice in. You don’t need to wait for me.”

“I d-d-don’t m-m-mind. Y-y-y-you’re incredible to w-w-watch.”

Stan blushed. “Thank you.”

“I m-m-mean it.”

“Would you mind waiting another ten minutes?”

Bill shook his head.

Stan moved over to his phone to begin the music again. He managed to go through the piece three more times. He felt Bill’s eyes on him the entire time, appraising him. While Stan was used to performing, this made him uncomfortable. He had never felt so vulnerable before Bill. He felt as if he were exposing his soul to the other boy. It made him want to do better. He pushed himself, demanding everything his body had. And after each run he allowed himself to peek at Bill, and each time Bill had this soft smile on his lips that Stan couldn’t quite interpret.

After the fourth run, Stan allowed himself to stop. He had made good progress on the piece and his legs felt like jelly. He was grateful that Bill had been willing to wait as he wasn’t sure he would have been able to walk home in this condition.

“I’m just going to change, you can wait on the benches by the front door if you want.”

“Okay, I’ll see you d-d-downstairs.”

Stan left to go change. He didn’t know how to behave around Bill anymore. It was like they were strangers all over again. Between their tentative alliance, the imminent break up, and Stan’s crush, it was all a bit overwhelming. As much as he wanted to hide in the locker rooms he knew he had to face Bill eventually.

When he arrived on the first floor he found that Bill was seated next to an elegant blonde woman and they were in the middle of a conversation. Upon his arrival Bill looked over to him.

“Hi, Stan. This is Svetlana M-m-mikhailov. She t-t-teaches some of the p-pre-school level c-classes here.”

“Nice to meet you,” Stan said shaking her hand.

“I recognize you, you’re one of the boys who takes lessons upstairs.” She spoke with a thick Ukrainian accent.

“Yes.”

“Your boyfriend says you are very good.”

Stan blushed.

Svetlana turned to Bill. “Feel free to stop by anytime you’re waiting for him. It was nice speaking with you.”

“W-w-will do. R-r-ready to go?”

Stan nodded.

“G-g-goodbye, Svetlana.”

“Nice meeting you.” Stan said.

“Nice meeting you two as well.” She rose as they left.

As they walked outside Stan turned to Bill. “How do you do that?”

“Hm?”

“Make friends wherever you go? The people on the first floor tend to keep to themselves. I’ve never seen them so welcoming.”

Bill shrugged. “I d-d-don’t know.”

Stan marveled at Bill’s ability to make everyone feel so comfortable around him. He wondered how Bill gave himself so freely to others. How he could be so open.

As Bill drove him home he asked, “w-w-were you avoiding me? Is t-t-that why you stayed late so I w-wouldn’t have to p-pick you up?”

“Not at all. One of the ballet masters asked that I stay late to work on my solo. I didn’t want you to have to wait around.”

“I’m glad that I w-was able to see you d-dance.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re so strong and g-g-graceful. I c-c-could never look that b-b-beautiful.”

Stan looked out the passenger side window to keep from smiling like a fool.

Bill stopped in front of Stan’s house.

“If you ever n-n-need to stay late again, I don’t m-m-mind waiting. And I c-c-can stay on the f-f-first floor if you’re uncomfortable w-w-with me watching.”

“You don’t need to stay on the first floor. I don’t mind. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. G-g-goodnight, Stan.”

“Night, Bill.”

When Stan got inside he saw his mother standing by the front window and instead of fear and panic, he was instantly comforted by her smile.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s been giving you rides home this whole time?”

“Yes.”

“You should invite him to dinner tomorrow. I’d love to meet him.”

“Mom –”

“I want to meet the young man that’s stolen your heart.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll see if he’s free, but you can’t be that cheesy in front of him.”

Andrea Uris smiled widely, and Stan knew there was no stopping her.

–

The next day during homeroom, Beverly approached Stan and Eddie.

“I need your help.”

“With what?” Eddie asked.

“Asking Ben to prom.”

“What do you need us to do?”

“I was thinking that maybe Stan and I could do the _pas de deux _tomorrow at lunch over at DP? We could get Bill to drag Ben wherever has decent space.”__

__Stan raised a brow. “You want to ask your boyfriend to prom with the _pas de deux_ from _The Nutcracker_?”_ _

__“Well I was thinking we could replace the music with a piano version of ‘Thinking Out Loud.’” Beverly blushed. “It’s kinda our song.”_ _

__“That’s really cute,” Eddie said. “I’m in. What do you need me to do?”_ _

__“Play the music and hold up a sign? I know it’s not much but?” Beverly laughed in spite of herself._ _

__“Anything for you. Thanks for helping Richie out with his Promposal.” Eddie said._ _

__“Did you like it?”_ _

__“Yeah.” Eddie flushed._ _

__“Good! So Stan are you in?”_ _

__“Of course, Bev.”_ _

__“We could practice the adagio after class in the studio? Just to make sure it works with the new music.”_ _

__“Sounds perfect.”_ _

__“I hope Ben isn’t too embarrassed by it.” She looked nervous._ _

__“He’ll love it.” Eddie said._ _

__“Can you ask Bill to help get Ben wherever we need him at lunch?”_ _

__“I’ll text him right now.”_ _

__“Where are you planning on doing this?” Eddie asked._ _

__“Maybe the parking lot? There’d be enough room there.”_ _

__“In your _pointe_ shoes!?” Eddie’s eyes widened comically._ _

__“No. I was going to do it in running shoes, and we’ll see if I can manage _pointe_. Are you alright with that Stan?”_ _

__He grimaced. There were quite a few leaps, and if he happened to drop Beverly on the asphalt that was going to hurt like a bitch. He said as much._ _

__“When have you ever dropped me?” Beverly asked seriously._ _

__“Never, but it could happen. Especially on uneven terrain.”_ _

__“Well, maybe we should practice in the parking lot behind the Ukrainian Club rather than the studio.” Beverly said._ _

__“Okay, but we should have someone there to spot us. Just to be safe.”_ _

__“Ask Bill.”_ _

__Stan tried not to look panicked. “Yeah alright.”_ _

__Just then the bell rung interrupting the rest of their conversation._ _

__–_ _

__Stan: My mom wants you to come over for dinner tonight._ _

__Stan: Bev and I are going to be practicing for her promposal, would you mind spotting us in the Ukrainian Club parking lot?_ _

__Bill: both sound manageable :)_ _

__Stan: Also can you help out with hers? Tomorrow at lunch Ben needs to come out to the DP parking lot. Think you can manage?_ _

__Bill: of course!_ _

__Stan: Perfect. I’ll see you later._ _

__Bill: see you then!_ _

__–_ _

__After ballet Beverly and Stan met up with Bill in the Ukrainan Club parking lot. Beverly made Bill in charge of playing the music from her phone as she and Stan marked the steps. It was definitely more difficult on the pavement, and Stan feared that if he dropped Beverly she might end up with some nasty cuts. However, she had complete faith in him, and it was her trust that made them such good partners._ _

__Although the music was different, the slow piano cover Beverly found suited the _pas de deux_ to a tee. It also made a lot of sense that it was Bev and Ben’s song. Ed Sheeran? What could be more on brand? At least for Ben. Stan couldn’t imagine Beverly listening to Ed Sheeran before meeting Ben, but he supposed that was just another way love had influenced her._ _

__He wondered if Bill and he had a song. His eyes wandered over to Bill. The other boy was entirely entranced by them. Stan flushed and went back to counting out the steps in his head._ _

__–_ _

__After practicing in the parking lot they dropped Beverly off at home before heading to Stan’s for dinner._ _

__“Helping Bev out has got me thinking. What should we do?”_ _

__“W-w-what?”_ _

__“About Prom. Am I supposed to find some elaborate way to ask you?”_ _

__“You don’t n-n-need to.”_ _

__“I know, but I feel like I should. Especially when all our friends are doing big things. It feels suspicious not to, right?”_ _

__“I d-d-don’t know, Stan. We can s-s-say it’s j-j-just not our style.” Bill sounded tired._ _

__Stan nodded. Bill wasn’t telling him everything, but he didn’t want to push the subject. “Okay.”_ _

__“S-s-sorry. I guess I’m just n-n-nervous to meet your mom.”_ _

__“She’s going to love you.”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“H-h-how do you know?”_ _

__Because I do, thought Stan. Because you make me ridiculously happy. Because everyone around you can’t help but love you. Instead he said, “I just know.”_ _

__Bill parked his car behind Stan’s mom’s car._ _

__“You ready?” Stan asked._ _

__“I d-d-don’t know that I’ll ever be ready.”_ _

__Stan was reminded of how nervous he was meeting Bill’s parents. He took Bill’s hand in his own and gave him a reassuring squeeze._ _

__“If things get dicey, I’ll protect you.” He teased trying to get Bill to smile._ _

__It worked._ _

__“Oh y-yeah?”_ _

__“Figured it’s my turn to look out for you.”_ _

__Bill blushed. “J-j-jesus, Stan. Laying it on a b-b-bit thick.”_ _

__Stan withdrew his hand with a frown. The funny thing was he wasn’t pretending. Even though he knew the worst his mother could do was make some cheesy remarks or say how perfect they were together, Stan really did want to protect Bill from whatever the world might throw at him. His feelings were getting annoying like that. He didn’t want to admit how much Bill’s comment stung so instead he led the way to his house._ _

__As predicted his mother was waiting for them in the entryway._ _

__“You must be Bill, I’m Andrea.” She shook Bill’s hand._ _

__“N-n-nice to m-m-meet you.”_ _

__She didn’t seem fazed by Bill’s stutter, and only welcomed them further into her home._ _

__“I hope fish is alright, Stan didn’t tell me if you had any dietary restrictions.”_ _

__“Fish is f-f-fine.”_ _

__Andrea smiled._ _

__She led them into the dining room where there were three places set. Food was laid out on the table. The candles that were usually reserved for the Sabbath were lit and placed at the center of the table. The room was bathed in a rosy, lambent glow. It was at once warm and welcoming. They sat at the table so that Bill and Stan were on one side and Andrea sat across from them. She said a brief blessing before beginning to serve food._ _

__“So Bill, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? Stan hasn’t shared any details about his love life with me and I’m dying to know you better.” Andrea sent a teasing look over to Stan._ _

__Stan flushed. He shouldn’t have worried about protecting Bill from his mother, instead he should have worried about protecting himself from the two of them teaming up against him._ _

__“W-w-what do you w-w-want to know?” Bill asked._ _

__“Oh anything. How you met, what your hobbies are, whatever you want to share.”_ _

__“W-w-well we met at a D-d-erry Prep lacrosse g-g-game. I saw your son w-w-wandering around and I didn’t recognize him so I j-just had to go introduce myself. It t-t-took some convincing b-b-but he finally agreed to g-g-give me a chance.”_ _

__Stan was a little surprised to hear how calmly Bill delivered the lie. He didn’t sound nervous or awkward, it was kind of flirtatious. His heart fluttered._ _

__His mother laughed, clearly charmed. “I can see why he gave in.”_ _

__Bill smirked. “You’re son is v-very stubborn.”_ _

__“He gets it from his father,” Andrea said easily. “So tell me, Bill, what are your aspirations?”_ _

__“I’m a w-writer.”_ _

__“Are you working on anything right now?”_ _

__“I’m writing a c-c-coming of age story a-about a group of f-friends. It’s inspired by our friends a-actually.”_ _

__“I didn’t know that,” Stan said._ _

__Bill smiled at him._ _

__“This group of friends, anyone I’d know?” Andrea asked her son._ _

__“Eddie, Bev, Richie, Ben Hanscom, Mike Hanlon,” Stan said. He could see how surprised his mother was to hear that Stan had made so many new friends._ _

__“Richie, as in little Richie Tozier?”_ _

__“T-t-the one and o-o-only.”_ _

__“How in the world?”_ _

__“He’s m-my best f-f-friend.”_ _

__“He and Eddie just got together.”_ _

__Andrea looked between the two boys. She was absolutely stunned. “You don’t say.”_ _

__“It’s true,” Stan said._ _

__She let out a peal of laughter. “I always wondered if they’d get together when they were older. I can’t believe you all found each other again.”_ _

__“W-w-we’re pretty lucky.” Bill shot a look to Stan. He flushed under the attention._ _

__He could feel his mother’s eyes on them, watching them with approval. He had been nervous to introduce them, but Bill had finally infiltrated every part of Stan’s life. Stan was happy to have his mother know his boyfriend even if it wouldn’t last another two weeks. But for now, he liked how happy Bill made his mother. She seemed relieved, pleased for him. It was nice._ _

__After dinner, Bill complimented his mother’s cooking._ _

__“Thank you, Bill. You’re welcome back anytime,” she said._ _

__Bill blushed. Stan was sure that he was comparing tonight to his own family dinners. Stan took his hand and squeezed._ _

__“I’m going to walk Bill out to his car, then I’ll come back in and help clean up.”_ _

__“Take your time.” There was a devious light in her eye._ _

__Stan walked Bill to his car._ _

__“This was nice. Thank you.”_ _

__“You’re a lot l-l-like h-her.”_ _

__“Yeah?” Stan was puzzled._ _

__“Yeah. K-k-kind. W-w-welcoming. Sweet, b-b-but strong t-too. I g-g-guess I see w-w-where you g-g-get it f-f-from.”_ _

__Stan blushed. “Thanks for coming over. I know it meant a lot to her.”_ _

__Bill leaned in and kissed Stan on the cheek. As he pulled away he said, “we’ve got a spy.”_ _

__Stan laughed. His mom could be so predictable._ _

__“Goodnight, Bill.”_ _

__“G-g-goodnight, Stan.”_ _

__Stan watched Bill drive off. Stan went inside once Bill’s taillights were swallowed by the darkness. His mother was washing up in the kitchen. He joined her putting on a pair of yellow rubber gloves._ _

__“I like him.” She said._ _

__“Yeah, so do I.” And he meant it. God, how he meant it._ _

__His mother looked over at him appraising her son. “You’ve changed so much, Stan. I am so proud of the young man you’ve become. You’ve got so much life ahead of you, my love, and I can’t wait to see what you do with it.”_ _

__“Thanks, mom.”_ _

__“I love you, Stanley.”_ _

__“Love you too, Mom.”_ _

__“I’m just sorry your father can’t see what a bright young man you are becoming.” There were tears in her eyes._ _

__Stan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. She placed one sudsy hand on his cheek before pressing a kiss to his forehead._ _

__“You better go do you homework. I can get the last of it.”_ _

__As Stan left he couldn’t help but smile. Today had been a good day._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief respite from the angst, I hope you liked it! I had to do so much research for this chapter...  
> Let me know what your thoughts below! I love your comments and support. THANK YOU.  
> I think this fic will have about 18-20 chapters total. I've written through Ch 17 now, so things are beginning to wrap up. Hoping to get the rest of this published by the end of the month or possibly into early June depending on how long it takes me to write the rest. I hope you're enjoying the ride, I can't believe how far we've come. Jeez, I'm getting sentimental now. But I suppose it's what is due. Again I love you, and am so grateful to you all.  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	15. Chapter 15

On Thursday, Beverly skipped third period to get ready in the girl’s bathroom. When she met up with Stan and Eddie their jaws dropped. The dress, one that she had altered herself, was the palest pink Stan had seen. There was a fitted lace bodice, and a full tulle skirt. The back and side had geometric cut outs exposing Bev’s pale skin. It shouldn’t have matched her coloring, the flaming hair and pale pink of the dress should clash, but by some magic that was entirely Bev it worked. Her hair was braided at the top before falling into loose curls. Sprigs of baby’s breath were placed among the braided hair. She had on some subtle makeup which accentuated her bone structure and the color of her eyes, but did nothing to hide her freckles. When she smiled she was all Bev.

“How do I look?”

“Amazing.” Eddie was grinning.

“He’s going to love this,” Stan said.

“Holy shit, Bev, you look like a chick.” Richie whistled. When he had heard they were ditching lunch to go to DP he had insisted on coming.

“Beep beep, Richie. You all really think I look okay? Not too different?”

“Nah, it’s perfect Bev. Who did you get to do your hair and makeup so quickly?” Richie asked.

“Eva helped out,” Beverly smiled. Those two were becoming thick as thieves. It warmed Stan’s heart that Beverly was finding some female friends.

“We better go, if we want to make it there and back in time,” Eddie said looking at his watch.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Beverly said.

Richie ended up driving them over. Even though it was a short ride it was clear Beverly was nervous. She kept bouncing her knees up and down for the entire ride over. Stan placed his hand on her knee, calming her for a moment.

“We’ve got this, Bev. We could do this in our sleep.”

“I know, it’s just do I look dumb dressing up like this? And what if I fall?”

“I won’t let that happen.”

Beverly turned to look at him. She smiled. “What did I do to deserve you, Stan the Man?”

Stan shrugged. “I guess we losers got to stick together.”

“Losers, huh? I like that.” Beverly said.

“We’re here, m’lady.” Richie interrupted them doing a terrible British accent.

“You ready?” Stan asked.

“As I’ll ever be.”

Beverly led the group across the parking lot to where Bill, Mike and Ben were eating lunch. They were at one of the picnic tables by the edge of the parking lot just as Bev specified. As they approached Mike tapped Ben’s shoulder causing him to turn around. Upon seeing Bev his face turned bright pink. His forgotten sandwich fell to the table.

Beverly and Stan took their starting positions, and looked to Eddie to start.

Eddie pressed play. Richie held up a large cardstock sign that simply read:

PROM?

Stan smirked. Finally his long limbs were actually good for something. His smile softened as Bev looked at him in that moment before the music started. He let out a breath.

The opening chords to the song filled the air and Beverly began. If asked afterwards, Stan would be able to say what happened, but he knew they were flawless. Performing with Beverly gave him an adrenaline rush just like riding Bill’s skateboard. And they were magic.

A crowd had gathered and to watch them. And as the song ended the other students clapped and cheered. Voices began overlapping one another.

“Hanscom that’s your girlfriend?!” someone asked.

“They were so good.”

“I never knew guys could dance like that.”

Ben made his way through the crowd, boys were patting him on the back.

“So?” Beverly asked. She was breathless, but her smile was brighter than any that Stan had ever seen. “What do you say? Will you go to prom with me?”

He answered her by capturing her lips in his own. She threw her arms around his neck, melting into him. They really were the perfect couple.

The crowd cheered even more. In all the noise Stan found Bill for the first time and his heart stopped. This was the first time he had seen Bill in a DP uniform and he looked good. The blazer accentuated the sharpness of his shoulders. His shirt was unbuttoned at the throat, his tie loosened just enough to suggest a devil-may-care kind of attitude. It was hot.

“You were b-b-beautiful,” Bill said.

“It was mostly, Bev.”

“Beauty is contrast. S-s-sure she would have b-been incredible by herself, but w-w-with you she was able to d-d-do so much more. It w-was more visually interesting.”

“I think some of the ballet teachers would like to get you to come lecture for the younger students.” Stan teased.

“N-n-not with my stutter.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I love your stutter.”

They were interrupted by Richie coming over to them. He slung his arms around each of them. “So lover boy, got any extra food? Your boy’s starving.”

Eddie trotted up a moment later, face pinched. “I’m sorry about him. I tried to hold him back as long as I could.”

Bill laughed. “P-p-packed extra for you all so that you could stay l-longer.”

Richie clapped his hands together. “Lead the way, my good fellow. Lead the way!”

“What is with you and the British guy?” Eddie asked.

“You know the ladies say accents are sexy,” Richie said dropping into a strong French accent.

“Do I look like a lady?”

“You’re much too mean to be a lady, Eds. You’re mother on the other hand –”

“Beep beep!”

Richie laughed.

When they got to the table they found Mike still sitting there.

“Hey, guys! I filmed the whole thing so that you and Bev can see it later.”

“Thanks, Mike. That’s really thoughtful of you,” Stan said sitting down next to Bill.

Beverly and Ben wandered over, the crowd behind them dispersing.

“Ben said you brought extra food?” Bev said.

Bill and Mike began pulling out extra bagged lunches. The kids from Derry high fell on them ravenously. Stan hadn’t even realized how hungry he had been. Once they were done eating, Stan leaned on Bill. He looked up to read Bill’s response. The other boy seemed surprised at Stan’s touch. He tensed, grimacing a bit, before relaxing. Stan hoped to any other students it looked casual and friendly, but with all the other couples at the table he craved Bill’s touch.

Beverly was stretched out across a bench, her head in Ben’s lap. He was playing with her curls. Richie had an arm around Eddie, the other boy leaning into his touch.

“We should do this more often,” Mike said looking at his friends.

“Do what?” Richie asked.

“Eat lunch together outside. It’s nice.”

“I like when we’re all together,” Beverly said not opening her eyes. “Stan, what did you call us earlier?”

“Losers?”

“Yeah.” Her voice took on a dreamy quality. “We’re the Losers Club.”

“The Losers Club?” Richie asked.

“Sure, we got a clubhouse and everything.”

Ben beamed down at her. “I like it.”

“No offense, Haystack, but of course you like it. You’d be a shitty boyfriend not to,” Richie said.

Eddie elbowed him in the ribs. “I agree with Bev. It’s nice having a name for our friend group.”

“Auspicious,” Beverly said.

“Lucky,” Stan said remembering what Beverly said the first time they had hung out together.

Bill looked down at him curiously.

“Lucky,” Beverly agreed. “So it’s settled. We’re the Losers Club.”

“Alright, alright,” Richie sighed. “But if we’re going to be a club we need a leader.”

“Bill, obviously,” Eddie said.

Bill looked surprised as they all turned to look at him.

“It w-was Bev’s idea.”

She sat up, capturing Ben’s hand in her own. “I think it’s got to be you. You’re kinda at the heart of everything. We’d all follow you.”

Eddie, Mike, and Ben were nodding.

“You’re like Ender,” Stan couldn’t believe he was saying this out loud. “You can’t help but inspire others to follow you.”

Bill had a peculiar, pinched look on his face.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Staniel?” Richie asked.

“Beep Beep.” Eddie elbowed him.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

Stan could feel everyone’s eyes on him and Bill. He almost regretted speaking up until he saw the hint of a smile on Bill’s face. Bill turned to look at him, “Y-y-you really m-mean that?”

“Sure I do.”

“Get a room –”

“Shhhh.”

“Yeah, a-a-alright. I’ll do it,” Bill said looking around the circle of his friends.

Distantly they could hear a bell ringing.

“Fuck how’d it get so late?” Eddie said looking at his watch.

“Guess we’d better go,” Beverly said. She pecked Ben on the cheek.

“We’re never going to make it back in time,” Eddie said.

“Oh ye of little faith.” Richie tousled his hair. “Not with that attitude we won’t.”

A look of pure horror crossed Eddie’s face. The Loser Club said its hasty goodbyes, promising to meet up later at the lacrosse game. The Derry High chapter raced to Richie’s car and they sped back to their school. Stan began to sense a pattern in Richie’s driving. It appeared they were always in a rush when Richie had to drive and that meant speeding and the risk of being ticketed. Luckily they made it back to class just before the bell rang. Unfortunately, Beverly wasn’t able to change back so everyone was staring at her for the rest of the day. But that was okay. She was positively radiant.

–

After school, Eddie’s mom picked him up for another doctor’s appointment. He felt excited as it might mean that he could return to ballet next week. His body positively hummed at the idea. Watching Stan and Bev today made him realize just how much he missed dancing.

“Mom, if the doctor says it’s okay I’m going back to ballet next week,” Eddie said.

His mom looked surprised. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, your injury is still healing.”

“I need to keep using my muscles and stay in shape.”

“I was thinking maybe you shouldn’t dance anymore. You’re too fragile.”

“You’re wrong.”

Sonia Kasbrak slammed on the breaks. “Eddie.”

“Listen, mom. I’ve lived my whole life under your dictation. I am sick of it. I’m old enough to make my own choices.”

“Eddie –”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’ve made up my mind.”

She floundered, but before she could say more the car approaching them honked at her.

“We’ll discuss this later.” She began to drive again.

Eddie kept silent. He had made up his mind.

–

The doctor examined Eddie’s shoulder and noted that he was healing well. At the end of the appointment Eddie asked if the doctor thought he would be able to start dancing again.

“I think it would be good for you to start working your muscles, but I want you to avoid anything overly strenuous. No lifting for another month, got it? Do you think your teachers would be okay with those concessions?”

Eddie nodded. He was sure he could find a way to gently work his muscles without overtiring himself. Plus part of him was relieved that he wouldn’t have to lift Greta anytime soon.

“Alright then, I’ll write up a note that you can show your instructors.” The doctor said moving away to his desk.

Eddie’s heart soared. Finally he could return to the dance studio.

His mother didn’t talk much on the drive home, nor did she say anything during dinner. She seemed resigned. Eddie was able to leave with little trouble so long as he promised that he would be home before it got too late.

–

He arrived late at the lacrosse game. His friends were in deep conversation about the proposal Beverly was writing for Madame Wallace. The only one missing was Mike.

Eddie tucked himself into his usual spot, under Richie’s arm, and listened to his friends as they talked. It felt good, like they were starting something. At the heart of a movement.

Beverly bulleted out the points as people gave them to her.

“Bill, would you be willing to look at this once I have a first draft?” Bev asked.

“Sure, B-bev. I’d be h-h-happy to.”

Mike jogged over to the group, followed by a man in his thirties.

“Mr. McArthur!” Ben said pushing past the group to say hello. “Bev, this is the man I was telling you about.”

Eddie wasn’t the only one out of the loop. Both Richie and Stan looked confused.

Bev shook McArthur’s hand.

“I hear you’re the one responsible for getting Derry High to consider forming a GSA,” he said.

“Yes sir.”

“You must be a remarkable young lady.”

“Mr. McArthur has taken up our cause for DP,” Mike said.

“Thank you, Hanlon. You students should take more credit though. A change of this magnitude would not have occurred without your persistence.”

“You mean Derry Prep is forming a gay straight alliance?” Eddie asked.

“Yes. We hope that our lead will allow for other schools to follow our model. Perhaps in the future we will be able to combine forces,” McArthur said with a smile.

“Are you single?” Richie asked.

Everyone’s eyes snapped to Richie in shock.

McArthur laughed uncomfortably.

“Not for me, dipshits. I’m just saying Madame Wallace is a very attractive young woman. And despite the name I know for sure she’s single.”

“Emily Wallace?”

“You know her?” Richie asked.

McArthur looked chagrined. “Sure I know her. She’s the one leading up the fight at Derry High?”

“Yes she is,” Beverly said.

“She’s a good one to have in your corner,” McArthur said.

“We think so too.”

“Well I better get back to the game. Have fun,” McArthur waved to them before leaving.

“I like him,” Beverly said once it was just the Losers. “He seems like a good choice.”

“He’s the best. He’s one of the few teachers that supports the students, whether it’s sports or the play McArthur always shows up.” Ben sounded like he was a little in love with the guy, it was easy to see why.

Beverly had a smirk. “Did you say the play?”

“Yeah, why?”

“DP does theatrical productions?”

“Sure.”

“With all guys?”

“Yeah?”

“Who plays the girls?” 

“Well… the guys,” Ben was blushing hard now.

Beverly’s smirk grew bigger. “Ben have you been in a play here?”

“No… okay once… but I played a guy.”

“Sure, Haystack.” Richie said. “Let us know the next time you’re cast. I’d love to see you up on stage.”

“Beep beep, Rich.”

“No really, we fellow performers must support one another.” Richie said posing on the bleachers.

Eddie tugged him back down. “Shut up, you’re embarrassing him.”

“Make me, babe.”

Eddie kissed him.

Beverly whistled loudly, while the others had the good sense to look away.

When they broke apart Richie had a dazed look on his face. “Woah. Didn’t think you had it in you, Eds.”

Eddie pushed him away with a laugh. He couldn’t believe he had just done that… but to be fair he hated to back down from a challenge. Maybe that’s why he and Richie were so good for one another, they pushed each other’s buttons just right. Richie managed to pull him back to him with his stupidly long arms. Eddie bit back a smile. He loved feeling Richie around him.

He looked around at his friends. Lucky number seven. His gaze drifted over to where Stan was sitting alone. It was weird that Bill wasn’t sitting with him like usual. Instead he was sitting with Georgie, looking anywhere but at Stan. Eddie supposed that boyfriends didn’t always need to be together… although he couldn’t imagine not sitting with Richie. He reminded himself to ask Stan about it later. But for right now he intended to enjoy his boyfriend’s arms around him as he watched the DP lacrosse game, surrounded by his friends. He felt good. He had stood up to his mother and had gotten an okay from his doctor to return to ballet next week. Things were starting to look up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> I have published my new fic. It's called Bloody Noses and Crack'd Crowns. If you go check it out I'll love you forever!! But even though I started a new fic, don't think I'm going to abandon this one...not when we're so close to the end.  
> Please leave a comment and lmk your thoughts. Any guesses as to what's to come next? Why Bill isn't sitting with Stan? I await your theories.  
> Thank you for the continued support. Y'all are amazing!  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	16. Chapter 16

After French on Friday, Madame Wallace asked Beverly and Stan to wait a moment.

“I talked to the board of directors. It seems that Derry Prep is forming a GSA. Do you have anything to do with that?” There was a mischievous look to her eye which made her look younger than she was.

“We have some friends there.” Beverly smiled.

“Well that’s very smart of you. The board is willing to consider your proposal even if it is not something they believe in.”

“Why?” Stan asked.

“Because if Derry Prep is doing it, it puts us to shame if we do not.” Madame Wallace said. “Can you get it to me early next week?”

“Yes ma’am. I already have a first draft ready that a friend is going to look over. Hopefully I can get you a revised copy by Wednesday.”

“That sounds wonderful, Beverly. You two better hurry on to your next class. I just wanted to update you on what I knew.”

They thanked her profusely. Beverly and Stan ran through the halls, their feet barely touching the floor.

–

After ballet, Beverly met Bill at his car. She passed her proposal to him. “You really don’t mind looking this over.”

“N-not at all, B-bev.”

She beamed. “Thank you, Bill.”

“I’ll g-get it back to you b-b-by Monday.”

“Perfect! Have a good weekend you two.”

Bill nodded. Once she left them alone all his good nature fell, leaving only a troubled expression on his face. He eased the car into drive, a heavy silence filling the air.

“This has all g-g-gotten so complicated.”

Stan jumped in his seat. His heart began to race. “What do –”

“I d-d-didn’t think lying w-would be so h-h-hard.”

“Bill?”

“I t-t-think we should b-break up now. Before P-prom. It w-would save us both the t-t-trouble.” Bill said.

“Why are you saying this?” Stan asked blinking tears back.

“Aren’t you t-t-tired, Stan? Of the constant l-l-lying and f-f-feeling like this?” Bill made a gesture to express his anguish.

Stan had always known this was going to happen, but even so he was blindsided. This wasn’t what he wanted. Not anymore. Not like this. Confusion roared about Stan’s head. He had always been the one keeping his distance, telling Bill that they couldn’t be friends after. What had shifted? When had Bill began thinking that way too? Had he heard Stan say it so much that he began to believe it? What if Bill thought he hated him when in fact it was the opposite? Panic rose strangling Stan.

“S-stan, t-talk to me…”

“Are you saying that you think we should break up before Prom or are you calling it? Right here. Right now.” Stan couldn’t look at Bill.

“I’m c-calling it. W-we’ve done too much d-d-damage.”

What the hell did that mean? Too much damage? To who?

“Where’s this coming from, Bill?” Stan forced himself to calm down to look at Bill.

Bill’s knuckles tightened on the steering wheel.

“I t-t-thought this is what you w-w-wanted. To be d-d-done.”

“We said until Prom.”

“I d-d-don’t think that’s a good idea anymore.”

“We made a deal.”

“You a-also said I could call quits. I’m c-c-calling it.”

“What changed?”

Bill gave him a pathetic smile as if it were obvious, like the answer was something Stan should know.

“Your f-feelings t-towards me.”

Stan felt like he had been slapped. Did Bill know he was in love with him? Is that why he hated him now? What had given him away? Stan thought that Bill was okay with being gay, that’s why they had started all this… but maybe he was uncomfortable now that another boy actually had feelings for him. Maybe it was different. Stan wanted to vomit. Homophobia was rampant in Derry. It was to be expected. But seeing it in someone he had come to love and trust? He couldn’t look at Bill any longer. His blood boiled, and for the first time in a long time his feelings of hatred returned. Stan loathed Bill Denbrough. Stan hated himself for how weak he had become. How infatuated and besotted he was. How vulnerable he was. He never should have agreed to this stupid plan. He knew he was going to get hurt, why hadn’t he just said no? He couldn’t be this close to Bill any longer. He opened the passenger door. Bill jammed on the breaks.

“W-w-what the fuck?”

“I’ll walk.”

“Stan –?”

“You’re right, we’ve done a lot of damage. Quit while we’re ahead. Goodbye, Bill Denbrough. Have a nice life.” Stan slammed the door and it felt good. He didn’t look over his shoulder at Bill. He refused to give in to his weaker side that was begging to look at Bill. They were through.

Stan trudged home. When his mother saw him she knew something was wrong. There was no hiding it. She opened her arms and he ran to her crying. She held him as he sobbed. He craved this. Love. Contact. He had been starved of it for too long. When he was done she didn’t ask what was wrong, she trusted him to come to her when he was ready. Stan doubted he would ever be ready.

He was pathetic. His first heartbreak was over a pretend boyfriend who turned out to be just like everyone else in this godforsaken town. What was more pathetic than that?

Although the Losers invited him out during the weekend, Stan claimed he had too much homework to do. He didn’t see any of his friends at all. Part of him expected them to be asking what happened, but it was all silent on that front. Maybe Bill hadn’t told them yet. Stan wondered why he would be keeping their break up a secret. He tried not to think about it. He could feel his mother’s worried eyes on him as he moped around the house, but he wasn’t quite ready to confess to her. Not yet. He couldn’t admit to her how pathetic and lame he was. He didn’t want her pity any more than he already had it.

–

Eddie couldn’t wait for Monday. In the morning he packed his back pack as well as a bag for ballet. His mother had watched him with big eyes, but she knew better than to ask him to come home instead. She had given him a lot more space recently. He knew he had hurt her, and that she was puzzled about what she had done wrong, but for the first time he felt free. He was finally gaining some autonomy. He felt positively giddy.

As he walked through the hallways with Richie he felt like he was floating. Prom was this weekend. He had a sweet, hot, funny, incredible date. An amazing group of friends to go with, and his life was beginning to move on after his injury. He chatted cheerfully to Richie, talking a mile a minute about everything form their boutonnieres to chem homework. At his locker he met up with Stan and only then did his chatter slow down.

Stan looked awful.

His eyes were red like he had been crying. The dark circles had returned and his skin had an unhealthy sheen. Even his curls seemed limp and tangled, a first for Stan.

“Holy shit, Stan, you look fucking dead.”

Eddie elbowed Richie. While what he said was not untrue there was definitely a better way of expressing it. Sometimes Richie could be an absolute dolt.

“Are you okay, Stan? Are you getting sick?” Eddie asked.

They hadn’t seen him all weekend, so Eddie theorized it was possible.

“You better not be, it would suck if you couldn’t go to prom with us,” Richie said.

Stan let out a whimper – almost impossible to catch in the crowd – but Eddie, an expert on Stan’s mannerisms, caught it. His eyes widened. Something really was wrong.

“Stan is everything okay? It’s not your dad is it?” Eddie asked. He began to worry that maybe Stan’s dad had come back and had somehow forced his mother to turn against him… these worries were put to a stop by Stan shaking his head.

“Stan you’re kinda freaking me out, man,” Richie said. “I know! I’ll call Bill. Maybe he can help.”

A look of pure terror took hold of Stan. “DON’T.”

“Okay. I won’t then. Jeez, Staniel.”

“I just don’t want to worry him.” It was so soft that it was almost impossible to hear.

The bell rang as Eddie and Richie exchanged worried looks. Something was most definitely wrong.

–

No amount of coaxing or questioning from either Richie, Bev, or Eddie could get Stan to open up. Eddie thought that something must have happened, something worse than what Patrick did, if it’s gotten Stan this deep into his own head. He worried that some part of Stan is permanently lost, and he doesn't know how to help Stan find that missing piece. He hated seeing his friend in distress. He only hoped that things would resolve themselves before the weekend.

After classes, before Bev and Stan join them, Richie pulled Eddie aside.

“Hey can you walk without me today?”

“Why?”

“It’s just… I’m worried about Stan, and I think someone should go talk to Bill.”

“Can’t you just call him after you walk us?” Eddie didn’t mean to whine, but he was looking forward to Richie walking him to ballet.

“It’s not just that. I think Patrick noticed how Stan was today. I saw him eyeing Stan on the way to fourth period. I’m worried that he might try and do something.”

Fear spiked through Eddie’s system. “That’s all the more reason you should walk with us. Hockstetter won’t attack us with those odds. Not even with Bowers and Belch.”

Richie looked thoughtful.

“You can get Bill after. Please, Rich. Walk with us?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Eddie gave a small smile. He took Richie’s hand in his own. It was nice to see Richie worry about Stan.

Beverly and Stan appeared and the four Losers began their walk to the Ukrainian Club. Stan didn’t talk the entire way there. But Beverly and Richie kept a conversation going. As they neared the building Eddie felt excited and nervous. He hoped he didn’t suck. He had missed this for so long and if he was terrible after not dancing for two weeks it would be a grave blow.

–

Eddie had nothing to worry about. While he was expressly told to avoid lifting his partner and to keep his arm movements minimal, Eddie found that ballet came back to him like he had never left. It was easy and calming. He could even see Stan losing himself in the music, the tightness in his neck and shoulders finally letting up.

Near the end of class the door was thrown open by a woman Eddie did not recognize. Everyone turned to her, the ballet master opened his mouth to tell her off when she said:

“Stanley, please come. I think they are killing him.”

Stan bolted following the unknown woman out the door. After a moment’s hesitation Eddie and Beverly followed. They ignored the ballet master as he tried to regain control of the room.

–

When Svetlana had broken into the class Stan had thought his heart was going to give out. But somehow here it was pounding blood through his body as he raced down the stairs after her. She was speaking, trying to explain, but it was all too fast and half of it was Ukrainian. Stan could only pray that they didn’t get there too late.

They raced out into the spring air. Svetlana ran around the corner to the parking lot. Already in the distance were the sound of police sirens getting nearer and nearer. But none of that mattered.

In the parking lot, Patrick was straddling Bill. He was savagely beating Bill’s face with what looked like a gun. Bill’s arms were being held down by Henry and Belch. His clothes were a mess of blood and dirt. Stan’s blood ran cold. He began running to Bill, but arms pulled him back. He knew it was Eddie and Bevlery. He fought against their hold. He couldn’t let this happen. Not again. Not like this.

Svetlana began yelling at the older boys, but they only laughed at her accent. They were too drunk on power to notice that the police had arrived. It only stopped once they began pulling them away from the body. EMTs flooded the recently vacated space and began to examine Bill.

Stan broke away from his friends only to be stopped by a cop.

“Please, he’s my boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry, lad. But he needs to be taken to a hospital. Immediately. By any chance do you know what happened?”

Stan looked to where Bill was being loaded onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. Slowly his attention returned to the police officer.

“Lad,” he said more gently, “do you know what happened?”

“I… no. Svetlana just came and said she thought they were killing him. She asked me to come.”

“Svetlana?” the cop asked.

Stan pointed to where Svetlana was standing. She was still as a statue now, tears running down her cheeks.

“And what’s your name, lad?”

“Stanley Uris.”

“Alright, Stanley. Let’s go talk to your friends.”

The cop led Stanley back to where Svetlana and the others were waiting.

“Miss?” the cop asked.

Svetlana slowly turned her attention to him.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Svetlana Mikhailov.”

“What happened?”

“I was cleaning up my classroom when I heard shouts from outside. The window faces the parking lot,” Svetlana gestured to one of the windows on the first floor. “When I looked out I saw that pack of boys waiting. Bill had just arrived and was approaching them. That’s when they attacked him. It wasn’t a fair fight. I called 9-11 before running up to the second floor to get Bill’s boyfriend.”

“Why did you feel the need to get him?” the cop asked.

“Because if your lover was being beaten to death wouldn’t you want to try and stop it. To be there for them?” Svetlana asked.

“And then what happened?”

“We ran back down here. I tried to yell at boys to stop, but they only laugh at my accent. Then you show up.”

The cop jotted down some notes. “I’m sure this will be a pretty cut and dry case, but even so we may need you to testify in court as a witness.”

He gave her his card before going to join the cops that had remained.

“I’m sorry you shouldn’t have had to see that. Maybe I shouldn’t have called you.” Svetlana looked at Stan before pulling him into an embrace. 

He breathed in her scent. Sandalwood. It was calming. It reminded him of Bill. He pulled away. 

“I’m glad you did. Svetlana, would you be willing to give me a ride to the hospital? I need to find out how he’s doing.”

“Of course, go change and I’ll meet you here.”

Stan ran to his friends. “Call the others. See if Ben or Richie can get everyone to Derry Hospital. I’ll meet you guys there.”

“Stan –” Eddie began.

“Call Georgie too.”

Beverly nodded. “We’ll see you soon.”

“Bev, your attendance,” Eddie said.

“Screw my perfect attendance. This was more important.”

– 

Stan has never changed so quickly. His thoughts keep returning to Bill. He wondered why Bill was there in the first place. He wasn’t there to pick Stan up, so why had he come? Why were Patrick and the others there? Sure they cruised around in Belch’s car, but they had never come to the Ukrainian Club. Stan wondered if they had come for him. Had they sensed some vulnerability in him and had called to collect in on it? Stan shivered at the thought. He was glad that they were being interrogated at the police station and couldn’t hurt them.

It didn’t take long for Svetlana and him to arrive at Derry Hospital. They were told that Bill had been admitted and was currently being seen by a doctor. They went to sit in some chairs by a large pane window. Stan texted his mother what happened. She told him that as soon as work was over she would stop by the hospital if he were still there. The thought warmed him, and once again Stan marveled at Bill’s ability to be so beloved by those around him.

Georgie was the next to arrive. His practice had ended when Richie had called him and so he was able to get here before the others. When he saw Stan he gave the older boy a hug. The two just held each other bound by their worry and love.

Georgie pulled away first. “Have you heard anything yet?”

“No. Are your parents going to come?”

“The hospital would have called them, but I’m not sure when they’ll show up. Dad’s at work, and I doubt Mom would come by herself. Probably too drunk to drive.”

“Your parents would not come for their son?” Svetlana asked.

“Georgie this is Svetlana, she called the police. Svetlana this is Georige. Bill’s younger brother.” Stan said realizing how rude he had been to not introduce them.

“Thank you for calling the cops,” Georgie said sounding older than his years.

Svetlana smiled.

At that moment the lobby was filled with the worried voices of the other Losers. They asked the nurse at the nurses’ station for news but were only directed to Stan, Svetlana, and Georgie. They made their way over, taking up an inordinate amount of space, with their love and concern. Stan felt comforted in the quiet chaos.

Beverly took the seat next to Stan, wrapping her arm around his and tucking her head on his shoulder. Her touch was warm and grounding. Richie sat with Georgie, keeping the boy distracted with halfhearted jokes. He kept an arm around the younger boy, casual enough that Georgie could slip out of it if he wanted, but Stan could see that it’s weight was connecting them keeping them both sane. 

Eddie held Richie’s free hand, his gaze drifting from his boyfriend to Stan. He knew that they were all worried for Bill, but Richie and Stan were taking it the hardest. He also knew that Richie was drowning in guilt. He was the reason that Bill was in that parking lot today. He had been worried something was about to go down and foolishly he hadn’t been there to back Bill up. Eddie had told him that he couldn’t have known, and it wasn’t his fault, but Richie was still taking it pretty badly.

Ben and Mike talked to Svetlana. Occasionally one of them would go to the nurses’ station to ask for updates, but there wasn’t anything yet.

Not too much later and Stan’s mom arrived. When he saw her he rose. Beverly let him go instantly. Andrea pulled her son into a tight hold.

“Are you alright? I was worried they might have hurt you too.”

“I’m okay.”

She looked him in the eye, holding his head so that he couldn’t look away. “Tell me the truth, Stanley.”

“I’m terrified.” The tears which he had worked so hard to keep in check began to spill over. He sobbed as his mother pulled him into her arms once more.

His friends watched in an uncomfortable silence.

Andrea’s eyes scanned the group, looking for some other parental figure. “Where are the Denbroughs?”

“Hi, I’m Georgie. Bill’s brother. Our parents are probably on their way home from work right now. I’m sure they’re on their way.” He lied.

Andrea seemed to believe him.

She led her son back to one of the waiting room chairs as his sobs began to calm down. Stan hiccuped a little as he began to gain control. Even so the tightness in his stomach refused to go away.

After waiting for about an hour and a half a doctor could be seen making his way to the nurses’ station. A nurse gestured to their large group and everyone seemed to sit up straighter as he approached.

“Mrs. Denbrough?” the doctor asked looking between both Andrea and Svetlana.

“No. I’m afraid the Denbrough’s are stuck in traffic.” Andrea said. 

“I see.”

“Is he –?” Stan couldn’t finish his own question.

“He’s pretty banged up. He has a moderate concussion, but there isn’t any permanent damage to his brain. It should heal up in a few days. He’s got some pretty bad bruising along his ribs, arms, and stomach. He had a little internal bleeding, but it appears that it has stopped on its own. We would still like to keep him here for several days just to be sure.”

“Can we go see him?” Richie asked.

“He’s still out, he’s pretty heavily sedated right now.” The doctor looked at the worried faces of the teens before giving in. “Give it another half hour. I’ll tell the nurses that if he’s started to show signs of waking up that you may visit. But you must go in quietly. And certainly not all at once.”

Andrea thanked the doctor heartily.

“And please send his parents to the nurses’ station as soon as they arrive. I really would like to chat with them once they get here.”

Georgie looked nervous at that but nodded all the same. Once the doctor had left he went to call his parents.

Svetlana left after the doctor’s visit. She promised Stan that she would come check in on Bill during the week, but now she really did have to get home to make dinner for her mother. Beverly also had to leave as her parents would be suspicious why she was gone so late. She kissed Stan on the cheek, and asked him to text her any updates. Ben drove her home.

Eddie and Mike left next, leaving just Richie, Andrea, Stan, and Georgie.

After what felt like another hour, but was really closer to thirty minutes, a nurse approached them telling them that Bill was starting to wake up. Georgie looked up hopefully.

“Go ahead, Georgie. We’ll wait for your parents,” Richie said with a smile.

He nodded and allowed the nurse to lead him direct him down the hall.

“Where are they? They should be here by now. If it were my son...” Andrea trailed off thoughtfully.

Stan took his mother’s hand in his own, leaning his head on her shoulder. They both drew comfort from the gesture.

–

Stan was the last one to go in. Bill was dozing lightly, and under the dimmed fluorescent lighting he looked awful. There were bruises across his cheekbones, casting a dark shadow on his face. His knuckles were bandaged. His chest rose and fell a little unevenly. A sob was lodged in the back of Stan’s throat. How could this have happened? Bill wasn’t even supposed to be picking Stan up anymore, not since they were broken up. What was he even doing at the Ukrainian Club? And why were Bowers and Hockstetter there? Stan couldn’t help but feel that they had been waiting for him. And even if he was mad at Bill for breaking his heart he didn’t deserve this. No one deserved this.

“Hey. You’re d-doing that thing. W-worrying,” Bill’s voice was thick with sleep and drugs.

Stan’s brow furrowed further.

“I’m a-a-alright, Stan. Nothing I c-c-can’t handle.” His eyelids fluttered, pulling him back towards sleep.

“I’ll come visit you tomorrow,” Stan said. He wasn’t even sure if that was something Bill wanted, not when they had left things as they had. But now was no time for apologies. He needed Bill to rest so that he would be okay. Suddenly facing a world without Bill Denbrough by his side became unbearable.

His hand hovered over Bill’s hair, but he wasn’t even sure that he had the right to touch the other boy anymore. Leaving Bill in that bed, vulnerable and kept company only by a beeping monitor, was the most painful thing Stan had ever done.

–

By the time he returned to the waiting room the Debrough’s had shown up. Bill’s father was at the sign in desk filling out some paperwork. His wife was just a couple steps behind him, clutching Georgie to her.

“I wish he wouldn’t keep provoking these fights,” Mrs. Denbrough said.

Stan’s eyes snapped to her. He wondered how someone so full of love had come from two people who knew nothing about it. Who had taught Bill to be so thoughtful and loving? It certainly wasn’t his parents.

Richie looked ready to charge Mrs. Denbrough, but Andrea gripped his shoulder keeping him in place. Once the Denbroughs were done at the counter they moved over to where the others were standing.

“Thank you for waiting here,” Zach Denbrough said not looking at Richie or Stan.

Andrea nodded tightly.

“We’ll look in on our son, and then we need to get Georgie home. It’s getting late and tonight is a school night.”

Richie grabbed at Stan’s hand and this time he didn’t know who was holding who back.

“Of course,” Andrea said. Stan could hear the strain in her voice. “Let’s get you boys home. Richie, dear, do you need a ride?”

Richie shook his head.

As they were leaving they heard Sharon speaking to her husband.

“I don’t see why they called us in, it looks like things were handled.”

“Hush, love. At least we had time to finish our supper.”

Rage burned through he Stan. He turned on his heel, evading both his mother and Richie. He ran to catch up to the Denbroughs who had begun to walk down the hall.

“You don’t deserve him.”

The family turned.

“Excuse me?” Zach asked.

“He is so good and kind and loving. He could have died tonight, and you show up late because what? You didn’t want your dinner to get cold? You have two amazing sons, but you act as if one of them was never born just because he made a mistake. Once. You’ve never forgiven him. He doesn’t forgive himself. How can he when all you do reminds him of how he’s not good enough?”

“How dare you?” Sharon asked.

“You’re so worried about losing one son, that when you almost lost the other you register nothing. And yet Bill still turned out okay. Somewhere along the way he learned how to be a good person and it certainly wasn’t from you. You don’t deserve him and yet you have him. Do better.”

Before anything more could said Stan stormed away. His mother and Richie followed. Once they were outside, and the cool fresh air washed over him Stan felt like he could breathe again.

“Damn, Staniel. Didn’t know you had that in you,” Richie said.

Stan shrugged. He didn’t feel like talking.

“You know, I’ve known Bill for several years now. And all that stuff you said about him he learned from raising Georgie, and Georgie learned it from him. But I think he’s inspired by you. How you stand up for your friends and beliefs. Your passion and holy, Jewish-righteousness and fervor… not the religious bits but that take no shit from anyone bit that honestly can be a bit scary sometimes. He might have made the first move, but he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t think you could reflect and magnify it back. Like calls to like, ya know?”

Stan let out a sob. “It’s my fault he’s in that hospital bed.”

Richie looked guilty. “No, man. I called him.”

“What?”

“After walking you guys to ballet, I called him. I didn’t like the way Patrick was looking at you. I thought if he got there early you might be less of a target. I should have come with him. He shouldn’t have been alone.”

“Oh.”

So Bill hadn’t wanted to pick Stan up. Probably didn’t want anything more to do with him. He had just felt obligated to come because of Richie. And now he was hurt. Stan’s tears began to fall more heavily. He crashed into Richie, the older boy just held him.

“Staniel? Stan?”

Stan couldn’t stop crying.

“Hey, man. Let’s agree that what happened today wasn’t anyone’s fault but Patrick and the others. They’re not going to get away with this. You know that, right?”

Stan nodded against Richie’s shoulder.

“Good. Now your mom is looking fairly concerned. I think you should go home and get some rest. It’s been a rough day for all of us.”

“Thanks, Rich.” Stan pulled away, sniffling a bit.

Richie smiled. “Aw, shucks. Staniel, you’re so cute when you’re all vulnerable like this. No wonder Bill loves you.”

Stan tried to smile, but he knew it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Nevertheless Richie pulled him into another hug, and Stan melted into his warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY.  
> I promise things will start looking up again in the next chapter. Until then leave a comment and tell me what you think, and if you haven't go check out my new story, Bloody Noses & Crack'd Crowns.  
> Sending happy vibes until the next update. I love you all.  
> Yrs.  
> TWoW


	17. Chapter 17

Eddie knew that something was wrong with Stan. He would be a pretty shit best friend if he didn’t. Initially he thought it was just the fact that Bill was in the hospital, but as time went on he began to think it might be something else.

It was Tuesday evening when Eddie first became suspicious. The Losers had decided to go visit Bill in the hospital after ballet. Mike and Ben were there waiting when the others, driven by Richie, showed up.

“Stan, do you want to go in alone first? We don’t mind waiting,” Ben said.

Stan shrunk at the offer. Eddie wondered if it was guilt, but Richie had said that he’d talked to Stan about that, so it must be something else. 

“Uh, no. I think we should all go in as a group. I don’t want to waste our time.” Stan wouldn’t meet anyone’s gaze.

Ben frowned, but was too kind to push further.

They went to Bill’s room as a group; Stan trailed a little further behind the rest.

Bill was propped up in his hospital bed. The monitor beeped steadily, displaying his vitals. Eddie hadn’t seen him yesterday so he was shocked at Bill’s condition. His face was bruised and there were some stitches above his eye. His knuckles were wrapped, and if Eddie had to guess he probably had bandages around his chest too. Even so, Bill brightened visibly at their arrival.

“Fuck, Bill. You look –” Mike couldn’t bring himself to finish his thought.

Bill cracked a smile. “I l-look awful. It’s o-okay. You can say it.”

“You gotta stop playing white knight,” Beverly said.

“Richie c-called and I answered. Can’t leave my r-r-ride or d-d-die hanging.” Bill had the audacity to smirk.

Richie laughed. “Even so. Shoulda been with you.”

“Then w-we’d b-both be in these b-beds. We t-t-talked about this.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Patrick, Henry, and Belch are still detained. They’re being charged with aggravated assault and are looking at some time in Shawshank. Not much but it’s something,” Ben said.

The others turned to him. 

“How did you find that out?” Beverly asked.

“My mom. She um wanted me to know. I thought I would tell you all in person,” Ben said. “I know I could have just used the group chat, but I figured we needed the good news.”

Beverly kissed him on the cheek as he rambled. “You were right to wait til we were all together.”

“Y-yeah. Thanks, B-Ben.” Bill smiled.

“So any idea when you’re getting out of here?” Richie asked.

“They’re saying W-wednesday. Just w-w-want to keep me under o-o-observation for a little w-while longer I g-guess.”

Richie nodded.

The group continued to talk about everything, but Eddie noticed that Stan looked everywhere but at Bill. The two boys didn’t even address one another at all. Whatever was going on between them had to be more than just guilt and Eddie was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Eddie waited until Wednesday evening to confront Stan. A whole 24 hours later. He surprised himself with his patience, but he didn’t like the idea of coercing Stan to talk if he wasn’t ready. Then again he also knew that if he waited for Stan to open up about his feelings he might be waiting a decade, and whatever was weighing on Stan couldn’t wait that long. So after ballet Eddie asked if Stan wanted to come hang out at his house for awhile.

Stan shrugged.

Eddie decided to take that as a yes. He waited until they were in the privacy of his own room before turning on Stan.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

Eddie leveled Stan a look which made it clear that he wasn’t getting out of this that easily. “Something has been bothering you since before Bill ended up in the hospital. What is it?”

Stan let out something that might have passed for a laugh. “Jeez, Eddie, not holding back one bit, huh?”

“Stan, I’m worried.”

Stan moved uncomfortably around the room before heading to Eddie’s closet door. “This your suit for Prom?”

Eddie nodded, but he wasn’t going to let himself be distracted from the issue at hand.

“It’s nice. You and Rich are going to look good.” Stan had a thin smile.

“Are you upset because you and Bill can’t go?” Eddie asked.

That seemed to strike a nerve.

“Stan? Talk to me.”

Stan turned to look at Eddie, pure heartbreak radiating from his eyes. He tried to speak but he choked on the words. Eddie waited for him to collect himself enough to speak.

“Bill doesn’t want to go to Prom with me.”

“What?” Of all the things he had been expecting that was not it.

“He doesn’t want me.”

“Stan –”

“He broke up with me on Friday.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“I guess that’s not quite accurate. He ended our deal.” Stan would have looked faintly amused if it didn’t look like he was trying not to cry.

“What do you mean, deal?”

“It was all fake, Eddie.”

“What was?”

“Our relationship. We faked it so that you and Richie would feel safer getting together.”

“What?”

“It was Bill’s idea. I didn’t want to at first, but after… after you got attacked I knew I had to do something. To stand up for something. So I agreed. We were planning on keeping up the pretense until after Prom, but I fucked it all up.”

This was a lot to take in, so Eddie gestured that Stan pause for a moment. There was plenty to address before Stan’s supposed fuck up, whatever that meant. Eddie thought back to when Stan had first admitted he was dating Bill. “What about the night at the quarry?”

“What about it?”

“You were curled up on him like a fucking cat.”

“It was an act.”

“Stan you’re not very comfortable with being touched.”

“It was what needed to be done.”

“And the hickey?”

Stan blushed. “Also fake.”

“How do you fake a fucking hickey?” Eddie asked.

“I suppose it was a real hickey, but without the passion.” Stan sounded so clinical. Eddie couldn’t imagine doing something so intimate and personal and having it mean nothing. He grasped at his inhaler.

“When Bill fought Patrick that first time, was that real?”

“Of course.” Stan bristled as if Eddie was implying that he would have asked Bill to get hurt on his behalf.

“And at Vic’s party?”

“What about it?”

“You were grinding up against him.”

“I was drunk,” Stan’s voice was small. It was like he didn’t know what he had been doing.

Eddie looked at his friend, taking in the slouch of his shoulders, the curled fists and bowed head. There was something Stan hadn’t admitted yet, something on the tip of his tongue. And suddenly Eddie wondered if it wasn’t so fake as Stan was suggesting. He moved to Stan’s side and took his hand. Stan looked him in the eye. His eyes were so big and wet, so close to tears.

“You called him Ender. The other day.”

“Yeah?”

“You loved Ender. Since we were little.”

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew. You’re my best friend. You’ve been carrying that book around with you for the past two weeks. What gives?”

Stan shrugged, looking even more miserable.

“Stan, did the others know about this being fake?” Eddie was going to feel like a massive dick if he was the only one who hadn’t known that Bill and Stan had been faking.

Stan shook his head. “No one knew.”

Eddie couldn’t help as the relief surged through him. “Okay. I think I get it. But what did you mean you fucked up?”

Stan let out a moue of displeasure. It looked like he wasn’t ready to admit whatever it was.

“Stan, c’mon talk to me.”

“He doesn’t want me.”

Eddie thought that was profoundly untrue. He had seen how Bill watched Stan, like he never wanted to be too far away from the other boy. He heard how he talked about the other boy when he wasn’t around. Hell, even Richie had picked up on it, and he was about oblivious as possible when it came to this sort of thing. Although from what Eddie had heard Bill hadn’t exactly been subtle when talking with Richie. So when Stan said that Bill didn’t want him, Eddie knew that couldn’t be everything.

“Stan, did he say he doesn’t want you?”

Stan nodded.

“Really?”

“He broke up with me.”

“But you said this was all fake. So maybe the break up was fake, and he still likes you. Did he give you a reason?”

“He broke up with me because I fell in love with him.” Stan lost any of the little composure he had gained.

“Oh, Stanley.” Eddie’s heart sunk. Maybe Bill was a better actor than he had thought.

Stan buried his head into Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie began carding through Stan’s curls as he held him. After a few minutes Eddie nudged him.

“Hey. You told him you fell in love with him?”

Stan shook his head, biting his lip. “He knew.”

“He knew?”

Stan nodded, looking on the verge of one of his infamous mental spirals. Eddie needed to keep his focus, get him as grounded as possible.

“Hey, hey.” Eddie caught Stan’s chin, forcing the other boy to look at him. “If you didn’t tell him how do you know he knows?”

“He said that we are breaking up because my feelings towards him changed. He said we’d done too much damage already, and it would be easier to just not go to Prom together. Save us the trouble.”

Eddie frowned.

Stan continued. “I know most of Derry is homophobic but I didn’t expect it from him.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Bill isn’t homophobic.”

“But he doesn’t want to fake dating me now that I’m in love with him.”

“I think you need to talk to him.”

Stan shook his head, clearly the idea was too embarrassing to even be considered.

“Stan, I don’t think you have the full picture. I think you need to talk to Bill. That’s the only way this is going to be cleared up.”

“Cleared up? There’s nothing to be cleared up. I fell in love with a straight boy, and he doesn’t want me back.”

“For god’s sake, Stan. He’s bisexual.”

“He told you that as part of our act.”

“I don’t think he was acting. I think he stopped acting a long time ago. In fact I don’t know that he was ever acting. I think he liked you since he met you at Mike’s party.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Stan, I know you can’t go to Prom like we all hoped but we’re all going to visit Bill before Prom and I think you should come with us. And I think you should stay and talk to him. Even if there are no feelings on his side you can’t just hide from your emotions.”

“I’m not hiding.”

“Stan. You are one of the bravest people I know, but you might be the most emotionally constipated person I’ve ever met. You made so much progress in this relationship, whether fake or not. I hate to see you backslide.”

Stan didn’t meet Eddie’s eye.

“Promise me you’ll think about talking to Bill. Please?”

Almost imperceptibly, Stan nodded. Eddie bit back a sigh. Progress isn’t always a linear path, and he knew Stan was doing his best.

“You want to watch a movie?” Eddie asked.

“I better head home. My mom is making dinner.”

“Okay.”

Stan stood to go. At the door he turned back. “Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being so cool about all this.”

“Sure. And I’ll keep what you said between us until you’re ready for the others to know.”

Stan smiled, shoulders dropping in relief. “Good luck keeping this from Richie.”

“I keep things from Richie!”

“Yeah right.” Stan said, a glimmer of his old self shining through. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you, Stan.”

Eddie watched him go. He wondered if Stan and Bill were going to talk. He hoped so. He didn’t think he was wrong about Bill, and he hated to see Stan in pain. He looked over at his suit for Saturday, and couldn’t help but feel a thrill of excitement. He was glad that despite all the complications and machinations he and Richie had gotten together alright. He just hoped that Stan would be able to have the same. God, he hoped he wasn’t wrong about Bill.

–

Ultimately, Beverly made the decision for Stan. It was the next day during homeroom when she insisted that Stan and Bill be included for pictures even if they weren’t going to Prom.

“You’re our best friends. We can’t have photos of the rest of the Losers Club without you two,” Beverly said.

“Mike’s not going.” Stan pouted.

“He is too. Eva asked him.”

“I thought she was gay,” Eddie said.

“She is, but she thinks Mike is cool and when it looked like the rest of us were going I didn’t want him to be left out. She was more than happy to ask him,” Beverly said.

“I don’t know, Bev.” Stan said returning to the issue at hand.

“Stan, don’t be ridiculous. We’re friends, we want you there even if you aren’t going.”

“Bev, relax.” Eddie said.

Stan shot him a grateful look. Ever since admitting the truth to Eddie he had felt a little better. Even so he was not in the mood to have to be anywhere near Bill.

“I will not relax, Eddie. Stan is being ridiculous.”

“Maybe he’s upset that he and Bill aren’t coming with us. Maybe taking pictures with all of us is too painful,” Eddie said.

Stan’s gratitude dried up. There was no way Beverly was going to believe that he was some sensitive little flower that needed protecting. Absolutely not – 

“Oh Stan,” her eyes went all soft. She pulled him into a hug. Eddie shot him a thumbs up behind her back. When she pulled away she cupped his chin forcing him to look at her. “Was I being insensitive? Are you upset that you and Bill aren’t coming with us?”

“That’s not it at all,” Stan shoved her off him. Fuck, Eddie and his big mouth.

“Well if that’s not it, why don’t you want to come?”

“Can Bill even leave his house? Aren’t his parents kinda keeping him under house arrest?”

Ever since Stan’s outburst in the hospital the Denbroughs had started keeping closer tabs on Bill. Stan wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not as his only source for the information was Richie. Even Richie wasn’t sure if things were okay or not. The Denbroughs’ house had become something of a Fort Knox. Even Georgie was radio silent. Stan didn’t know if this imposed lockdown was to keep Bill safe or to keep him out of fights. He hoped for the former, but that didn’t mean much with what he knew about Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough.

“I’m sure he can have one night off.” Beverly said.

“He shouldn’t even be driving,” Stan said.

Beverly looked over to Eddie for confirmation. 

“He’s right. Moderate concussions take 7-10 days to heal –”

Beverly groaned. “Fine. If I figure out a way for Bill to be there, will you please come for pictures? Please, Stan? It wouldn’t feel right without you guys.”

Stan looked over to Eddie and then back to Bev. He could never say no to her, not really. And pretending for an hour was going to be easier than any other lies he would have to tell in order to get out of it. He sighed. “Yes. Fine.”

“Yay! Thank you, Stan!” She hugged him, only this time it wasn’t out of some misplaced pity. This time it was all enthusiasm and warmth. This time it was all Beverly.

Stan relaxed into her hug, ignoring the significant look Eddie was trying to give him. He could only pray that the Denbroughs held their ground this time and didn’t let Bill out.

–

Once again Stan was in for a disappointment when it came to the Denbroughs. Stan didn’t know how Beverly did it, but she was able to get Bill’s parents to agree to him coming over to Ben’s house to take some pictures with the group. She announced as much during homeroom on Friday. When Stan found out what she had done he was shocked.

“How did you manage that?” Eddie asked.

Beverly smiled. “I have my ways.”

“Jesus, Bev. You’re kinda scary sometimes,” Eddie said.

She laughed. “I know. You boys wouldn’t last a day without me.”

Stan didn’t want to admit that she was right, especially not now when he was kinda mad at her… no not her… Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough. For once he had thought he had them read.

“Stan?” Bev asked.

“Huh?”

“What were you thinking about?” she asked.

“Oh, um… I don’t have a tux. I uh… never got one because of everything that happened so, I don’t know what I’m going to wear.”

Beverly laughed. “The world’s tiniest adult doesn’t have a nice suit to wear for one night?”

Stan blushed.

“What’re we talking about?” Richie asked dropping into his seat, late as usual.

“Stan doesn’t have something to wear for pictures,” Eddie said.

Richie laughed. “Stan you were wearing suits as a child. You must have something. What about your suit from your bar mitzvah?”

“One I was thirteen when I last wore that suit, and two its a pastel blue suit that looks like it belongs in the 80s.”

“So that’s a no.”

“Stan, you must have something,” Beverly said. “Even Bill has something.”

“You talked to him?” Stan asked, hating his heart for betraying him by leaping.

“Well no, but Sharon implied that he would come dressed for the occasion.”

“Sharon?”

“His mother.”

“I know that, but why the fuck did you call her Sharon?”

“She said I could.”

Stan thought he had heard it all, but this this topped the cake. “Jesus Christ.”

“What is it?” Beverly looked amused.

“God, Stan. Not everything is a conniption,” Richie laughed.

Stan scowled at him.

Eddie took pity on him and changed the subject. “We still headed over to DP for lunch today?”

Beverly, ever one to chase a conversation which may include her boyfriend, brightened immediately. “Of course!”

“I think I’ll stay here,” Stan said.

“Staniel, it’s not as much fun without you.”

“That’s kind of you to say, Richie. But I’m not in the mood for one of your hectic car rides. Last time I thought I was going to throw up.”

“We could leave earlier,” Richie muttered.

“Besides I need to find a book in the library,” Stan said.

“What book?” Eddie asked.

“Something for honors chem,” Stan said.

“What book could you possibly need for that class?” Richie’s lip curled in disgust.

“I’m doing an extra credit project and I need some further research.”

“There are extra credit projects?” Richie asked.

“Um, I asked for this one cause I did so poorly on the test.” Stan prayed that Richie would stop pushing the matter. Thankfully he did.

“Alright, Staniel. I’ll give your regards to Bill.”

“Thanks.” Stan said.

He turned away from them, but could feel the silent conversation they were having behind his back. No doubt they were wondering why he wouldn’t jump at the chance to go see his boyfriend who he hadn’t gotten to see since Tuesday. Stan was tired of all the lies and figured whatever assumptions they could jump to wouldn’t do more harm than the truth.

–

Stan was eating lunch alone in the library. He missed the noise of his friends, but he wasn’t ready to face Bill again. Tuesday had been torture. But even so it had been easy to disappear into the hospital walls. It wouldn’t be so easy at DP. There would be more expectations, and honestly Stan couldn’t deal with that right now. He wondered if the Losers were even going to be a thing after all this. He figured he would still have Beverly and Eddie in his life. And to some extent Richie and Ben. But would he never see Mike, or Bill again? Would the seven of them ever hangout the way they used to. These dark thoughts swirled around one another, ultimately leading nowhere.

“Stan?”

Stan looked up to find Madame Wallace standing above him. She was shifting her weight between her legs like she was unsure of herself. Stan was surprised at it. Usually she was so at ease in front of her students.

“Can I help you?” Stan asked.

“Mrs. Decker told me that you and Beverly eat lunches here.” Her gaze swept over the empty desks.

“Beverly is at Derry Prep for lunch.”

“I see.”

“Is it urgent?”

“Oh no… it’s just. I heard what happened on Monday and I thought you two should hear right away,” Madame Wallace trailed off.

Stan’s brow furrowed. He wasn’t sure he could take anymore bad news this week. “What is it? Has something happened?”

“Oh no nothing like that,” she said easing his fears. “Derry High has accepted Beverly’s proposal. There will be a GSA starting next week.”

“What?” Stan’s mind raced.

“We won, Stan. The school board is completely behind us. Oh _cher_ –”

Stan had begun to cry. He wasn’t sure why but the pure relief of it all… of something going right… was just too much for him to handle.

Madame Wallace pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you.”

“You shouldn’t thank me. It was all you kids.” She smiled down on him. “Now I know everyone’s main concern is Prom. But I want you and Bev to get back to me about making some posters and getting other students involved. Alright?”

Stan nodded wiping the tears from his face. “Yeah. I think we can handle that.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you two in class.”

Stan watched her go and felt that maybe between Svetlana and Emily Wallace there were good people in Derry after all.

He pulled out his phone, this was the sort of news that couldn’t wait. He dialed Beverly and didn’t have to wait long for her to pick up.

“Beverly?”

“Staniel!” Richie’s voice was loud even in the distance.

“You’re on speaker, babe.” Beverly said.

A little late for that, mused Stan, but even so he was smiling. “Madame Wallace just came to find me. She says the school accepted your proposal and starting next week Derry High is going to have its very own GSA.”

The screams were deafening. Everyone was congratulating Beverly. She had earned it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your responses to the last chapter, I loved reading them. We're getting so close to the end, and I cannot express how excited I am to share it with you all. I am almost done writing, and tbh I'm not ready to leave this world I've created with you all. Thank you for your support. The next chapter will be up soon, until then please keep on leaving comments!  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	18. Chapter 18

Stan was woken up early on Saturday morning by his mom knocking on his door.

“Honey, I made coffee. Can I come in?”

“Sure, Mom.”

She came in, still in her robe, with a cup of coffee in her hand. She placed the mug on Stan’s bedside table and sat on the edge of his bed.

“So are we going to talk about this?”

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever is bothering you?”

“Nothing is bothering me,” Stan said moving to take a sip of his coffee.

“I know you were upset the night before Bill’s fight. And ever since then things have been off. You know I won’t judge you, but I can’t watch you hurting yourself over this.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“If you’re upset by it then it’s a big deal. I didn’t push you on your sexuality, and I stand by my decision. But I wonder if I had if you would have found peace sooner. That’s all I want for you, Stan. I just want you to know I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to talk. It doesn’t have to be today or even to me, but I think you should talk about it to someone.”

“I already did, but it doesn’t really change things.” Stan scrunched up his nose. He had thought telling Eddie would have resolved all the guilt and anxiety that was building in his chest. While it did help a little, he still wasn’t satisfied.

“Maybe it wasn’t the right person. Maybe they couldn’t offer you the clarity you needed.”

Stan looked at her, watched as she rose from his bed and padded across the floor. She got all the way to the door before he called out to her.

“How do you know who the right person to talk to is?”

Her expression softened. “Oh honey, I think you just know.”

“But how?”

“It’s the person who makes you feel calm. Who grounds you and won’t judge you, but can also offer varying perspectives if needed. And honey?”

“Hm?”

“I think you already know who you need to talk to. I think you’re just scared.”

And with that she shut the door. Stan held onto his coffee, finding solace in the warmth of the mug in his hands. He looked out the window. The sun was already up and birds were calling to one another in the branches of the tree. He figured between his mom and Eddie the universe was pretty clear about who he needed to talk to. He resolved that by the end of the day he would talk to Bill about everything. Fuck that was terrifying.

Stan stretched and moved over to his desk. If he was going to do this he was going to need a battle plan. He had always felt more confident in writing than in speaking as it gave him time to edit and revise. He started by writing out bullet points which in turn became a letter. He wasn’t planning on reading the letter, that would be more humiliating than this situation already was, but it helped to know just exactly what he wanted to say to Bill. Although the knot remained present in his stomach, and probably would be there until this talk, the panic and nausea seemed to have settled. That is until he looked at his phone.

Richie: what are you wearing?

Richie: TONIGHT

Richie: I didn’t mean for it to sound like the start of a bad porno I just meant you were freaked about finding something to wear and I just wanted to check in on that front

Richie: no other reason

Richie: lmk when you have something picked out and what it is

Richie: (try not to look too much like a college professor)

Richie: xoxoxo

Stan rolled his eyes. Richie really was insufferable, but he had a good point. Stan didn’t know what he was going to wear. The nervous energy resumed, and fuck the whole day was going to be like this wasn’t it? He texted Richie the details once he settled on an outfit. He knew his friend was just trying to look out for him, but he sure did have a weird way of showing his concern.

–

Richie picked up Eddie an hour before their dinner reservation so that they could get over to Ben’s for pictures. When he saw Richie in a navy suit with a pale pink shirt, and dumb floral bow tie his heart melted. His hair had been tamed for the evening and Eddie realized just how adorable Richie was. He was in love with him. Had been for a long time too.

He could feel Richie’s eyes on him, tracing the lines of his light gray suit. He tugged at the knot of his tie, pink to match Richie, as he waited for the other boy to say something.

“Fuck, Eds, you look incredible.”

Eddie blushed. “Thanks. So do you.”

Richie laughed.

“Eddie?” Sonia’s voice echoed from somewhere deep inside the house.

Eddie braced himself for whatever she had to say.

“Please have Arlene send me some of the pictures from tonight.”

“Oh!”

“And have fun tonight, okay? But please come back to me safely. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom.” Eddie called out. He felt a little sorry for his mom, and was touched at the effort she was making to give him his space.

He grabbed the boutonniere from where it had been placed on the side table by the door. The plastic box was still cold from the refrigerator. Then he grabbed Richie’s hand and led him outside.

Once they were out of the house the other boy eyed him. “I wasn’t expecting that from your mom. I would have thought she would want to see you off herself.”

“I think she was a little embarrassed. She didn’t want you to see her being clingy.”

And for once Richie didn’t make a mom joke even though the opportunity was ripe for the taking. Eddie loved him all the more for it. Richie led him over to his car. He opened the door for his boyfriend and closed it once Eddie had gotten settled. Eddie reclaimed Richie’s hand once he had gotten in. They drove over to Ben’s, fingers interlocked.

Arlene Hanscom greeted them when they knocked on the door. “Don’t you boys look handsome! Come in, the others are in the living room.”

She ushered them to the other room where Mike, Eva, Ben and Beverly were already waiting.

“Oh my god, Bev! You look amazing!” Eddie said taking his best friend’s hands so he could look at her.

Beverly’s flaming hair was piled on top of her head in an intricate series of braids. Her dress was two pieces, a dark green fitted bodice which exposed a patch of pale skin and a full length pleated skirt. It was simple and elegant. Beverly’s beauty shone through.

“You look great, Eddie.” She beamed at him.

“Ben!” Richie gave the other boy a hug. “You’re practically James Bond in this suit.”

Ben laughed. He was dressed in a classic black suit with a tie that matched Beverly’s dress. “You seem to clean up alright. Except for this bow tie, is that a Hawaiian print?”

“Shut up, Haystack. You’re just jealous.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Ben said.

“And Mikey, look at you!”

Eddie turned his attention to Mike. His suit jacket was a print of dark blue metallic flowers. It was tasteful and attractive. There wasn’t anything gaudy or flashy about it. Mike flushed under the attention as Richie poked at the flowers with his long fingers. Underneath the jacket, Mike had on a white shirt and a black bow tie. The black trousers accentuated his legs making him look even taller than he was and the black buttons of his shirt seemed to wink under the light. 

“Eva, you look lovely.” Eddie didn’t really know Mike’s date, but it seemed rude not to compliment her. Her dress was made of silver silk and seemed to glow in the warm light.

She smiled a charmingly crooked smile and thanked him.

“Now we’re just waiting for Bill and Stan.” Beverly sighed.

Eddie wondered if Bill and Stan would even show up, but his doubts were laid to rest – at least partially.

Bill walked into the living room, and from the foyer Eddie could here Arlene talking to Sharon.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t have to wait in your car. Come in and take some photos!”

“I think I’ll just sit in the kitchen until Bill is ready to leave, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh. Um sure, can I get you anything to drink?” Their voices faded.

The Losers turned to Bill. He looked uncomfortable under their attention, the bruising on his face still looked awful. The sutures above his brow stood out in an angry line. Eddie questioned why Bev would want pictures with him looking like that. However, she was the first to break the tension in the room. Beverly moved over to Bill and pulled him into a gentle hug.

“You look wonderful, Bill. Stan is going to be blown away.”

Bill winced. “S-stan is g-g-going to wish his date didn’t l-look like he just had g-g-gone through the w-w-wringer.”

“Ouch, Big Bill. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Richie said.

“Be h-h-honest. I look like d-d-death warmed over.”

“I don’t think that’s fair to dead people,” Richie said.

Bill cracked a smile and things felt normal again.

–

Outside the Hanscoms’, Stan was sitting in his mom’s car. Unconsciously he dug his nails into the soft skin of his palms. He chewed at his lip.

“Honey, are you sure you don’t want me to wait?” His mom asked.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

“I’m more than happy to.”

Stan wanted to talk to Bill when this was all said and done and there was no telling how long that was going to take. “I’ll walk home after. It’s okay.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.”

“I might be home late. I um… I have to have a talk with someone.”

Andrea smiled. “That’s alright, love. Take as much time as you need.”

Stan looked at his mom grateful for her trust. “I’m scared.”

“That’s okay. Just know that there’s a room full of people in there that love you and want you to be there. It’ll be alright.”

Stan nodded and forced himself to go to the front door. He was greeted by Arlene, who was so warm and kind that it just made sense that Ben was her son. She led him into the living room where the others had gathered. Stan looked at his friends and was in awe of how stunning they were.

He felt a little out of place in the suit he had worn to a cousin’s wedding. It a little too tight in the shoulders, the sleeves didn’t quite cover his wrists and the pants were ridiculously tight. At least the charcoal gray was a timeless color. He had paired it with a blue shirt and a solid sapphire tie. He tugged nervously as his tie waiting to be noticed. Richie saw him first.

“Staniel!”

But before he could respond he saw Bill standing in the corner. His heart faltered. Bill was wearing a dark suit with a blue tie. The matching color was uncanny.

“Is this why you wanted to know what I was wearing?” Stan asked Richie.

“He wanted to match you.” Richie shrugged. “Don’t know why he felt the need to go through me. He could have just asked you like a normal boyfriend.”

Stan’s heart clenched painfully. However, Bill just rolled his eyes with a playful smirk. “Forgive m-me for wanting to surprise my b-b-boyfriend.”

“Gross.” But Richie was laughing all the same.

“Now that everyone’s here, pictures!!” Beverly said, pulling Stan into the crowd.

Arlene had the couples pull out their boutonnieres and corsages one by one so that she could have pictures of everyone pinning the flowers to jackets or slipping them around wrists. By the time she got to Bill and Stan she looked at them expectantly.

“Oh, I um… we’re not,” Stan struggled over his words.

Bill laughed softly at him rolling his eyes. “Of c-c-course we are.”

Bill went to an end table and pulled out a plastic box which held white boutonniere he had brought.

“I didn’t get you one.” Panic and shame welled up in Stan. He couldn’t take his eyes off the damn rose.

“Staniel, you’re adorable. You had to know we’d have you covered.” Richie moved away from Eddie’s side.

Stan whipped his head to the other boy to see another box containing a white rose boutonniere in it. Richie held it out to him.

“Why did you buy this?”

“Bill thought that it would be cute if you two had a picture with them. He didn’t want to leave you unprepared,” Richie said.

Stan glanced back at Bill.

“Only if you w-w-want.”

“I want to.”

With trembling fingers Stan took the box from Richie. He opened it and pulled out the flowers careful not to crush the baby’s breath. He walked towards Bill, forcing himself to relax. Bill looked just as nervous. The could feel their friends watching them. Arlene moved to get Bill’s non-bruised side. Even so it felt like they were in their own bubble, just the two of them.

“Do you know how to do this?” Stan asked rolling the pin between his fingers.

“N-n-not a clue.”

Stan let out a little laugh. “Well let me know if I stab you.”

“Can’t be much w-w-worse than what’s already h-happened.”

Stan rolled his eyes. He placed the boutonniere on the lapel of Bill’s jacket and stuck the pin in the back. He thought that it couldn’t get more nervewracking than this. Of course he was wrong. Feeling Bill’s fingers lightly tugging at his coat was heavenly. It was stupid how just being this close to him was bringing back all the adoration and hurt and shame that had been there before. Stan was overwhelmed, yet he craved everything Bill had to offer.

Stan looked up at Bill through his lashes. Bill shuddered before sticking the pin in place. Distantly they could hear their friends cheer. They were pulled a part to do a series of group photos which went by in a blur.

Beverly insisted in taking the classic prom pose and for an instant Stan could feel Bill’s arm’s wrapped around his waist. His touch was careful. It took everything in Stan to rest his own hands on Bill’s. He was sure Bill could tell how quickly his heart was beating, he could probably feel how sweaty Stan’s palms were too. Would this nightmare ever end?

Finally Arlene seemed satisfied with all the photos. Only Beverly said, “wait. Just one more. Of all the Losers.”

“Bev we’re going to be late for our dinner reservation,” Eddie said.

“And what about Eva?” Ben asked.

Beverly looked chagrined. “Sorry. Guess that was pretty thoughtless of me.”

“Nah, I get it. You all are best friends. I don’t mind. Hell, I’ll even take it.”

Beverly kissed Eva on the cheek before posing her friends on and around the couch. It was just Stan’s luck that he ended up on Bill’s lap. Again.

“Let me know if I’m crushing you,” Stan said.

Bill laughed. “I w-will.”

Eva took several photos, from several angles. But at last, like all good things, it came to an end. Not soon enough, in Stan’s opinion, but that was alright.

As his friends began collecting their wraps and clutches and other things, Stan approached Bill.

“Hey, can we talk?”

Surprise flickered across Bill’s face, but he had the decency to hide it swiftly. “My m-mom gave me a ride. I’m sure you c-can r-r-ride back with us to m-my house. W-we can talk there if you l-like.”

Shame flared up in Stan as he thought about the last thing he had said to Mrs. Denbrough, but if he wanted to clear the air with Bill it didn’t look like he had any other choice.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Let m-me go check w-w-with her. I’ll b-b-be right back.”

Stan watched him go. He could feel Eddie’s eyes on him, he turned to his friend to find the other boy had seen their whole interaction. Eddie gave Stan a big thumbs up, subtle. Stan shook his head. While he waited for Bill he went to find Mrs. Hanscom to thank her for her generosity.

“Of course, you kids are welcome here any time!” She said.

Bill came to find him moments later. “My m-m-mom’s not exactly happy about you c-c-coming over. She thinks I n-n-need to rest, but I told her it’s i-important. Is it?”

“Huh?”

“Important.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, g-g-good.”

Bill led Stan back to the living room. They said goodbye to their friends before Sharon Denbrough met up with them in the foyer. She eyed Stan distastefully before leading them to her car.

“I want you to know that I don’t approve of what you said the last time we met,” Sharon shot a glance to Stan via the rear view mirror. He felt a chill in his veins. “I understand why you thought you had to say something, but it really isn’t any of your business how I raise my son.”

“M-mom –”

“However, I acknowledge that things have gotten out of hand. Zach and I are striving to do better. I certainly don’t expect you to understand what it has been like, and frankly I think Bill could do better. Someone like that charming Marsh girl.”

“M-m-mom, please just drive.”

“Whatever this talk is better be important. I don’t want you in my house longer than you need to be. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Sharon studied him and seemingly believed him because she started to drive. The ride to the Denbroughs’ was coated in heavy silence. Neither Bill nor his mother spoke. And Sharon’s distaste rolled off her, polluting the small space, suffocating Stan. She didn’t even pity him enough to turn on the radio. The silence was all there was.

When they arrived at the Denbrough home, Bill led Stan up to his room. Again, Stan marveled at the warmth and homeyness of the space. But the calm the room provided didn’t last long.

“You w-w-wanted to talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA GOT YA! You didn't you'd get off that easily did you!? One more cliffhanger. The moment you have been so desperately waiting for will come in the next chapter. I PROMISE. Thank you for all your patience and love up until this point. The next chapter is in your honor, I hope it lives up to all your expectations.  
> Today marks 8 years since I published my first fan fic. I've come a long way, and still have so much to learn. Thanks for joining me along the ride!!  
> Please leave a comment below letting me know how frustrated you are, what you thought, etc. I love hearing from you!!  
> Yrs.  
> TWoW
> 
> PS- in celebration of my anniversary I have also updated Bloody Noses... and wrote a oneshot titled Not Your Mother's Pottery Class. Feel free to check them out. Enjoy!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have been asking for this from the start, and eagerly awaiting its arrival. I hope it lives up to everything you were hoping for. This one is dedicated to you.  
> Always yrs.  
> TWoW

The Losers had gone to dinner at Olive Garden. Richie insisted that in the shithole that was Derry, Maine “The Garden” was the finest Derry had to offer. Unfortunately he wasn’t wrong. Even so, Eddie had had a lot of fun. His sides and cheeks ached from laughing. Richie supplied jokes as endlessly as their waiter brought breadsticks. And instead of beeping him, the others indulged him. Eddie realized that so often it was Bill and Stan who acted as Richie’s brakes, and while he enjoyed the chaotic nature of his friends, they were starting to draw looks from the other patrons. He missed Bill and Stan and hoped everything was alright.

After dinner, they arrived fashionably late to the dance, almost like Beverly had choreographed it all down to the minute. The gym was decorated in swaths of blue chiffon. One whole wall was draped in strings of Christmas lights. More lights were festooned among the chiffon all across the ceiling. There must be thousands of fairy lights. At the center of the floor was a disco ball which flung light across the dancers. It made the students look like they were among stars, floating in and out of the galaxies. Dresses ballooned out as their owners spun, painting the space in vibrant color.

There was a silver mylar curtain hung behind the band. It’s tendrils waved when even the slightest breath of air moved across it. It glittered under the lights, casting shiny reflections across the floor.

A painted backdrop of a night sky had been made by the theatre club. It stood by the front door. There was a pearly moon with even more Christmas lights struck through the drop. A photographer was set up there taking student’s pictures. It was a little cheesy, but Eddie loved it. The whole thing was romantic and silly, but nevertheless he felt lucky to have Richie’s hand in his own.

“I wish Stan could see this,” Eddie said.

Richie gave his hand a squeeze.

“It’s a shame those two are missing their prom,” Eva said.

“Hmm.” Beverly had an unreadable expression on her face.

“What are you thinking?” Ben asked.

“I’m thinking that we enjoy tonight, and tomorrow we start planning a way to give this to Bill and Stan.” A smile curled at the corner of her lips.

The others nodded, smiling their own broad smiles, before moving further into the space. Eddie stayed rooted to the spot.

“Hey, Eds. What are you thinking?”

“Huh?” Eddie was thinking about how depending on how the talk went there might not even be a Bill-and-Stan as a couple anymore. That giving them a prom might just be a painful reminder that they would grin and bear it through out of courtesy. He wondered if they called it quits for real how they would even announce that sort of thing. But that wouldn’t happen. They were Bill and Stan. They made sense together. They fit.

“Eddie?”

“Nothing. Just worrying I guess.”

“You do that too much. Let go a little. Have fun.”

Eddie looked up at his boyfriend and smiled. He pulled Richie onto the dance floor where the rest of their friends were already letting loose.

–

“You w-w-wanted to talk?”

Stan really didn’t want to talk. He’d prefer to be anywhere but here, doing anything but this. But he owed Bill the truth. He owed himself the truth. Even if he only got to say it once.

“Yeah, Bill. I have something to say, and I need you to listen to me and hear me out. Once I’m done you can kick me out or say whatever you want, but I have to get through this first. Okay?”

Bill’s expression darkened but he didn’t say anything. Stan figured this was as good as he was going to get.

“When you offered to pretend to date I hated you for it.”

Bill winced a little.

“I hated that love was so casual to you, that it was something you could play with as if no one was going to get burned. I hated how thoughtless and inconsiderate you were to ask someone who had never gotten to experience the thrills of love to simulate it with a stranger. And you made it clear that you would have preferred anyone else, but I was the best you could do on such short notice. You even offered to pay me, like a cheap prostitute, and that made things ten times worse. I didn’t want to help you. But then Eddie got hurt and everything changed. I agreed to your plan for him. Only for him.

We started to become friends. Our friends became friends and we became this big group. I’ve never been part of something like that before. It was nice. And I started to wonder what would happen after we were done with the pretending. Would we still be friends? At first I didn’t think so, but then as our friend groups merged I thought we had to be friends after this – there was no way we couldn’t all be in each others lives. But then I realized something else. I realized that after the fake break up we were never going to be friends.” 

Stan’s throat started to close. He was getting closer to the truth and it terrified him. He fidgeted under Bill’s gaze, but he knew the other boy was waiting for him to continue.

“I knew we could never be friends because it would hurt too much. More specifically it would hurt me, and if there is one thing in this world that I’m terrified of its getting hurt. I’ll do anything to avoid it, even if it means hurting myself. Because somewhere along the way I fell in love with you, and I can’t bear to have you in my life as just friends.”

He wasn’t looking at Bill. Instead he studied the hardwood floor under his feet. He could still sense the other boy’s shocked expression, heard the exhalation of air, but he still couldn’t bring himself to look. If Bill looked disgusted right now it would kill him. “So now you know the truth, and we can say goodbye to each other and this lie for good.”

“I don’t w-want to say g-goodbye for g-good.” Bill’s voice had a breathlessness that made emotion hard to place. Stan lifted his head to study him.

“What do you mean?”

“Stan, I d-don’t w-want to be your friend.”

Stan’s pulse quickened. A spark of excitement and hope burned in the pit of his stomach. Bill was making it sound like he had feelings for Stan, but that was – Stan didn’t dare to hope that that was – it was too much. Too much to hope – 

“I am in love w-w-with you.”

Stan sunk to his knees refusing to believe it without an explanation. Bill looked distressed seeing Stan on the ground and moved to help him up. Stan shook his head at the help and said in a hoarse voice, “explain. Please?”

Bill rubbed the back of his neck. “I g-guess I’ll go b-b-back to the start. W-when I first saw you at Mike’s party I was p-pretty high. I was flirting a little with E-eddie, mostly to embarrass Richie, b-b-but I had to admit it was fun. It g-g-got me in the mood.” Bill blushed. “And then you arrived. You know you looked like a f-f-fucking angel, all righteous fury, and there was this sort of g-g-glow around your head. It was probably just Mike’s porch light, but it made it look like you had a halo, and fuck, Stan, I knew then that I was -a-a-a-attracted to you. After you left I asked Richie f-f-for your name and he laughed at me. He said t-t-that I must have smoked too much, but I think he saw that I had this look on my f-f-face and he took pity on me. He t-told me about you. And that’s w-w-when I knew I wanted to get to know you for myself.

After that R-r-richie wouldn’t stop talking a-a-about Eddie. Reminiscing about w-w-when you guys were kids and all that shit. He w-wanted to talk to him after b-ballet so we rode down there to wait. And of course you showed up and told R-r-richie off. I liked seeing that side of you. You were m-m-mouthy and bossy, and you stood up for your f-f-friends. Richie was kind of a m-m-mess after that. I devised m-my plan then. I thought m-maybe if I started d-dating a boy it would be safer for them. But as I considered my options there was no one I knew who could keep the secret or stand up against the bullying. At least n-n-not then. You b-b-became my only option, and I didn’t w-want to put you in that position. I didn’t want to pretend to d-d-d-date you. I w-w-wanted it to be r-r-real. Besides I didn’t want you to g-g-get hurt. I was determined to f-find someone else. I thought I could.

The lacrosse game was f-f-fate. I didn’t know that Bev was dating a DP boy, and I certainly didn’t expect B-ben to invite you all to a game. I was aware of you when you g-g-guys arrived. I wasn’t trying to spy or a-anything I just couldn’t help but be hyper-aware of you. I think G-g-georgie noticed because he kept asking what was so important about you. It d-d-didn’t take long for him to figure out you w-w-were the b-b-boy from the party. I t-t-thought you being there was a sign from the universe. I t-thought it was telling me you were meant to be a part of m-my life. And because I hadn’t been able to think of a-a-anyone else to go along with this plan I thought it m-might be the universe saying that you were the -rright one for that too. So when I saw you walking around d-during halftime I went up to talk to you. God, I w-w-was so intimidated. I thought for sure you’d say no, tell me to f-f-fuck off, but you didn’t. You were w-willing to hear me out. Waiting for you to show up at A-a-al’s was torture. I thought you would skip out on m-me. You had no reason to come other than to satisfy your own c-c-curiosity. Georgie must have t-t-told me a hundred times to calm d-d-down, but I couldn’t. I wanted you to come so badly, I wanted you to say y-yes. When you came it wasn’t h-how I imagined. You were brusque, b-b-business-like. I tried so hard to convince you to say y-yes, but when you didn’t I thought that was going to be the e-end of it.”

“How do you remember all this?” Stan asked. What he really wanted to ask was how can I believe you?

“I keep a j-journal. I write about everything that happens to me in any given day. Reading through it helps m-me remember.” Bill’s cheeks were tinged pink, as if admitting he had a journal was the most embarrassing thing to come out of this conversation. It was endearing.

“Okay.”

“Okay. D-do you want m-m-me to go on?”

Stan nodded unable to find the words to express just how much he wanted Bill to keep talking.

“Alright then. You c-c-called me the next day, and while I was terrified by the tone of your voice I was also excited to see you. I was so mad at G-g-georgie’s coach for keeping him late. I was scared that you wouldn’t w-w-wait, but you did. Of course you did.

When you laid out your g-g-ground rules I was afraid that you thought I w-w-was going to try and take advantage of you or that I wasn’t willing to do what needed to be done. I should have realized you were only trying to protect y-y-yourself. You didn’t want me to kiss you, which I understood. But, Christ, S-Stan, you don’t know how h-h-hard it was for me to keep my end of the promise especially as I got to know y-you.

You asked me then if I was g-g-gay. I told you I wasn’t. I had flirted with b=boys before, but you were the first one I wanted to d-date. You were the first one who had me searching for a d-d-definition for my sexuality. When I told E-eddie I was b-b-bi, it was the first time I admitted it to anyone and to m-m-myself. He surprised m-me so I said the first thing I could think of… but later I realized it was true.

But I guess I’m g-getting ahead of m-m-myself. I was so embarrassed when you met Georgie. I had been talking about you with him since I met you. I was afraid that he was going to spill some of the more e-e-embarrassing things I had said. But that d-day by the q-q-quarry was the most honest we had been with one another up until that point. I was f-f-fascinated by you. I wanted to get to know m-more of you.

T-t-touching you then was torture. I was a-afraid that you would read how m-much I liked you or that I would do something stupidly i-impulsive and try to kiss you. The night of the b-b-bonfire I didn’t know what to do with m-myself. I was jealous of the attention you were giving M-mike, and when you curled up on my l-lap I thought I was going to d-die. And in Ben’s b-b-bathroom? God, I was so into you, and hearing you m-m-m-moan like that was… it was sinful. But I don’t want you to think that I was trying to take a-a-advantage of you… it really was the only thing I could think of in the m-moment.” Bill looked at Stan shyly.

“I didn’t think you were trying to take advantage.” Stan meant it.

Bill nodded before continuing on. “I w-w-wondered if it was all lust and attraction, but then I saw how well you fit into my life. Watching you listen attentively to G-georgie talk about lacrosse for g-godsake even though you have no interest in it. Or w-w-when you helped him with his schoolwork. He loves that b=b=book so much now, because of you. You even faced a Denbrough Family D-dinner and showed no fear. It was like you were always supposed to be there. By my side. I felt safer with you there.

And then P-patrick came after you and I’ve never w-wanted to kill someone so badly before. It terrified me. Just the thought of l-losing you. W-what I said at the quarry a-after you b-bandaged m-m up I meant it. I don’t regret fighting them in the Ukrainian C-club parking lot. I would do it again if it m-meant that you were safe.

B-but even with all that going on Richie and E-e-eddie finally got together. And I got to tease you in front of B-bev and Ben. That night I had a lot of f-fun. It felt real between us, the chemistry… saying goodnight to you felt like saying goodnight after a real date. All that was missing was a k-kiss. I thought then that maybe you m-m-might like me back. Maybe we could be s-something. That’s why I offered to teach you to skateboard and to come with me to V-vic’s. I was so fucking h-h-happy that night. Georgie laughed at me, telling me we’d been g-g-going out for weeks and the h-honeymoon phase should have worn off by now. But for the first time I felt like we were making progress.

You surprised m-m-me at the skatepark. You a-always surprise me, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so d-daring. It w-w-was hot. I liked seeing you w-w-wrapped up in pads – you were a-adorable. And you were a natural on my b-b-board. Even R-r-richie wasn’t that good when he started out. It felt like a f-f-first date. I was n-nervous around you and I w-wanted to impress you so b-b-b-badly.

I thought things were going w-w-well… at Vic’s party you… uh I don’t know how m-much you remember. Y-you were pretty drunk. You said these t-things to me that… and I thought you w-were into me, but you seemed so convinced that you weren’t enough. But y-you were all that I need. I wanted to show you how much you meant to me. I would have told you everything then and there if I had thought you would remember the next d-d-day. And later y-you were dancing against m-me, and I’m sure if you had been sober you w-wouldn’t have, but G-g-god, Stan. How could you not realize w-w-what you were doing to me?

I tried to talk to G-georgie about it, but of course I couldn’t explain how I was f-feeling, not without telling him the truth. He thought I was just being i-insecure. And maybe I was, but not for the reasons he thought. You know, I liked seeing y-you in my clothes. Some small p-p-possessive part of me was pleased, like it meant you were m-m-mine. I know that’s so d-d-dumb, but I couldn’t help it.

Then you brought up our b-breakup and I started to panic. I knew it was logical to d-discuss but I wasn’t ready to start talking about it. E-even if it was all pretend I didn’t want you to reject m-me. I couldn’t handle the thought of us not being together. And then you told me you didn’t w-want to be friends and I lost it. All that d-d-doubt came flooding back, and I w-w-wondered if we had ever been friends. A small part of me w-wanted to believe that y-you were into me, but it was getting h-harder and harder to believe. But I wanted it to be true so b-b-badly, so I was about to confess the truth that I had f-f-fallen for you.”

“What?” Stan asked.

“I thought y-y-you knew.”

“When?” Desperation and horror made his voice thick.

“Right before you said D-d-darling. I thought you knew what I was g-g-going to say and you didn’t want me to say it. I thought you h-hated me.”

Stan’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“I didn’t know.”

“I k-k-know that now,” Bill had the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Can you keep telling me your side, p=please?” Stan wasn’t sure why he wanted to hear the rest, but part of him felt that he needed to know what Bill had gone through.

“Sure… After that I w-w-wanted to put as much distance between us as I could. I was h-h-hurt and embarrassed. I only picked you up so that B-beverly and Richie wouldn’t suspect anything. I was shocked that you c-came to me after your parents’ fight. All my a-a-anger drained away. You were hurt and I needed to make you feel b-better. And even though I w-was still upset some traitorous part of myself was happy to be there for y-you. That I was the one you chose to turn to. Not E-eddie or Beverly, but me.

And then you brought up that d-d-damn breakup again. I agreed to go along with your plan, b-b-but I wanted to chose when we ended it. I needed to be able to c-control something, and even then I think I knew that I could never go to P-prom with you as just friends. I wanted to go as your b-b-boyfriend or not at all. And you saying you still w-w-wouldn’t be friends with me, even after all that… it stung.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Stan looked away from Bill.

Bill settled on the ground next to him and gently moved Stan’s head so that he was looking at him. “I know that n-now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate that, Stan, and I f-f-forgive you.”

Stan took Bill’s hand in his own. “I interrupted you. Will you continue?”

“Sure. You know, I’m never going to f-f-forget watching you d-dance. You were incredible, Stan. Seeing you do something you were so p-p-passionate about, and doing it so beautifully was a-a-aweinspiring. It made me like you e-even more. And having dinner with your m-mom was nice. She’s a lot like you. And it was g-g-good to have a normal family d-d-dinner for once… even if I was a little w-w-worried about making a good i-impression. 

It made me w-want it all to be real so badly. I think I vented to R-richie afterwards about how much I wanted to tell you that I loved y-y-you and he laughed and said that just because we were in high school didn’t mean I couldn’t use the L w-w-word seeing as we were d-dating, and that I shouldn’t be such a p-p-prude about it. I figured then that if we were going to b-break up I should try and help m-myself out and start getting used to not having y-you in my life.

But that was h-hard, because our friends expected to see us together. Like when B-beverly asked Ben to the dance. I thought the things you said were just you laying it on t-thick, covering for my obvious d-d-discomfort. But by the time the lacrosse g-g-game came I had made up my mind to end it, d-damn what our friends thought.

So the next day I c-c-alled it. I believed that you truly m-m-must hate me if you couldn’t stand to even be friends. I couldn’t imagine f-f-forcing us to both endure Prom like that, with me p-p-pining for you and you having to act like you were having f-fun. I thought it would be better to cut ties.

Luckily that w-w-weekend everyone was preoccupied with the Beverly’s proposal so no one really noticed how off I was. It was like I was g-g-going through f-fucking w-w-withdrawal. Like I had become addicted to you. R-richie might have noticed, b-but all he did was make a d-d-d-dumb joke about how we must be arguing about what color to wear to P-prom, so maybe he didn’t really suspect anything… I d-don’t know.

And then R-richie called me and said that he was w-w-worried Patrick might try something and that I should be ready to pick you up early. And even though I was m-mad and didn’t want to see you I remembered my promise. I couldn’t let anything h-happen to you, even if we weren’t friends. So I drove over to the Ukrainian Club, and just like R-rich predicted I saw B-b-bowers and the others waiting around. I went up to tell them off and then Henry and B-belch jumped me. P-patrick took his time, but then he pulled out a f-f-fucking gun. He said some vile t-things. And through it all I w-was angry. I am so sick of the h-h-hatred in this world. The lack of human d-d-decency. No one deserves that kind of treatment because of their sexual orientation or their skin color. It’s d-d-disgusting.

Thank g-g-god for Svetlana. I think they would have killed me if it weren’t for her.

Everything at the hospital is h-hazy. I remember comforting G-georgie and telling Richie that it wasn’t his fault. And I know you w-w-were there, but I don’t remember what you said. I just remember feeling safe with you, and then d-d-drifting out again… I woke up when my parents came in. They were rattled, and for the first time in a long time they didn’t seem upset with me. They didn’t really look at me, m-more through m-me, but they weren’t blaming m-me either. It was strange.

I was in and out most of T-tuesday, but I remembered when you all came to v-visit. It was nice. Normal. Only you w-w-weren’t talking to me, which I guessed was going to be our n-new normal. Just something I would have to get used to. And I g-g-guessed that was going to be alright some day.

My p-p-parents were actually concerned when I was released into their custody. I think they were w-w-worried about what the d-doctors might think because they started imposing all these rules to help me get better. They don’t want me leaving the house until my c-concussion clears up. And D-d-dad is even lobbying for H-h-hockstetter to go away for attempted m-m-manslaughter. Georgie said that he’s heard them discuss c-counseling. And Mom has stopped d-d-drinking completely. I’m not sure what brought about the changes… G-g-georgie said I should ask you?”

Stan blushed. “I might have told them off in the hospital.”

Bill smiled. “Of course you d-did. Things are a long way from better, but I think we’re heading in that direction. I was surprised that B-beverly even convinced my mom to let me take photos with you guys. But Beverly has always been p-p-persuasive. I thought this was going to be our last act as a couple, so I asked R-richie to coordinate with you, because I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me. I wanted it to look g-g-good though, for the others if not for our sake. 

And that’s it. N-n-now you know everything. I know there’s n-no reason to b-believe me, but I hope you do. I want you to m-m-more than anything. I want to be with y-you, Stan. For real.”

“I believe you.”

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I kiss y-y-you?”

Stan nodded not trusting himself to speak. Bill leaned into his space and pressed his lips against Stan’s. It didn't matter to Stan that Bill’s lips were dry and chapped. It didn't matter that it wasn't the best first kiss in the world. What mattered was how they got here. What mattered was how Bill’s hands felt pulling him closer. Even though Stan was practically in Bill’s lap at this point he needed to be closer. Warmth sparked in his belly as he opened his mouth to Bill’s tongue. He let out a soft moan as his fingers moved to tug at Bill’s hair.

Bill groaned, before breaking their kiss. He ducked back in and began kissing along Stan’s jaw and throat.

Stan couldn’t believe how good this felt. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so loved. Bill began sucking on Stan’s neck giving him a hickey. A real one.

Stan murmured soft encouragement as Bill nipped at his neck. He marveled at Bill’s abilities to make him feel this way. God, he was so in love.

Bill pulled away. His eyes were dark. His lips utterly wrecked.

Stan moved off his lap, suddenly feeling embarrassed at just how close they had been. Half in a trance he went over to Bill’s mirror to look at what Bill had done. The hickey was still shiny, a dark mark on Stan’s pale throat. It was too high to hide, Stan wondered if Bill had done this on purpose. Marked him so that everyone would know that he was Bill’s. He couldn’t hide it or deny it even if he had wanted to.

“C-can I ask you something?”

Stan nodded, turning to find that Bill had moved to sit on his bed. He went over to join him.

“W-when did you realize you h-had feelings for me?”

“After Vic’s party, when we were all in the clubhouse for the first time,” Stan said.

Bill groaned. “W-we could have been doing this so much sooner.”

Stan laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. Guess we’ll have to make up for lost time.”

He pulled Bill into another kiss.

– 

Later, as they were lying on Bill’s bed, Stan’s clothes were more rumpled than he was used to. He mused that this might be his new normal, and was surprised to find how alright he was with the idea. He turned to look at Bill’s profile, admiring the little upturn to his nose and the redness of his lips.

“So do we tell our friends the truth?”

Bill buried his head into Stan’s shoulder letting out a groan. “It’s j-just so embarrassing that it took us this l-long to get our shit t-together.”

“I know, but Eddie already knows.”

Bill let out another strangled sound. “Oh G-g-god. Richie is going to make so much fun of m-m-me.”

“Us,” Stan nudged him.

“No j-j-just me. He likes you, Stan. He’s g-g-going to call me a d-d-dumbass.”

“Yeah, he probably will. But to be fair, you were a dumbass.”

Bill pouted at him. “That’s not f-fair. You’re my b-b-boyfriend. You’re supposed to have my b-b-back.”

“So you want to be boyfriends?”

“I thought I m-made that abundantly clear w-w-with everything I said.”

Stan smirked. “Yeah but it’s still nice to hear you say it.”

“Alright,” Bill moved so he was facing Stan. “Stanley U-uris will you be my b-b-boyfriend? For real this t-t-time.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Bill let out a quick laugh before pulling Stan into another kiss. Bill slipped his hand under the hem of Stan’s shirt. His fingers traced light patterns into Stan’s skin. Stan shivered. He pulled Bill closer to him, extinguishing what little space had been left between them. Bill moved his hands back to Stan’s curls. He was whimpering at this point, unraveling under Bill’s attentions. Bill chased each moan, swallowing them down like candy. If Stan had known this would be the outcome he would have talked to Bill much sooner. They only broke apart when the need for air became too great.

“You know…I was w-w-wrong. I’m g-g-glad it was you. It was you all a-along.”

Stan brought Bill to him once more. He had never been so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So was it everything you hoped and waited for? I will be expecting many comments with your reactions, y'all better start writing. But seriously I am so grateful for your patience, and the enthusiasm and support I have received up until this point. This fic could not exist without you. I hope it inspires, entertains, heals, distracts... whatever you need from it, I hope I have given it to you. We are almost done.  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TheWeaverofWorlds


	20. Chapter 20

On Sunday, Beverly called the first official meeting for the Losers’ Club – sans two members. It took awhile for them all to get to the clubhouse, but once they were there Richie was the first to point out the obvious.

“I thought you said Bill was president,” Richie said.

“I did.”

“So how can this be the first official meeting if the president isn’t here?”

“Because it’s our first meeting where we’re talking business.”

“Business?” Mike asked.

“I propose, acting as proxy president, that next weekend we throw Bill and Stan their very own prom to make up for not being able to attend last night’s.”

“Hold on, I’m not sure that’s such a great idea.” Eddie said worrying at his bottom lip.

“Why not?”

“Um well,” he hadn’t thought this far ahead. He hadn’t heard from Stan about how things went and it would be really awkward if Stan’s feelings hadn’t been reciprocated. “You know Stan. He hates surprises.”

“That’s true, but I don’t see how this could backfire. It’s not an unkind surprise,” Beverly said.

“Yeah, but maybe we should just wait to discuss this.”

“Wait for what?”

“I don’t know. Haven’t you noticed how the two of them have been really weird lately? Maybe we should wait for things to be more normal,” Eddie really hoped that none of them would start prying. If they did he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep Stan’s secret, especially if Richie was the one asking.

“What do you mean?” Ben asked. Eddie thanked his stars. He could handle Ben.

“They just seem to be avoiding each other right now. Like when we visited Bill in the hospital and Stan didn’t want any alone time.”

“Do you think they got into a fight?” Mike asked.

“I don’t know. Bill hasn’t told me of anything,” Richie said.

“Has Stan talked to either of you?” Ben asked Beverly and Eddie.

Beverly shook her head. Eddie hesitated for a fraction of a second before doing the same. He hoped no one noticed.

“Well whatever it is can’t be too serious,” Beverly said shrugging. “So are we all in?”

Eddie couldn’t protest further without telling them everything so resignedly he agreed. He really really hoped their conversation had gone well last night.

– 

He needn’t have worried. On Monday, Stan came to school with a huge hickey on his neck. Bill hadn’t even tried to be subtle. While Eddie was gaping at it, Beverly and Richie seemed to get a few choice remarks in.

“Guess I shouldn’t feel bad for you missing Prom. It looks like you made your own fun.” Beverly laughed.

“Jesus, Bev.” Stan ducked his head.

“God, is that thing real?” Richie poked Stan in the neck.

“Fuck off, Rich.”

Richie laughed. “Did Bill take your V-Card?”

“Beep beep.”

“So things went well?” Eddie asked.

Stan smiled softly. “Yeah. Things went well.”

Eddie had never felt so relieved.

“What are you guys talking about?” Beverly asked.

“We’ll tell you at lunch,” Stan said.

The plan was to go to Derry Prep for lunch, and Eddie wondered if Bill and Stan were finally going to come clean. He was in for an entertaining day to say the least.

–

Stan was nervous for lunch. He and Bill had decided to tell their friends the truth. No more secrets.

When they arrived at DP, the boys were already outside at their usual table. Bill had the goofiest smile on his face that Stan came to associate with dating him for real. He took his seat beside Bill, the other boy wrapping his arm around him and pressing a kiss on his temple.

Ben seemed a little surprised, probably because they had never been this open with PDA. It didn’t take long for everyone to start eating.

“So we have something we wanted to tell you guys,” Stan started.

“OH MY GOD, STANIEL, ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

“Beep beep, Richie. Why would you even ask that?” Stan asked blushing heavily.

Richie laughed. “Well seeing as how he took your V-Card last –”

“He did not take my V-Card, Richard. JESUS. Who calls it that anyways? Are you twelve?”

“Ohhhh, okay. Sorry. Would you prefer I use the term deflower? Take your virtue? Your maidenhead? Talk to me Staniel.” 

“You’re actually the worst.” Stan said.

Bill laughed.

“And you are just encouraging him.” Stan turned to his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, s-s-sweetheart.” Bill said looking at Stan through his lashes.

Stan melted as the tension left his system.

“So this news?” Ben asked. 

“Uh w-we’ve been faking this w-whole time.” Bill said turning his focus to the group.

It was like a small bomb had been dropped.

Richie was the first one to speak. “Like faking orgasms? Cause that’s definitely something you two should keep to yourselves.”

“No, Richie. Our relationship.” Stan said.

Richie let out a sharp laugh. “There is no way you two were faking. I would know.”

“They’re telling the truth,” Eddie said.

Everyone turned to look at him. Beverly turned back to Stan.

“You’re pranking us right? There’s no way that past two months have been fake.” She said.

“It started out as a fake r-r-relationship, but now it’s r-r-real.”

“Now?” Ben’s voice was surprisingly high.

“Woah, I think you guys need to start from the top,” Mike said.

Stan and Bill shared an amused look. “How m-m-much time you g-got?”

“Until the warning bell, but I think you better leave time for questions,” Ben said looking at his girlfriend who was practically vibrating in her seat.

Stan started to recount the story, with Bill helpfully interjecting along the way.

“Well that’s certainly an unconventional way of getting together,” Ben said when they had finished.

“I can’t believe neither one of you spilled the beans.” Beverly said. “I feel like the worst friend.”

“You get used to it,” Eddie said. Beverly didn’t look comforted.

“I just want to say I called it,” Richie said.

“Called what?” Stan asked.

“That this was fake from the start.”

“Bullshit!” Eddie said.

“There was no way our Stan The Man would ever let his V-card be punched by –”

“Enough with the V-card thing!” Stan’s face was red.

Richie laughed softly. “Alright. I didn’t know and I’m sorry about the virginity jokes. Kinda. But you could have told me, Bill. You know I would have had your back.”

“It w-w-was too embarrassing. B-besides the whole point was to convince you –”

“Yeah yeah, I get that Big Bill. I just can’t believe you had so little faith in me.”

“We f-f-faked a relationship for two months and that’s w-w-what you’re hung up about?” Bill laughed.

“Absolutely!”

“I g-g-guess that’s fair.”

“Well at least he’s not calling you a dumbass,” Stan said.

Bill laughed warmly at that, the inside joke was lost to their friends.

And Richie’s eyes bulged. “Oh no. I definitely am. How did it take you this long to confess your feelings? You’ve been into him since you saw him!”

“I know, I w-w-was just intimidated,” Bill blushed.

“Jesus Christ, you two are helpless!”

“I think it’s sweet,” Ben said.

“Of course you do, Haystack. You’re a big ol’ romantic who listens to Ed Sheeran.”

“Richie, don’t insult my boyfriend like that!” Beverly laughed.

“Quite right. Terribly sorry, Master Hanscom.” Richie bowed to Ben.

“I hate it when you do the British guy,” Eddie said, but no one was listening.

Stan watched their friends with amusement. He tucked his head onto Bill’s shoulders. Things could have gone much worse.

– 

The rest of the week, the Losers’ Club (Derry High Division) were busy forming their GSA. Beverly was elected as president. Stan was elected VP and treasurer, which he thought was a bit much. Eddie had taken on the position of secretary, and Richie had refused all responsibility offered to him.

Within the first week a swell of students had expressed interest in joining. First in line was Eva, which wasn’t really a surprise. She offered to take photos at club events and work as an informal archivist. After seeing the photos she had taken the night of Prom they would have been a fool to say no. Madame Wallace wanted to work on social outreach through social media, and was working with the school on getting an Instagram account created. If she succeeded they would be in need of a good photographer. Next was Connor Bowers, which was a pretty big surprise. He was a lot nicer than his cousin, and reminded Stan a bit of Vic, but much nerdier. He and Richie got on like a house on fire. Stan wondered if Eddie was jealous, but it seemed like Eddie was more concerned about the two of them not getting arrested for something stupid. Two freshman joined the GSA, Don Haggerty and Adrian Mellon, as well as sophomores Betty Ripsom and Harry Dunning. It wasn’t bad for a week of campaigning, and when Stan looked out at the group at their first meeting he felt a sense of pride. They had done this.

Beverly was also coordinating with Bill, the president of DP’s GSA to hold joint events every month. However, because the school year was almost over this was something they would be considering more in the fall.

Even with all this going on, Stan noticed his friends were distracted. Beverly would pull Richie and Eddie aside to discuss something and anytime he got close to her she would clam up. It wasn’t like them. Bill told Stan that Mike and Ben were often in their own world too. It was weird. Stan wondered if his friends were mad at them for lying for so long. He got his answer on Saturday, and his suspicions were way off the mark.

–

Stan was standing in an aisle of Keene’s Pharmacy looking at shower caps. There were a surprising number of designs, and he wanted to get this right. Ever since the Losers’ Club had been founded, Beverly made it seem like they would be spending more time in the clubhouse. If that was the case, Stan was determined to keep spiders from getting in his hair and that of his friends. He looked at the different designs trying to select ones that he thought his friends would like.

He pulled a pastel blue poke-a-dot for Ben, and a matching one in yellow for Beverly. He thought the sunniness suited her personality. Next he pulled a paisley one for Mike. The boy could pull it off, probably better than the rest of them, if his prom suit was anything to go off of. He thought Bill would like a plain navy one, and for himself he picked out a floral design that had the same dark blue in the flowers. That just left Eddie and Richie. It was Richie who was holding Stan up as he wasn’t sure what style the other boy would like.

As he stood contemplating his options his phone rang. He shuffled the shower caps into one hand so that his free one could reach into his back pocket.

“Hello?”

“Stan!”

“Mom?”

“Can you come home right now?”

“Has something happened?” Panic began to stir in Stan’s heart. Everything had been going so well of course something was bound to go wrong – 

“No, honey. Nothing like that. I just need your help with something.”

“I’m at the pharmacy right now. I can be home in about ten minutes.”

“Alright, honey. I’ll see you then.”

Stan hung up with a frown. He hadn’t been able to place his mother’s tone. What he initially thought had been panic may have just been excitement. He jammed the phone back into his pocket and quickly selected two more shower caps. Stan hoped Richie liked white duckies or pastel pink because that’s what he was going to get.

He went to the front and tried to hide his impatience as Mr. Keene took his time ringing up his items.

He rushed home in record time.

He ran inside not sure to expect, but it definitely wasn’t Beverly and Eddie sitting on his couch drinking lemonade with his mother.

“What’s going on?” Stan asked.

All three of them had bright looks of expectation.

“We’re here to help you get ready for your date,” Beverly said.

“I don’t have a date tonight.”

“Yes you do,” Eddie said grabbing Stan’s hand and dragging him upstairs.

“Thanks for the lemonade, Mrs. Uris.” Beverly said before following them up.

“What the hell is going on?”

“You’ll just have to trust us. It’s the least you can do after lying to us for two months,” Beverly teased. Although Stan suspected that she was still a little bit bitter.

Eddie began digging through his wardrobe, shoving clothes aside until he found what he was looking for.

“A suit?” Stan asked. “What sort of date is this? Did Bill put you up to this?”

“All will be revealed,” Beverly said.

“Put it on,” Eddie shoved the clothes at Stan.

Stan did as he was told.

“Also this,” Beverly said holding up a bandanna.

“Is that a –”

“Blindfold? Yes it is. And you need to put it on.” Eddie said.

Stan took it, looking at his friends. “What’s going on? Really?”

“Sorry, Stan. We can’t say, but you won’t need to wait two months to find out.” So Beverly was definitely still bitter.

Resignedly, Stan put on the bandanna.

He could feel himself being led downstairs and then out to his mother’s car. Eddie guided him gently ensuring that he didn’t run into anything. They drove for a short while before his mom parked. He was then led up a short flight of stairs that he knew even blind. They were at the Ukrainian Club. Stan wondered what they were doing there. He felt himself led inside where the blindfold was taken off.

He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the change in light. Beverly was in front of him fixing his curls while Eddie was nowhere to be seen.

“Why are we here?”

“Just follow the arrows. You can’t miss it,” Beverly said. She leaned up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. “Have fun.”

Stan watched her go out the front with some confusion. He looked down to find that he was standing on a dark blue arrow that was outlined with silver sharpie. His curiosity was piqued. What on earth were his friends up to? He followed the arrows. To his surprise they didn’t lead upstairs like he was expecting. Instead they led to the back corner of the building.

He came to a classroom door. There was a colorful poster which read in English and Ukrainian Miss Lana’s Pre-K Class. The blinds were down. Stan opened the door unsure what to expect.

Svetlana’s classroom was decorated in paper cutout mobiles of moons and stars. Christmas lights were strung up around the classroom via pushpins. There were also dark blue balloons and streamers. Drawn onto the windows were more stars. The chalkboard was covered in a beautiful script that read: 

A Night Among The Stars.   
Welcome to YOUR Prom.

All the desks had been cleared out of the way leaving a makeshift dance floor. Music was playing softly from somewhere, slow and sweet. Stan teared up a little at the sight of Bill sitting at a table. His head was resting in his hand, and he was gazing at the parking lot below. No doubt he was reminded of what occurred there. Stan forced his attention back to something neutral. There was a silver table cloth, and his mother’s candlesticks were placed at the center. Food was plated and Stan can see the steam rising from it. It looked like Olive Garden.

Stan walked over to Bill, the other boy looked away from the window.

“You look very h-h-handsome.”

“Thank you, so do you.” Stan sat down, and then couldn’t help himself from asking, “did you do all this?”

Bill shook his head. “It was B-beverly’s idea. Svetlana’s class made the mobiles and she drew on the chalkboard and w-windows. B-ben made the playlist and picked up the f-food. Mike and some of the DP GSA got the streamers, b-balloons, and fairy lights. Richie was in charge of g-getting me here and I’m guessing B-b-bev and E-e-eddie did the same for you?”

“How do you know all this?” Stan asked. Bev and Eddie had refused to let anything slip.

“I ran into B-ben coming in. It wasn’t h-hard to get him to talk. H-h-here let me get your chair.”

Bill rose pulling out Stan’s chair for him.

They began to eat. The food was still hot and tasted delicious.

“In a couple weeks there’s the Spring Dance Showcase,” Stan started.

Bill smiled. “I know. I s-s-saw the posters c-c-coming in.”

“I’d really like you to come. If you want.” Stan blushed.

“I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Conversation drifted to the past week. Stan told Bill more about the other members of the Derry High GSA. He told Bill about how he had been buying shower caps when his mother had called him today, how he wanted them for the clubhouse. Bill smiled at that. It was the soft smile which he reserved just for Stan. Bill talked about how Georgie was doing, the lacrosse season was wrapping up but he was going away this summer for a lacrosse camp. It would be the first time his parents allowed him to go to a sleep-away camp. It was a pretty big deal, and while Georgie was trying to be cool about it Bill could tell that he was excited. He also wanted Bill to ask Stan if he had any book recommendations. He wasn’t sure that he would have a lot of time, but it was clear that Georgie valued Stan’s taste. Stan promised to get him a list.

By now they had finished eating.

“C-c-care to d-d-dance?”

Stan nodded. Bill offered him his hand before pulling him to the center of the classroom. The light outside was beginning to fade, so the room was painted in the warmth of the fairy lights. The music was slow, so Bill took Stan into his arms. Bill led Stan in a simple waltz.

“I didn’t know you knew ballroom dancing.”

“There’s a lot you d-d-don’t know about m-me.”

“Bullshit. You can’t pull the dark and mysterious card with me, Denbrough. I know you too well.”

Bill dipped Stan. Stan yelped.

“Clearly I’ve still got a few surprises up m-my sleeve.” Bill righted him, blood rushed from Stan’s head causing him to feel dizzy.

“So you gonna tell me who gave you the lessons or not?” Stan asked.

“Vic may have t-taught me a thing or two w-w-when we were super stoned once.”

Stan laughed. “You’re adorable.”

“I love you, y-you know that right?”

Stan’s mirth was replaced with something warmer. Brighter. His smile softened as he relaxed further into Bill’s touch. “I love you too.”

As Bill held him close waltzing him around the room, Stan thought about all that had changed. Loving Bill and knowing he was loved in return was everything for which Stan had been waiting. Everyday was an adventure, and the promise of summer burned brightly at the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your responses on the last chapter. I can't believe this fic is almost over. All that remains is a brief epilogue. I am so grateful for all the love and support I have gotten over these past few months. Thank you once again.  
> Fondly yrs.  
> TWoW


	21. Epilogue

The day of the Spring Showcase had finally arrived. Stan looked out over the crowd and was pleasantly surprised at what he saw. His mother was there, of course. She was sitting right near the front. And just behind her was Bill, Mike, Richie, and Ben. Sitting next to Bill was Georgie, and on the other side of him were Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough. He hadn’t expected for them to be here. Although they had warmed a little to him once they had seen how happy Bill was, there was still tension. Stan couldn’t blame them. And all the same, he was touched that they had come.

Svetlana was a few rows back. Eva and Madame Wallace just beyond her. And standing in the back, looking uncomfortably out of place, was his dad. He was shifting his weight from leg to leg, spine unnervingly straight. Stan forced himself to look away as his mind filled with questions about why his dad was here. For the first time today he began to feel nervous. His finals were done for the year and the last big hurdle was Showcase. Knowing all these people were here to support him did nothing to ease his nerves. If anything it made it worse. God, he had never wanted to vomit so badly.

He returned to backstage where he found Eddie and Beverly waiting. Eddie didn’t look much better. Although his piece with Greta had been cut, due to his arm, he still had his solo: Siegfried’s Variation from the _Swan Lake_. As such he was dressed in white tights, a white peasant blouse, and a black vest. He looked like he wanted to reach for his inhaler, but of course his costume didn’t leave room for it. He had had to leave it in the makeshift changing rooms. Even so his fingers twitched uneasily.

“Are they here?” Beverly asked.

“All of them,” Stan replied.

“Eva and Madame Wallace too?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.” Beverly let out a huff of a laugh. “Oh my god this is insane.”

“You’re going to be amazing, Beverly. You can do the Lilac Fairy in your sleep,” Stan said.

The female soloists were going first, followed by the male soloists. Lastly would be the combinations. Although they were only dancing for a few minutes at a time, ballet demanded absolutely everything. By the end they would be exhausted.

Beverly adjusted the tiara before smoothing her hands over the light purple tulle of her tutu. “You’re right. I guess I’m just nervous. But fuck that, right?”

“You’re Beverly Marsh. The girl who created a GSA at Derry High. If you can do that you can do anything.” Eddie said.

She cracked a smile. “You two are too good for me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Losers got to stick together.” Stan took her hand and squeezed it.

Eddie took Beverly’s other hand before grabbing Stan’s. “Let’s go show them just what it takes to be a Loser.”

Beverly squeezed both their hands before letting go and pulling them into a group hug.

“I love you guys.”

The showcase began. Beverly was near the end of the first portion. As it got closer and closer to her piece she moved away from her friends, being sure to stay hidden in the wings. Stan watched as she stretched, warming her body up. Even in the shadowy light that came through the curtain tabs, Stan could see how beautiful she looked. The costume showed off the her delicate collarbones, her hair was swept up creating the illusion that her neck was longer than it actually was. Stan didn’t know how she danced with a tiara. He was sure that if it were him he would always worry about it coming off while he did a _grand jete_ or _pirouette_. But Beverly made it flawless.

Greta’s solo was done and Beverly was next. As the audience applauded, Beverly looked once more over her shoulder before stepping through the tab curtains onto the stage. Stan and Eddie could hear the sweeping, stately swells which opened her variation. It began soft and light, before the repetitive phrase grew sweeter and clearer. By the time it ended the auditorium burst into applause, and if anyone asked Stan they were the loudest yet. Amid the applause he thought he could hear his friends cheering. It brought a smile to his lips.

After a few more solos it was Eddie’s turn. He had a grim look of determination on his face which Stan knew from experience would melt once he was onstage. In its place would an easy confidence which Eddie always seemed to possess once he was under the lights. Stan mused that Eddie had always been strong, maybe stronger than he and Bill had suspected. He just needed the confidence that being on stage provided for him.

Eddie stepped beyond the black curtains out of view.

The music started, having a lazy, wandering feel to it. As the piece continued it grew purposeful and regal. Stan could see Eddie in his mind’s eye leaping across the stage. His lungs would be burning, not from the asthma, but from exhilaration. Stan figured that when Eddie danced it was the only time he didn’t feel sickly or weak. Power and confidence were stored in spades in his lithe body and he wasn’t even aware of it. Stan turned to whisper his realization to Bev until he remembered that she was changing for their duet.

The music built to its conclusion, and applause broke out. 

Above it all, Stan could hear Richie whistling. The other Losers cheered loudly. This certainly wasn’t a typical Spring Showcase. Stan couldn’t help but feel love for his friends.

Eddie returned backstage, face flushed. Stan didn’t know if it was from dancing or a pleased sort of embarrassment. He was smiling and seemed absolutely in his own world.

“Break a leg, Stan. You’re going to be brilliant.” Eddie said in passing.

The nerves which Stan had been working so hard to distract himself from returned and doubled. As another soloist went, Stan focused on his breathing. Like Beverly had done before him he stretched, enjoying the slight burn in his muscles. He tuned out all distractions and thoughts achieving a calm, blissed out, state. Stan wasn’t self reflecting at the moment; but if he had been he might have realized that like Eddie’s strength, he only ever achieved this calm state when it came to dance. Instead he prepared to step on stage.

The solo before him ended. Stan pushed through the heavy curtains.

Immediately he was aware of the temperature difference. It was hot under the stage lights. Next he felt the eyes on him. It was like the room was held in suspense. A silent hush. Waiting. In the moment before the music begun, Stan took a breath and tuned out the rest.

The music started as it had in the studio all those weeks ago when Bill had watched him dance. While the music was the same, so much had changed. Dating Bill Denbrough for real was so much better than anything they had done as pretend boyfriends. After the last few lacrosse games of the season Bill had taken Stan and Georgie out to Al’s and the three boys had had a grand time.

It was at one of these dinners that they had told Georgie that they had been fake dating. The expression the younger Denbrough’s face had been priceless. He had then kicked Bill in the shins and called him a moron, before asking Stan how he could put up with such stupidity. It was sweet, although Bill pretended to be offended that Georgie was taking Stan’s side.

Stan started inviting Bill over for family dinners as Andrea loved to have the two of them together. When they told her the truth she had acted like she wasn’t surprised, which threw both of them. But all she said was that she was happy that they had found one another, even if the way had been a little convoluted.

Several times, Bill had driven Stan to the quarry. The two of them would sit there, in the soft morning light, and just spend time together. Sometimes they spent the morning lazily making out. Other times Stan would bird watch while Bill would work on his stories. He had begun to share pieces of his writing, and that was like looking into his soul. Stan cherished these moments with all his heart. 

So while the music and steps were the same. Everything else was entirely different.

Afterward, if anyone had asked Stan what he had been thinking of during his solo he wouldn’t have been able to say. It was like a blackout… all that existed was the music and the steps. He remembered the moment before, his nerves settling at last, and the moment after. It was then that he allowed himself to look out at the audience. His friends were cheering. Bill and Georgie were on their feet, and were joined by Richie and the others. He felt infinite and victorious. He knew it had gone well.

He left the stage to go change into his costume for his duet with Bev. His nerves were singing with adrenaline. Nothing could diminish this feeling.

–

After the showcase, Stan rushed out to see his friends and family. His mother was the first one to pull him into a hug.

“Congratulations, honey. I’m so proud of you.” She said before kissing his cheek.

He flushed at her praise.

“I bought these for you,” she said. She handed him a bouquet of sunflowers.

“Thanks, mom.”

“You’re very welcome. Now go greet your adoring fans. I would hate for you to keep them waiting a moment longer.”

Stan nodded. He pushed his way through the crowd to where the rest of the Losers were standing. Richie held three arrangements, one was a large bouquet of red roses which he gave to Eddie. The others were smaller mixes of white gerber daisies, lilies, and babies breath which he handed to Stan and Bev.

“Your duet was incredible.” He said. “I know I saw it in the parking lot at DP, but holy shit. You guys looked amazing.”

“Thanks Richie. My toes appreciate it,” Beverly said with a laugh. Already she had a large bouquet of coral roses, which if Stan had to guess Ben had given to her.

Stan found Bill. His boyfriend pulled him into a gentle hug, careful not to crush the flowers in his arms.

“Hey, sweetheart. You were a-a-amazing.”

“I’m glad you came.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the w-world. These are for you.” Bill handed Stan another bouquet. It was the prettiest one yet. It was full of wildflowers which were in bloom down by the quarry. Stan recognized the purple and white asters, the white foxglove, and marigolds. There were bluebells and buttercups. Firewheels and daisies and goldenrod. And above it all was the smell of myrtle. Stan didn’t know where Bill had bought the myrtle but it made him smile. It was a smell that reminded him of home and was a symbol of love.

“This is beautiful. It must have taken you hours.” Stan said.

“I helped.” Georgie said from behind Bill.

“He did n-not.”

“I was there.”

“You talked my e-e-ear off.”

Stan laughed at the brothers.

“You were incredible, Stan. There are guys on the team that wish they were as coordinated and graceful as you.”

Stan smiled, “send them down to the Ukrainian Club. I’m sure the Ballet Academy would welcome more male students.”

The devious look in Georgie’s eye said he just might do it.

Svetlana passed them on her way out. “Lovely job, Stan. It reminded me of home.”

“Thank you, for everything.” For the prom. For saving Bill’s life. For being a friend when they needed one most.

She smiled, and he knew that she knew, before disappearing into the crowd.

Stan watched her go, and as she made it to the door he saw his father once more. The older man caught his eye, raised a hand in a half salutation before leaving. Stan wondered if there was anything to repair there. He wondered if he cared. He turned his attention back to the Losers, the family that he had created. The conversation was loud and boisterous, but it was exactly where he belonged.

– 

The Losers were at the quarry, sunning themselves on the rocks. The whole summer lay ahead of them. There was power in that. Beverly fiddled with a small portable radio until she found a station free and clear of static. As it happened it was playing fifties rock and roll, but no one seemed to mind.

“I finally convinced my mom to let me get my learner’s permit,” Eddie said in relation to nothing in particular.

“That’s wonderful, Eddie,” Beverly said.

“How do you like driving?” Ben asked.

Eddie smiled, that small secretive smile that was usually reserved for things having to do with Richie. “I like it a lot.”

“He’s a natural. Speedy little motherfucker,” Richie said. “He’s been driving my car around the school parking lot like a champ.”

“You’re teaching him?” Stan’s mind reeled at the thought. 

“Eds deserves the best,” Richie said.

Stan mouth fell open. There was no way anyone would consider Richie a good driver, let alone the best, but before he could start a fight Bill cut in.

“W-what about you, sweetheart? W-want to try driving my SUV a-a-around this summer? Or maybe you’d prefer Richie to g-g-give you lessons?”

Stan turned to his boyfriend with a look of pure horror on his face. “You’re kidding right?”

Bill’s roguish smirk softened. “Yeah, but you love m-me.”

Stan couldn’t help but smile as he pulled Bill to him. The kiss they shared was brief and chaste for the sake of their friends, but Stan still couldn’t help how dizzy it made him feel. Distantly he could hear his friends chatting and the sound of birds calling to one another. Above it all Buddy Holly was singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. It's over. I hope you liked it. I have loved having you along for the ride.  
> Please let me know what you thought. And if this work inspires you to make your own art (drawings, fics, tiktoks etc.) please let me know. I would love to see what you create.  
> This has been such a labor of love, and is the longest story I've completed in a very, very long time. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for the support and love. I mean it from the very bottom of my heart.  
> Always yrs.  
> TheWeaverofWorlds  
> June 23, 2020
> 
>  **UPDATE 6/27/20** : [ @JaquesSays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacquesSays) has created some beautiful [fanart](https://www.instagram.com/p/CB5n60_lgMT/?igshid=1a186yyksf4oo) for this fic. Be sure to go check it out and give them some love!


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